hes had problems with his prostate for ages.He went for more tests the other day at the hospital and the consultant said there was a large hard lump and referred him for a biopsy.I havent even spoke to him yet as ive just come back from holiday and so heard the news from my brother. I feel sick to my stomach with fear that i may lose my dad. Weve had alot of deaths and cancer in the family these last few years. All my grandparents have gone and slowly my mum and dads generation are being diagnosed with various illnesses.My auntie by marriage has lung cancer and is only 52 years old.
I dont know how to deal with these situations. My grandad was ill for months and months and they thought it was an enlarged prostate then he was finally diagnosed with lung cancer i couldnt visit him. I couldnt go thinking this may be the last time i may see him and seeing him decline so rapidly. I couldnt even ask how he was or talk about him. And when he did pass away i didnt shed a tear to my mum. It wasnt until his furneral that i broke down completely in front of everyone.
And now having been told the news i just dismissed it to my brother as if it meant nothing. Havent even mentioned it to dh. Part of me is in denial and part of me fears the worst. But i cant show what im feeling. I dont even know if i can talk to my dad all see him. How bad am i?