is this anxiety?

[ALovelyBunch0fCoconuts]

I have a constant feeling of shakiness in my stomach and a constant lump in my throat. feel like I'm going to vomit a lot of the time but nothing happens. keep crying. ive got no energy to do anything. im fine if I go to work or out but as soon as I come home it starts again. im not sleeping properly but im so tired and im not eating properly due to the constant lump in my throat.

please help me

he thinks im anxious because of the driving. hes oblivious that im not happy. itll break his heart.

Ive spent so long worrying about other people's feelings that I'm not sure how far down the pile mine feature any more. if im honest and we split based on just my feelings then its not just my life that changes. we have 2 dc.

It is anxiety.

You are not going mad.

Nothing will happen because of anxiety. Nothing will happen if you have a panic attack. You are safe. You will just have some unpleasant thoughts, that's all it is xx

Distraction obviously works for you, so distract yourself when at home as much as possible. Housework, read books.

I'd get some counselling if possible, it helped me.

I feel like im going mad. ive been crying since 0630. im going to work in an hour need to snap out of it. and ive lost half a stone this week

Putting pressure on yourself to be ok for work will make it worse. You will be ok once there and distracted. Acute anxiety is horrible but this will pass.

Anxiety is horrible. I have suffered a number of times and it really can be crippling.

I do think that in your case you already know the root cause of at least a substantial part of your anxiety and you aren't really going to feel better until you address the issue. For me periods of severe anxiety have always ended up with me having to evaluate my life and make some really hard decisions. It is tough, I know, but you will feel better once you have begun the process and can start moving towards a solution.

You say your dh isn't abusive and is basically a nice person so the kindest thing you can do for both of you is be honest about how you are feeling. You may be surprised by him and things may not end how you expect. Even if it does end in a split the sooner you deal with this the better for everyone.

Alongside that you don't have to go for ADs and there are lots of other things you can try first. Counselling may be very helpful for you, it didn't suit me though I tried it a number of times, but I found really focusing on eating well and taking up meditation made a big difference. Not everybody's cup of tea but may be worth a try.

Above all be kind to yourself. :)

I'm so sorry you're feeling so awful. If interested in CBT but unable to wait 18 months, you could always try reading, "Mind Over Mood," by Greenberger and Padesky (you can get it on Amazon, or in most bookshops), which shows you how to use CBT.

I presume the only problem with your relationship is not your dh's apparent inability to comprehend your feelings, as you do admit that you put on a mask and have an unfair reputation in the family for being a bit cold hearted and unsympathetic, which kind of implies that you haven't really given him (or others) much of a chance to comprehend your feelings and quite how strongly they are felt. If the failure to comprehend the "real you" led to the spark dying out, that's a huge shame. Given that your dh is "lovely" and you have two children with him, I think it really would be worth thinking very seriously about marriage guidance counselling, rather than just treating the anxiety and otherwise keeping quiet, or doing the dramatic and final action of leaving altogether. You do need to work out whether the temptation just to give up on the relationship and get away from him is caused by your anxiety, or whether your anxiety is caused by incurable problems in your relationship, and when highly anxious, you're extremely unlikely to be able to tell the difference, leading to the possibility you make decision you later regret.

ive been totally open and honest about my feelings and I feel a bit better already. ive managed to eat today.

there are lots of little on going problems. I love him but like a friend or as the father of the kids. I dont feel a connection at all anymore. weve grown apart completely.

realising my own feelings (which I never do) has obviously led to this bout of anxiety which I haveny suffered with for ten years whem I last left a relationship.

There's a CBT self-help course, free, here: www.getselfhelp.co.uk/cbtstep1.htm