patient modesty !

[connieconflicted]

Husband was in for a day treatment urological examination. Cutting long story short, he had his gown pulled up before the doctor came and so was revealed on the table in the bare from shoulders down. All the staff saw- males & females. He says he didn’t care - although about half the staff were women- they'd probably seen it all before, he says,etc etc.
But I think he probably found it embarrassing. And to be honest I’m not totally unhappy because he’s a bit of a male chauvinist. Our coffee morning agreed that it couldn’t have happened to a better person!
But seriously, is this usual or do we have a sloppy hospital? ? . Should men be draped or screened so that they are decently covered ? Or Is that just a waste of scarce NHS time & money ? And what about us ladies- do we get shown and examined in the bare like this ? About half the staff were women so you see the other half would be males !

Anybody - or other halves- met this situation before ? Must be frequent . Thanks.

I was once wheeled around a hospital, from department to department. It was very hot and I had thrown the sheets/blankets aside. I was very heavily sedated and had my eyes closed half the time anyway, but while going up and down the corridors a nurse suggested it might be courteous to put the sheet back. I hadn't actually thought about it.

If conscious and alert, I think I would object if anyone stripped me naked in a room full of people while waiting for an examination. I'm not particularly concerned about being up on the ramps during the MoT.

How long was he like that for? Was it just a few moments as the dr arrived or longer?

I had a HSG a couple of years ago -three people in the room and two were male. I was up in stirrups with my bits out for ages while they fiddled around setting up. And then the fire alarm went off. For IVF, you are on the table with the gown round your waist, in stirrups and cranked open for everyone in the room to see. I think patient modesty and dignity is important but if you are going to get your bits out for a procedure, I'm not sure that having them out for a minute longer than is strictly necessary is a problem (but I would object if I was I left like that for ages).

I had a small 'procedure' a couple of weeks ago. Since I had to sit around from 7am til nearly noon, I had left my underwear on under my hospital gown. They wheeled me into the anaesthetic room and started to remove my underwear. I had to ask them to shut the double doors to the corridor first.

It's sloppy practice. It may just be a small thing, but it's important to patient dignity.

Oh all through the procedure - maybe 15-20 mins. The doctor obviously wasn't bothered. I think that patient concerns don't rank very high with medics. They just want to do the job; and hubbie did say the urologist was very competent.

I really feel for your husband. I had vulvar surgery at 21 and was asked to crawl down a surgical trolley into right position with no underwear on, only a gown, during a heavy period. There were students, nurses and several doctors involved because it was all a bit complex. I spent I think two hours with legs in stirrups, sedated.

When I came round every so often - as the sedation kept dropping - the number of people in the room kept changing and most of them never introduced themselves, even those at the business end. I was wheeled out with no blanket, hand on my fanjo holding a pad on. Everyone on my ward knew what was wrong - because I had no buzzer, and I had to shout to nurses that I was sore, needing bedpan, or bleeding etc.

I felt as if my brain had detached and was watching someone else. Felt they were looking after my body and not me, iyswim. I didn't want to be involved at all.

I have never gotten over it. Have all sorts of problems and probably will end up back in therapy at some stage.

Two years later I was required to undergo very similar. I was sobbing at the thought. I was shocked when the nurses and anaesthetist let me keep a blanket, and locked the door, and introduced me to all the staff. At no time did they force me to sit in that state for longer than I needed. I was so overwhelmed that I ended giving the anaesthetist and surgeon hugs afterwards.

I still feel shocked when in hospital and given blankets, etc and helped to cover up. In A&E in January, when I ended up with severe thrush, the doctor and nurse helped me cover myself and I was crying with relief.

I'm currently applying for NA and HCA jobs and the biggest thing for me - dignity. If a patient doesn't need to be nude, don't have them nude. If there's a blanket, use it. Say hello to the patient, tell them who you are. I had to let all sorts of people - male and female - gawp at me (students certainly were) and had no idea who they were or what their role was. Don't shout to the ward what you're doing or what's wrong with the patient, unless it's a dire emergency. Simple things that can make all the difference. I don't remember the names of the nurses who looked after me the second time but I knew them when I needed to iyswim, and felt so much better.

