Terrified of HIV test, can't stop crying

[Sosososcared]

I think my ex boyfriend may have cheated on me in a country with a very high HIV rate.

Getting tested tomorrow. It's a rapid one so I'll find out straight away.

Really really scared. What if I've passed it on to my new boyfriend?

There's no point carrying on if it's positive. I'll have nothing, no one will ever love me. I feel dreadful. I'm in bed, I can't move, I'm shaking.

I'd really appreciate some hand holding.

Now then come on

You've done really well to get the test arranged. Assuming you weren't having anal sex or sharing needles with your ex then there is only a low chance of transmission and in any case you don't know if he cheated, if he used a condom, if he has contracted HIV. Even if you have then there's a very low chance you would transmit it to your partner.

In any case HIV is treatable. It's a world away from the terrifying AIDS ads of the 80s. Patients who are HIV + receiving treatment under a fantastic system like the NHS live good, LONG, lives.

I do sympathise with your fears right now but what ever happens tomorrow you will be helped and supported and there is not as much to be afraid of as you think there is.

Hopefully it will be ok. I recently met a Doctor specialising in HIV and sexually transmitted disease. He was very interesting, said HIV is not a 'death sentence' the advances in understanding and treating it are unparalleled in medicine. My sister works with people who are HIV positive and says on the whole it is manageable with medication, she knows women who have gone on to have children who are not HIV positive.

I hope it goes well tomorrow.

I didn't want to read and run.

Sorry for the dreadful time you are having. Whatever the outcome there is a way forward. I work within a hospital setting and can honestly say HIV is not the life sentence it once was.. The stigma attached is reducing daily and the treatments are much more effective than 20 years ago. Most people now live with HIV rather than it controlling them iyswim.

That's an important point about having children. Mothers who are HIV + are now having children who are not HIV+. I've just been reading about that and if your viral load is undetectable then the chance is under 1%.

You might not have it yet.

Hope it goes OK.

Just here to say like the PP that unless you were me gagging in risky practices like needle sharing the chances of you having it even if he does are really slim and the chances of him having it are really slim too. Thinking of you as I had a dodgy ex who slept around and was t fussy about condoms or anything but I've been fine. Chin up and good luck.

Thank you all. No dodgy practices thankfully. I just need someone to tell me I don't have it, I know I can't guarantee that but I feel sick at the thought of the test.

Top Drs now say they would rather have HIV than say Hep C.
Lots of money has been pumped in and there are good effective drugs available.
Hopefully none of this will matter as hopefully it will be negative.
But HIV does not mean a death sentence.
Thoughts with you.

Deep breath and an un mumsnetty hug.

It's very likely to be negative.

If it's positive then as the poster above said HIV isn't a death sentence. If you talk to Drs in HIV medicine they are ranking it almost with diabetes as a disease that can be controlled well and you can lead a normal life. I know people with HIV. You wouldn't know unless they told you, they are normal people, they do normal things like look after families and go to work- yeah OK they take pills every day but that's hardly a problem or something unusual.

Your life is not over, what ever the outcome .

Good luck today. I'm sure you will be fine.

Good luck today

chances are you've had the test by now, but even if you haven't, its probably worth knowing that a study in the last few years showed that if you are diagnosed with HIV when you are 30, you can expect to live until 75 years of age.

HIV infection is not the age-limiting infection it once was - quite amazing really, given how it was being pitched as the end of the world just a couple of decades ago.

and this is really the very worst case scenario...

• you say your ex "may" have cheated on you. perhaps he did, perhaps he didn't

• even if he did, it may have been with someone with HIV, but probably wasn't

• even if it was with someone with HIV, he may have used protection

• even it was without protection, then he wont automatically have become infected himself (the incidence of transmission from a woman to a man during unprotected vaginal intercourse is 0.04% per sexual act)

• and even if he did become infected, he won't necessarily have infected you (the incidence of transmission from a man to a woman during unprotected vaginal intercourse is 0.08% per sexual act).

basically, it all boils down to a very low probability of something to be concerned about, and even in the very worst case scenario, as mentioned above, the prognosis for HIV sufferers these days is really quite amazing, and practically normal life expectancy.

good luck, try to stay calm, and hopefully you are reading this after already receiving good news

Fingers crossed for you

Thinking of you OP x

God thank you all so much. You're such a life line.

Just waiting in the clinic now.

Good luck. I remember waiting for results from a sexual health/HIV test a few years back - not nice. Sure you will be fine, but good luck anyway.

Good luck.

good luck OP, no matter how bad it feels to go through the testing, you are doing the right thing, knowlege is power in this situation

NEGATIVE!!

So relieved, thank you all so much!!

Fantastic news, now breath

Oh good so happy for you

Learnt a lot from this thread so thanks for posting OP. I too was scared of catching something like this

Brilliant

Yaaaaaaay!! What did we tell you?!!