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Have you (or someone close to you) had Chemotherapy?

15 replies

Romann · 29/07/2014 00:49

Hi all, my mum is about to start chemo for pancreatic cancer. I live in Australia and can't visit much because of the kids and work. What nice things can I send? I was thinking of some UGGs as I heard foot and hand pain is a common side effect. What else would be nice for her to find in a parcel? She is also too tired to keep up her usual activities like golf and pilates. Any suggestions very welcome.

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Lally112 · 29/07/2014 00:57

Truthfully? Just call a lot. Its a really nice thought sending things but I imagine she is taking stock of her life at the moment and just hearing her daughters voice on the end of the phone will be better than anything you could send. Thanks for you and your mum and wishing her the best possible outcome.

Romann · 29/07/2014 01:03

Thanks Lally - yes we FaceTime most days. Wish I wasn't in sodding Australia - I don't think the prognosis is good at all. Worrying about my dad too Sad

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minmooch · 29/07/2014 01:07

Can you speak to her consultant to find out what side effects are likely with her chemo? There are so many types with different side effects so what is good for one person may not be needed by your mum.

But some suggestions:

Magazines
High calorie snacks incase her appetite is effected
Lots of e45 cream - chemo can dry out your skin terribly but make it very sensitive to perfumed creams
Dry shampoo as she may be too tired to wash her hair
Comfortable clothes.
Cardigans because if she is having iv chemo she won't want to struggle in and out of jumpers to release an arm
Small photo album of nearest and dearest to take into hospital. Will be nice for her but gives nurses something personal to talk with her

I hope her treatment goes smoothly.

Lally112 · 29/07/2014 01:08

I didn't want to say in case you had been given a 'timeframe' so to speak. Chemo is a poison - directed at cancer but it is still a poison and its going to floor her, I don't want to lie to you because even on face time you will realise the toll it can take.
It will make her feel pretty horrendous for a good while after it no matter which protocol she is on so she might not be up to doing anything t hat would require getting out of bed and wearing uggs if you see what I mean. I do feel for you. Its not nice to watch. Does your dad have other support around him?

Happy36 · 29/07/2014 01:11

My brother in law had it a few years ago when he was 16. Lollipops to ease the pain of mouth sores are good. New bedding and comfy pillows as your mum is likely to be sleeping a lot. A subscription to her favourite magazine or a kindle or nintendo ds or books on tape etc. to relax with/distract herself during the treatment.

I wish your mum all the best.

Romann · 29/07/2014 01:11

That's a good idea about photos - I will make her a special photo book. Emailing my siblings now to send me some pictures. And I'll send UGGs and a couple of nice cardigans. Thanks!

She hates her hair: she's hoping it will get thinner and she can get a wig Grin

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gingeroots · 29/07/2014 09:45

So sorry to hear about your mum Romann .

I think the SE vary according to what chemo you are having . I found some of the anti emetics very sedating and I slept a lot - it wasn't because the chemo was so debilitating it was a SE of one of the other drugs .She may be glad of a quick phone call but not up to talking much .

Main thing is that your mum ,or dad if she's not up to it ,rings hospital if feeling sick ,has sore mouth etc . They have v good drugs to combat SE but will usually start you off on one and if that doesn't provide enough relief need to be prompted to offer you another . I'm afraid he who shouts loudest gets heard ,so time to overcome fears of being a nuisance .

Emend/apprepitant is v good for nausea/sickness . If your mum has history of nausea eg with preganancies/travel sickness she should stress this now .
Difflam is v good for mouth sores . They normally prescribe Vit B to combat nerve pain to feet and hands .

If she's having chemo through a cannula into a vein ( as opposed to a picc line ) it helps if you are well hydrated and have warm arms .

I found I coped well but was surprised how distressed I was by hair loss . If this is a SE for your mum I found the falling out bit hard and was glad when I bit the bullet and had it all buzzed off . I was taken by surprise by how cold it was without hair and if this happens she will need soft caps for bed etc .

If she has morphine for pain it can cause wild dreams .

