Should I complain?

[ImASillyBilly]

Hi,

I made several posts in the past since having my daughter last September about the ongoing pain I have had when passing BM's. My labour went smoothly until the end, after 23 hours, her heart beat was slowing so it was a quick episiotomy and forceps delivery. All stitched up but I was in excruciating pain ever since.

The midwives and HVs all said it could just be bruising / swelling and it was to be expected. However, I was back and fore to the doctors for months before I was finally seen in April by a consultant specialising in the back passage. Today, I was put under general anaesthetic so he could have look around with cameras as I am far too sore even with morphine to be examined when awake. His findings were I have fissures which is the result of my anus (sorry TMI) being so narrow, which could be the result of being stitched up too tightly after giving birth.

I have been given botox injections (anyone had experience of this?) to try and relax the muscle and hopefully aid the healing process of the fissures. However, if in 6 weeks this hasnt helped, the option will be to cut and re-do the episiotomy scar and there is the possibility I have damaged nerves.

Have they been negiligent in my care or is this something you just have to accept can happen after a forceps delivery? I am not in any way looking for compensation, but I feel the care I have had isn't really acceptable. Waiting 9 months just to be seen at this stage is so long. I dont want to have sex, I am in agony every day going to the toilet, it has really affected me emotionally and physically. I am under 30 and this was my first child but has put me off ever having more, even though I could opt for an elective C-Section, the excitement and joy I had anticipated when having my baby, hasnt been the same as I feel it would have had everything gone smoothly.

If by me complaining will prevent one woman feeling the way I have (which has been a factor in my PND) then I feel it would be beneficial. There was a medical student in with me at the time who "finished up" the stitches whilst being guided by the consultant. Im not sure in any way if that was a factor and I understand they need to train, but I am so tired of the constant agony and just want to be "normal" again :(

What would you do? Any experiences similar? Who do I complain to if I do? When do I do it? After the 6 week consultation?

All advice appreciated.

I'm sorry you have has such a difficult time. It sounds very painful and frustrating that it has taken you so long to get to this point. Let's hope the Botox works. If the stitching does need to be redone it will be sore but nothing like you are just after a baby has been dragged out with forceps!

Since you aren't looking for compensation and that would be very difficult to prove anyway after an emergency forceps delivery, I would think about writing to the Head of Midwifery and request a debrief. Maternity units usually have a senior midwife who will sit down with you and go through your notes and answer any questions. Unfortunately this will only deal with the actual delivery and immediate postnatal period.

It sounds as if you are actually more annoyed about the length of time it's taken to get an actual diagnosis and that's a bit more tricky because sadly the nhs moves very slowly and I'm guessing you've had a few different appointments to get to where you are now. Maybe a chat with your GP might help. Mainly let's hope you are soon restored to a comfortable bottom.

Hello, I had a very difficult forcep delivery 18 years ago and I would certainly have benefited from the debriefing Matilda mentioned. I would look into that, I think it would help.
Btw, I went on to have 3 more dc, 1 normal vaginal delivery, the other 2 c sections. Time is a healer and memories fade. Good luck with getting your bum sorted, I had 1 fissure and it was agony.

Thanks for your replies. I will look into a debrief. I understand things can go wrong I just feel so angry that I have had to put up with this for 9 months already and can't see things getting better yet or if I will ever feel back to normal.

sorry to hear you had problems too. It really is such a horrible place to have constant pain. as for fissures, the agony from them is unbelievable!