Your experience of long term depression please

[pupuce]

I was inspired buy a post from VeniVidiVickiQV on another thread about missunderstanding depression.... I could use some help and wonder what your take is on the following.

My dad (67yo) was left by mother some 12 years ago.... they got back together for a little while but they are now completely apart and have not spoken for 7 years or so.
When my mum left my dad went into shock and the IMO depression set in. According to my mum he had tendencies for that before BUT nothing like now...
He is now living in a care home after we begged him to do this as living on his own in a council flat (not in this country) he would not feed himself a varied diet (ate fish fingers ONLY for months), would drink copious amounts of booze, not wash etc.
(He lost ALL and I mean ALL his money - hence the council flat and now the state care home which is horrible)

He has always refused to see a shrink for talking, he did go for a short while into group therapy but hated it.. "as they are all boring and he can't stand it"... He has been on many different AD. He has anxiety attacs which I don't think have ever been genuinely better with AD though I find him better sometimes... but never great... He still drinks... nowadays "he says very little alcohol"... 6 beers per day only and occasionally a bottle of wine on top!!!!!! (I would dispute the word occasionally as if I call past 7PM he is drunk).

Not sure what to think/do... I have given him and still do money. I don't call him as often as I use to as the conversation are arduous... he is depressed, what do I expect. He hates my mother with a vengence and keeps talking about how life use to be (we were well off but he lost all his money by unfortunate business problems... and no pension provision)... i could go on but wondered what those who have a relative suffer from depression can suggest.

Thank you for reading this long ramble !

You poor thing. I feel really sorry for your dad, especially as he is in a care home at only aged 67, wow, that is young.

It sounds like your father's problems started with his business problems/money loss etc. My Dad suffered with depression when he retired. He wasn't ready to retire but had to as company was closing down. It can be hard to go from working all your life to doing nothing.

Your dad needs to talk to someone about how he feels. I know he won't see a shrink, but couldn't he just go to his GP who could hopefully point him in the right direction. Is he still on AD's?? And if so, does he take them regularly?

I'm sorry, I don't know what else to say. I haven't been much help have I. Maybe someone else can be more helpful. He is lucky to have a daughter like u who cares so much.

I meant to say, have you posted on 'feeling depressed'? The girls on there know their stuff. Some of them have suffered long term depression.

Thanks Alexa