Driving phobia

[Snowstorm]

Hi everyone. I wasn't sure which section to post this one in but I was just wondering whether anyone out there had a driving phobia? I'm trying to work my way through mine as it's a bit of a cloud hanging over my otherwise perfectly normal life and also I don't want my daughters (2 and 3 years old) to be restricted or held back by it OR to think there's anything scary about driving. It's a stress though (mentally and physically) trying to force yourself to do something that's SO far out of your comfort zone. Would love to hear from anyone with a similar problem (preferably with a magic cure and fairytale ending!! ).

thanks snowstorm

i had counselling for over 3 years and pills am lot better now just driving a problem on motorways

Snowstorm, just one more thing you might like to think about. I think that there might be a local group of the Institute of Advanced Motorists near you and they are bound to have women Observers who would be more than happy to take you out for a run or two. I'm an Observer, but up in Oxford and I do this because I think it is so important to get women back out on the road being able to drive confidently.

They are likely to be able to help like Aitch says her brother drives, by looking further into the distance and planning.

The IAM does have this rather fuddy duddy image, but there are some of us who aren't!

Hi Pollyanna. Yes, I'm also very nervous of turning right without noticing a bike of some sort on my r/h side and knocking them down or something like that. Most of my problem seems to be in the anticipation but some of it is that if I make a mistake then I find it very hard to let it go (I guess that's the perfectionism bit creeping into the phobia bit - how helpful heh ) whereas other people would just think 'oh b*llocks' and carry on kind of thing.

A friend of mine suggested NLP but I don't really know what it means - I now know that I'm not very good at any kind of hypnotism angle ... I keep waiting to be made to bark like a dog or some such thing .

mcmum ... I'd be absolutely crapping myself (literally) if I had to go on a motorway. I haven't had to go on one yet (which actually isn't great because it puts pressure on my husband and our ageing parents to do the driving when we go and stay) but a couple of months ago I did go on my first dual-carriageway in Dorset with my mother in the passenger seat (and girls in the back). It was a real novelty to go above 30mph (I live in London) and I accelerated so much going on to it that I lost one of my magnetised 'P' plates ... I like to think that it landed on a very, very expensive car .

PigeonPie - I appreciate what you are saying but with me I think I'd probably go to pieces with a stranger in the passenger seat. I'm very comfortable with DH or my mother next to me (anxiety symptoms are there beforehand but greatly reduced as at least I have someone helping me with directions/new road situations etc.) but I never drive alone (will take DD1 for company/distraction on the rare occasion that I have a choice of leaving DD2 behind).

Think I really need a bloody great slap round the head to put things into perspective really as the rest of my life is really much better than I'm allowing it to be, IYKWIM.

but if you are likely to go to pieces with someone else in the car, wouldn't the very best person be one of these observers?

i'm assuming that they aren't there to judge you, but to praise you for the things you do correctly (as so many driving instructors forget to do) and gently help you to relax. thing is, snowstorm, you are anxious, but you don't actually sound like a terrible driver iykwim?

oh, and i remembered another thing i did, which is to get one of those tom tom things. (actually, mine is on my phone, very spiffy). it's great if i'm going somewhere i don't know as if you take a wrong turn it just recalculates from where you are and takes you a different way. i used to use it for even the most basic journeys to places i really did know, but i don't now. i think they cost about £200 now, and it was well worth it becasue it just completely removes that anxiety, leaving you to concentrate on the actual driving.

i've also got one other tip, lord knows it's really, really obvious but i didn't know it until my wee bro told me...

you know when you are on the motorway and the overhead signs start saying 'this way for x' this way for y' etc and you start panicking that you are about to be dragged off onto a road you don't want to go on? (surely it's not just me?)

weeeell, it turns out that how you know if you're going to be alright just staying in the left hand lane (where i like to stay ALL THE TIME) is you look at the cars that are actually going underneath the sign at that very moment. If the line between the road signs cuts the car in half vertically then you can stay where you are, but if the line is to one side of the car then the road is about to break off.

Hah! i don't think i've made any sense at all but try it next time you are out on a dual carriageway or motorway and you'll see what i mean.

Another epic, sorry.

snowstorm - havent rad the whole thread but want you to know that i had a driving phobia and have ocme out of the other side!! mine was a delayed reaction to an accident i had which caused me to have panic attacks,nightmares etc. after a little time off the road, anti depressants and some counselling, i have now been back on the road for 3 years.

please see someone about it as you are so right that you cant let it restrict your life or those of your dds.
good luck.

hi snowstorm wow you so could be me it's frightening, I wouldn't say I'm out the other side but I'm getting better about driving I practically drive every day now.

Here's my brief story, passed test first time 1999 in a diesel car, DP had a very fast boy racer type sports car so didn't drive that, I got myself a little Fiesta but couldn't drive it, kept stalling the bloody thing which made me so nervous, once stalled turning right on a 60mph road with oncoming traffic bearing down on us and DP screaming just get out the bloody car. Anyway I would drive to and from work only no right hand turns then we moved to London DP wrote off my Fiesta and we were carless for years. When I was pregnant with DD1 we knew we needed a car so we got one, DP did all the driving, we moved back to Scotland (where we are from) and DP was always nagging me to drive, I had hypnotism and refresher lessons but am still so so scared. To cap it all off DP lost his licence (long story) when I was 5 months pregnant with DD2 so if we want to go anywhere now I have to drive.

Every day is a struggle I absolutely hate driving even now 13 months on from driving every day I hate it, turning right doesn't bother me anymore as I don't stall now but what I hate is crawling in a traffic jam up a hill, I'm rubbish at staying at biting point and crawling forwards, the car rolls back and I'm scared I'll roll into the person behind me. I'll go the long way round rather than go up a hill when it's busy, turning right on a junction up a hill scares me too, traffic scares me no end if there were no cars on the road I would be fine, I'm terrified of hitting another car.

But last week I drove through Glasgow city centre on the motorway, this Sunday I am driving to see DP's sister an hours drive away, I never thought I would have been able to do any of that. DP sits in the car with me and tells me exactly what to do at the tricky bits.

I have to drive to the supermarket tomorrow though and although I've done it 100s of times now I still hate it. But like you I don't want the DDs missing out cos Mummy can't drive. So I suppose I'm getting there very slowly, jsut wanted to let you know you are not alone.