I have upset and scared dc

[wotoodoo]

I have had severe painless bloating in my stomach for over 6 months and did not want to cause a fuss: changed diet to remove gluten etc and no difference, no bowel changes etc.

However I did feel a lump in my stomach so saw the dr and have a fasting bloodtest this week plus ultrasound booked.

He thought lump was small cyst. Have been feeling v tired (am on 100g levothyroxine as low thyroid for many years but think that is under control now.

I have had endless people to stay, endless dc parties, endless laundry, 4 dc, plus extras: friends of dc regularly stay over in week and weekends, am working part time, have small farm etc.

Dc and dh complain I have been too lazy to cook lately. When dc also told this to a df I felt hurt, I don't mean to be so tired but they are at an age they can make basic meals and so I have been helping and encouraging them to do so(they are v good).

I told df about my symptoms (she is a dr) in front of my dc and they are now distraught. I should not have worried them but I was so sick of them complaining about me.

Eldest dd came in to my room later when I was asleep and told me off for worrying her (has an exam today). I told her that it wouldn't matter if I was around or not.

I regret all I said now now and cannot sleep, how do I make it up to them for worrying them?

I think they needed to know. You're not a robot and have things going on too. Talk to them properly tomorrow, explain you're not just there to pick up for them, say you need them to support themselves in the house, and yes, you are feeling ill, but will get looked at and will keep them in the loop.

I don't think you do need to 'make it up to them'. Your dd 'told you off' for worrying her?! What a nerve! Perhaps now they'll realise you are a person with needs, not just there to serve them. I'd be wanting an apology from them not the other way round. Good luck with your tests.

It's an extremely important life lesson for them to discover that you're not just their charlady, but a person in your own right. Sometimes they need a bit of a shock and the fact your DD is angry with you implies it's a lesson she in particular needs to learn!

I would like to second what pp have said. Even without taking your health problems into account I have to say your family's attitude towards you sounds a bit unhealthy (for them longer term as well as you). The fact is you are struggling to domestically 'service' everyone in the family and that combined with whatever is going on health wise needs addressing.

Stand firm OP, be firm and make it clear that whilst it is unfortunate they are now feeling anxious about you, you cannot protect them from the fact that you yourself need extra consideration and, in fact, support and care yourself at this time.

She woke you up?!! Is she five years old? If not she is totally out of order. As above, they need to consider someone else ie you and get real.

Families help each other, not one serving the others. Calling you lazy when unwell is also out of order. Go on strike and get yourself some medical care.

Do hope you get sorted and feel better soon. And make some long lasting changes that create a little more balance within your home.

Thank you all. Dc remorseful, taking turns to make dinner for the family, tidy etc, big hugs all round.

Having pressure on me reduced is liberating and lessening the anxiety.