Bit morbid I know, but has having kids make you fear your own death??

[scotchick]

I feel like I'm totally paranoid about it. Every ache and pain I get I think the worst, and the reason is quite simply the idea of my snuffing it is the worst thing I can think of for my children, who - let's face it - think I'm the beez neez.

Does anyone else feel like this? I feel like I hear stories all the time of people dying who are in their 30s and 40s and I always think - those poor children, crying for their mum! Sorry, so morbid.

The Caron Keating story is a good example. Imagine having to tell her kids she wouldn't be around much longer?

Please tell me I'm not alone in this!!

T

no, icant bear to think about it. i know my dh might not be about to see the kids grow up, i dont need to think about my own mortality.

Really, sorry, my thread might have appeared a bit flippant, misdee. Sorry.

Yes. A friend of our died recently. I have worried about what would happen to dc if I was'nt there. I couldn't tell my kids I was going 'away'. It would break my heart. But I would also want to tell them so much before I did go.

Oh I'm going back to the positive thread. I've had a glass of wine while cooking and now I'm feeling rather down.

Yes, I worry. Especially as DH and I are both only children. And because my own father died when I was in my teens and I know how hard it is.

I try not to dwell on it though and try to take more care of myself.

not flippant, just not something i can face.

should really get guardians etc sorted for the kids.

no i fear death too, well i fear leaving my children

yes totally paranoid, can't bear it

I dont worry necessarily but i do sometimes think about what would happen if i did die.
im single, DS has ASD and to be honest i cannot think of anyone i would be happy leaving him with.

DD would be fine and there would be people queing to take her, but with Ds its different. I honestly don't think i can trust anyone with him for any length of time.

Its for that reaso only that i do have the odd concern.

You're not alone. I used to worry excessively about this, I was absolutely convinced I was going to die soon (before ds was six was my theory, he's 8 now so at least that bit of superstitious nonsense is over!) BUT, I was mildly depressed at the time. Having ds was the first time I'd really thought about my own mortality really, I was 30.

I'm definitely not depressed now and I still sometimes worry that xyx ache is actually cancer/something I'm going to die from but on the whole I try not to worry about it. Not always successfully, I do sometimes say to dh 'you don't think this thing on my toe is Lime Disease (well, you know, whatever!) do you' and he re assures me. Caron Keating was terribly sad, I know, she was only 41. I googled an old colleague yesterday to find that his wife died of breast cancer in 2004 at my age now (39) and it made me cry because he had a 2 yo when I was pregnant with ds, so that makes their oldest child 11 or 12 and the other younger, which must be so sad.

I think all we can do is be as healthy as possible, which I don't always manage and hope that we are around to see them grow up.

oh www, your post is so touching. I just think as weget older we see our generation die and if you have lost someone close and young, god it does hammer it home. Life is fragile. My counsellor even said, well you could drive hiome and be involved in a car crash (god how morbid). But the point is life is here for living and we have to get on with and enjoy it as much as possible

thank god it's not just me then! At times, thoughts like these lead to panic attacks im my case.

it's not usually something I think about too much, but last yr I had a couple of health scares (in quick sucession) and I fell to pieces somewhat. I'm fine now though

try Kalms Mercy they do actually work but i use 3 in a morning instead of 2

Yes I do, I wonder how ds would be without one of us. Especially as dp's dad died of cancer when he was just 8 years old, and it really affected him quite bably. Even now as an adult.

I have this too.
We had real trouble deciding on our will who would take custody of the children if anything should happen to us.
We decided on their godparents, who are in a great marriage with one baby of their own, and are fantastic parents.

Either way we want to keep them away from my MIL so we had to get it sorted 'just in case'.

I fear having a child die even more though.

Ok, thanks for that - will give them a go.

Actually, they have mostly gone since I went on medication for high BP but have returned this week.

(Sorry scotchick)

I think everyone fears a child dying more doesnt bear thinking of

I'm the same - thinking every little ache or pain could be life-threatening. Breaks my heart to think of me leaving the dds behind - I think I'm scared that they would forget me, forget how much I love them etc. I also get panic attacks thinking about it. It's very reassuring to know that others feel the same way - I don't feel so paranoid now!

Sometimes I just think I'm neurotic, but my two are so mummy dependent for everything, the idea of them crying for me and I'm not there!!!! Sorry, maybe we should end this thread, let's go to the BJ one!

I came out in a meningitis type rash soon after DD's birth and convinced myself I had post partum septecemia, I was literally shaking the whole time in A&E and caused myself to hyperventilate, very scary!
It turned out to be ecxema, thank goodness.