Is it possible that these are early symptoms of dementia?

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My FIL is having problems with MIL. He says it's impossible to talk to her about anything, as she completely refuses to see anyone's point of view except her own. He says he can't live like this any longer. They've been married for 49 years and are both in their 70s.

I do recognise what FIL is saying - I find my MIL difficult too. I'm just wondering if there could be a reason for her behaviour, as she is definitely worse than she used to be.

Can stubbornness and lack of empathy be an early sign of dementia? I haven't noticed any more classic symptoms (eg memory loss).

It can be a very early sign of dementia, but it can also just be part of ageing when people lose what I think of as 'flexibility of thought' where they can't deal with change or things that are different - but especially looking at things from another pov.

I think its just the general cantankerous ness of old age tbh. Unless it is a stark personality change

Thanks CMOT, that's interesting.

Whether it's dementia or just ageing, do you think it is within my MIL's control?

My FIL is talking about going to marriage guidance counselling (although MIL won't agree). But my thought is that maybe counselling won't help, if MIL isn't in control of these mental changes. What's your opinion?

Unusual anger and being very stuck In their ways can be a signs of dementia. If it is dementia then it's not going to be within her control. Have you suggested this to FIL? He might not have thought of it.

Can someone else talk to her and see if they can get through to her? What about your DH - would she listen to him? Then after that, you could decide whether it is within her power to change, or listen, or if in fact it's obvious that she's not in control of these thoughts.

Misspilly - not anger, no, but a complete refusal to admit that she is in the wrong about anything. However minor.

Miranda - good idea for DH to try and talk to her.

Latest development is that FIL wrote her a letter and put some of this in words - how he feels unable to talk to her about anything. He suggested counselling and said how important it is - to him and for their marriage - that things improve. He gave her the letter earlier today.

Apparently her reaction since reading the letter a couple of hours ago has been to watch the tennis (she's not usually a big TV watcher) and not say a word to him.

That's not normal, is it? I'm now thinking more along the lines of depression than dementia??

my nanny has the late stages of dementia and this is how hers started. she has always been a strong minded person but she would argue black is white and was horrible to everyone, really hurtful and refused to see us for a time. looking back she was beginning to not make sense of the world anymore. it scared her, she watched her own mother die with dementia
as the disease progressed she mellowed alot. it is only looking back that we can see that was the start of it, at the time we thought she was just being an old bag.