Got myself in a right state worrying about cancer

[Le1890]

I will start off by saying I suffer from major anxiety just to set the scene.

So for as long as I can remember when I'm feeling particularly anxious my stomach churns and I have dirreah(all my life really). So just over a year ago I noticed that in the morning I was going to the loo and my stool was quite loose. Tmi but porridge like. But I would have been lying in my bed for say 30 minutes before hand worrying myself witless with anxiety stuff, so I didn't think much of it. I also started eating healthy but noticed salad stuff gave me an upset tummy. I mentioned to my doctor and she said I likely had ibs. Now I'm going between diareah and constipation and I've noticed tiny bits of mucus.

I've had so many blood tests etc and everything always fine. I suffer from acid relflux too. Anyway to cut a long story short she did a test on my stool that checks of inflammation. It's used to separate ibs patients from ibd (crohns etc). She called me Friday to tell me it's come back high. She was gobsmacked and she genuinely thought ibs. I've been referred for colonoscopy.

Now where my fear is is that I don't fit the symptoms for crohns or ulcerative colitis because I only need the toilet once per day. I don't have the urgency. I've read this test can also be high in colon cancer too and now I'm totally scared. I can't stop crying with fear.

The only other thing I did read in some studies but then not in others is that there is a risk of false positives if the person uses PPI's which I do for the acid reflux I use omeprazole. I feel with my symptoms it's a long chalk of it being inaccurate.

I'm so scared.

Ok, don't panic. I know that's easy for me to say, but I'm an anxiety sufferer too, so I think I know how you feel. I've diagnosed myself with so many terminal illnesses over the years.

Cancer is the worst case scenario, absolute worst case. There are many other explanations. And even if it was cancer, which it is most likely not, then you will get treatment, it's not death sentence.

But honestly, if this has been going on for a while you would most likely be very very ill indeed by now if you had cancer. Please try not to panic.

I've had every test under the sun over the past 4 years from abdominal MRI scans, multiple ultrasounds, bloods galore, throat scopes, chest X-rays etc etc. I even had an ultrasound last week checking my bladder, kidneys, ovaries and uterus because I feel I can't empty my bladder sometimes. All was normal and showed I was completely emptying my bladder. the only thing I've never had is an endoscopy and a colonoscopy.

I wouldn't be worrying if the gp had not done this test and it has come back showing inflammation. I did however just read about someone who had same symptoms over 4 years and his came back with some sort of inflamed lining which is caused by overuse of ibruprofen. I have a sensitivity to this and it caused me to have a stomach ulcer a long time ago so I do not take them. But after I gave birth a year ago I had a 3rd degree tear and infected abscess. I had to take the ibruprofen I was in so much pain. This went on for a couple of months until I got another surgery to sort it. I know I'm clinging at straws here tying to self diagnose which is silly i know.

But I'm just terrified. I spent the whole day in my bed yesterday crying constantly(children staying with gran from night). I can't eat with worry and I can hardly sleep.

no, honestly, I'm not trying to belittle your feelings, I do understand that sick feeling of dread, that utter doom feeling.

Realistically with all those tests, something would probably show up if there were anything sinister. But then you know that, don't you? That's the thing about anxiety, no amount of reassurance is enough.

Are you getting any treatment for he actual anxiety?

I know how you feel. I am going through similar fears at the moment. But realistically, if nothing showed up with all those differernt tests you had over the YEARS, I honestly believe there cannot be cancer hiding somewhere. It would be a totally different thing if you hadn't been checked at all during that time.
When will you have colonoscopy? Hopefully you will not have to wait too long as the waiting is actually the worst bit.

Hi Bubbamarra

What symptoms are you having at the moment?

I've not eaten all day yesterday as I felt so stressed. I've just eaten two hotdogs and some tomato sauce and I've got a cramps feeling now in my right side. I can't figure out of its above or below the bellybutton area.

Well my gp said she had referred me urgently. I asked of ot is because she is worried and she said it not it's just because she knows I'm a nervous wreck when I have to get tests.