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Original poster

SEX HURTS 12 WEEKS AFTER BIRTH?

39 replies

Jaffacake1 · 10/09/2006 22:12

Any one else having/had this? I had a 7lb 15oz dd 12 weeks ago, with full-on induction/interference/ third degree tear and epis./withheld placenta/d&c etc, then after 10 days was rushed back in bleeding clots, so had another d&c, and they totally re-stitched me...
anyway, I have had tests for cystitis/bladder infections and they are clear, but we tried to have sex and my 'weeing' parts were agony from the inside. Was wondering if this is normal, as doc and hv. rather uninterested, dh patient at mo. but for how much longer? help!

OP posts:
colditz · 11/09/2006 23:27

I have 2 boys, ds1 is 3.5yrs, and his labour was 42 hours long with epidural and stuff, ds2's was bliss by comparison, I couldn't believe it was all over and done with so quickly.

Original poster
Jaffacake1 · 11/09/2006 23:27

it is hard to get better knowing in a few years everyone will want you to go thru it all again, try for a boy this time, etc, lol. I don't really want dd to grow up as an only child, but boy I so cannot be bovvered.

OP posts:
colditz · 11/09/2006 23:28

Jaffa you have had an unusually hard labour, don't feel bad about feeling bad, IYSWIM.

Original poster
Jaffacake1 · 11/09/2006 23:30

do you know what also flips me into a bad mood? having to take the dd away for the night to stay at parents'. she is just in a routine, and i think it will mess it all up again. last time we stayed at mil and she had screaming colic---she never never has it at home.

OP posts:
colditz · 11/09/2006 23:31

I swore ds1 would be an only child but honestly, when they start to walk, and talk, and not want cuddles... you start wanting another baby. That's why 2 or 3 year age gaps are so common. Not because everyone wants that gap, because that is when mummy starts to feel broody, and has forgotten that pain.

You do forget, I know it seems so unbelievable, but you do. The only recollection I have of ds1's labour is him lying between my legs while they rubbed him with towels. Everything else has blurred.

And your second baby is nothiing like such a big shock, anyway.

colditz · 11/09/2006 23:33

The do hate it when their routine gets messed up, don't they?! Just don't go if it is easier not to, make people come to see you. Ds2 kicks off if there is someone unfamilier in the room when he has his bedtime feed. He won't drink it until they stop talking, no joke!

Original poster
Jaffacake1 · 11/09/2006 23:40

did you breast feed any? I am with dd. agony at first then has become better. Absolutely huge demands are made on a new mum's body!

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colditz · 11/09/2006 23:48

No, have never been able to as was put on some hefty tablets just before ds2 was born. I asked the midwife if I could breastfeed, she said no. Asked her to check with the doctor, he said no. Finally asked them to ring the company that makes the tablets - guess what? They said no too! Not the end of the world, but I was sad about it.

I didn't breastfeed ds1 because I just got it into my head that I wouldn't be able to do it, and it wasn't fair on him to give him breastmilk if he couldn't always have it. Wish I had known then what I know now. Lol, every time I get up in the night to make a bottle, I look at my boobs, and think "God, if only, I wouldn't have had to get out of bed!"

Original poster
Jaffacake1 · 11/09/2006 23:51

that is the one benefit. down side is doing it in fron of any men esp. male family members!! I slink off into another room and they all look shifty and clear their throats!!!
I'm off to bed now
xx

OP posts:
colditz · 11/09/2006 23:51

night x

Quootiepie · 11/09/2006 23:51

just popped in to say Ive only just managed it and DS is 5 1/2 months, and I had a ventouse and episiotomy. Sex has always been sore, but I could tell my stiches were ok... but I wouldnt have tried it even after 4 1/2 months! Doc told me to get some KY jelly, but I just errr... made DH take his time

kittywits · 12/09/2006 07:09

Jaffa no two birth experiences are the same. Anyway it's only wih the last baby that I thought almost immdiately that I could do it all again. With the others it was "no" and look at me I've got millions of them .
If, as time goes on you still feel uncomfortable then make a real nuisance of yourself at the drs and insist that someone have a look. Not very dignified, but it could be that you have been stitched badly. I think the dr isn't showing much interest at the mo 'cos it's still so soon and it's very likely that things bwill be sore.
When you talk about your weeing bits hurting could it not be skin that is still unhealed stinging when you wee?
After my births I used to tip myself forward slightly so that the wee didn't run back onto the wounds. Try that and see if it makes any difference. If it does then it's probably healing skin. If not and you're worried go and be pushy' till you get a referal.

PurplemonkeyBritishnessQueen · 12/09/2006 07:47

we're nearly a year in and have only managed it once cause of the pain
But from what I hear most pain does go away eventually.

Original poster
Jaffacake1 · 15/09/2006 11:09

who needs sex anyroad.

the moses basket is in our room, so it would be improper anyway!!

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