I found flowers comforting , nice to look at - to counteract the rather over bright institutional hospital visits ,helped blot out the morphine images ( so no flowers with " faces " like orchids ) and just pretty ...

Chin up .

PS I honestly believe it's often worse for relatives than the person undergoing it all . The hospital staff are so kind and you do feel very supported . But the poor old relatives feel helpless and can only worry .

KurriKurri · 29/07/2014 12:31

I would write her a letter saying how much you love her and what a great Mum she is, put in some memories of things you've done together, - she can read and re read it and it will give her strength and encouragement.

When I was having chemo, my mother wrote to me every week - just newsy encouraging stuff, - I so looked forward to those letters - it really kept me going.

worldgonecrazy · 29/07/2014 12:44

Tincture of myrrh can help with the mouth thrush/sore mouth that can be a side effect. I think that simple thing was one of the things that kept mum sane - she was really suffering it quite painfully and a medically qualified herbalist recommended gargling with 3 or 4 drops in a glass of water. Instant soothing. (This also helps with vaginal thrush.)

I like the idea of letters/photos too.

Stuffofawesome · 29/07/2014 12:53

Good skincare free from nasties. Take a look at beauty despite cancer website, or notanotherbunchofflowers.com . Nice cotton pyjamas, queasydrops spearmint and lemon essential oils good for nausea. Hope she gets well soon

RahRahRasputin · 29/07/2014 13:13

Do you know what regime she is having? If so, you can look up on the Macmillan website (don't Google in general as you will find all sorts of out of date and downright wacky information!) and see which side effects are more likely. They do vary quite a lot. My chemo wasn't meant to cause hair loss at all, but mine did thin - possibly due to the anaemia rather than the actual chemo. Similarly some are more likely to cause stomach issues, or thrush. I'd hold off on sending any medical type things, even herbal, until you know what symptoms she is having. If nothing else, they might make her feel more miserable anticipating all of those things.

Agree with sending letters/postcards/emails - but don't expect a reply, perhaps make clear that you don't expect one. I loved receiving post and emails, especially short messages with not too much to read! But I wasn't able to reply much as I struggled with concentration/memory ("chemo brain").

I'm sorry she is going through this, and sending love to you all Flowers

Romann · 01/08/2014 00:31

Thank you all for the helpful information - I really appreciate it. I've been without internet for a couple of days so haven't been on line to reply. Kurri seeing your daughter have cancer/chemo must be appalling, I bet that was awful for your mum too.

She's supposed to be having gemcap, but still hasn't started, despite the fact that it's a whole month now since the tumour was diagnosed and it was decided that it couldn't be operated. I think she's being messed around by the NHS: she's been to 2 appointments now where the consultant hasn't shown up. So it's all being delayed, and of course she feels like she has a time bomb inside.

It's not too difficult to find research papers on line that give some info, but in general the test groups don't seem to be very big. I wonder why there aren't more researchers processing data on thousands of cancer patients. Maybe I just haven't found the right things. I have been turning to Macmillan as it's easy to follow and less scary than much of what's out there. The worst are the sites dedicated to pancreatic cancer, oddly enough. I understand why - they have to emphasise how bad it is to support their campaign for more funding and research. But the statistics in giant capitals are really appalling.

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Annietheacrobat · 01/08/2014 06:14

Romann I agree with the previous poster who said to look on the Macmillan website. They have specific information sheets for every regimen. (Gemcap = gemcitabine and capecitabine).

This combination is unlikely to cause hair loss but she will feel tired. It can cause diarrhoea, mouth ulcers and vomiting too. The skin on her hands and feet might become red and sore.

Really sorry to hear that your family are going through this. Must be tough being so far away.

Annietheacrobat · 01/08/2014 06:16

Sorry just seen that you have been on the Macmillan site already.

smee · 01/08/2014 11:22

Does your mum like reading? I found it hugely frustrating on chemo as I often couldn't focus on a book - not sure why, but I think it's common. I got a subscription to Audible and found audio books useful - definitely helped me switch off and relax a bit. Also, DVD box sets are good - I went through the West Wing.

Hope she gets started with it all soon. It's so horrid waiting.

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