There's a head and a mind attached to the body, that will know, feel and usually remember. It makes a huge difference feeling secure and fully cared for.

Thank you, shouldnthavesaid, for your lovely honest comments.( hope i dont post this 3 times like the last attempt). I am so glad that your further experiences were much better than the first. The anonymity of health staff is a big problem and the lack of any explanation for being exposed certainly upset husband I think.As you say,it's not just the body that needs care - the head & heart are too easily overlooked. Hubbie is doing the big brave boy thing but I think he feels he was disgraced.

I had to go to surgery for a third degree tear repair after giving birth. I was legs akimbo, in stirrups, with an epidural so I was completely awake.

Think I counted eight people in theatre. It certainly wasn't my most dignified hour, but I rather suspect all the people in there didn't give a toss, therefore neither should I!

However, I do think issues like courtesy, dignity (well, treating patients as if they are human beings) is one of the major failures of the NHS, or perhaps hospitals in general, I have no experience of foreign hospitals. Staff are just too tired/overworked/whatever to really care for patients properly.

That's pretty awful and would be considered unacceptable for an anaesthetised patient, let alone one who is awake and aware of what is going on. Personally I think he should make a formal complaint regardless of whether he minded or not. If it's happening to him it will be happening to other patients who may be very upset by it, but won't know that it shouldn't be happening.

Not just the NHS. The hospital where I had my recent 'knickers off with the doors wide open' experience was a private one, albeit I was an NHS patient being treated there.

Pri

Oops.

I think it probably depends on the patient involved how they react. I was a very naive 20/21yr old, never had sex or anything even close. I'd seen a male doctor but only once - I didn't even have a dad at home so it was all very new territory. I don't think I ever considered the ins and outs of the surgery, so it was all a bit of a 'surprise'.

I understand now why they had so many staff - and I understand to some extent that there's really no way everyone on the day in every surgery could introduce themselves to the patient. But it's certainly something that when done helps a lot.

I was encouraged to write a letter - I never have, but apparently it can make a difference to how things are handled. As PPs have said, if it happened to him it will be happening to others, and it's such a simple thing.

Very easy to do the big boy thing lol - I did similar, wittered on in my mind about how grateful I should be for having the surgery and how I shouldn't feel upset - but at the end of the day, the staff do have a duty to support in maintaining dignity. Having your bits covered in a busy room when not necessary for them to be shown is a big part of that, and like I say I can understand why he'd feel miffed.

It's something that can happen more generally I think - simple things like having your smear and another nurse walking in, or having an examination when someone's knocking at the door, or having to have an intimate examination in A&E cubicle, or a bed pan not being covered when being carried to be emptied, etc..

I can't imagine how hard it must be for staff to try and cover all these things though (pun not intended).

I assume that husband's exposure is standard practice in that hospital at least. Maybe urology is particularly blatant in dealing with male nudity. It's fair to say that you can't insert a scope into a penis without quite obviously revealing and handling the said member.But of course you don't have to leave the rest of the body bare while you do.
You guys are right that we should tell the hospital but the man at the moment is sensitive about it all. I've been naughty too because I thought a bit of humility might not be bad for him - he can be irritatingly too macho- but the episode seems to have hit his dignity quite hard. Lots of strokes needed now I think.
Any experiences of similar treatment might help so do write if you know of such, and thank you for your support.

Priv

In labour I 'needed' an enema. It was during visiting and the MW just bullied me into it there and then. I was mortified as done behind curtain and in a loud voice! 'Just pull your knees up...now I'm just inserting it...clench your buttocks'. I should have said NO! But a long drawn out labour and was v dispondant by then. I couldn't look anyone in the eye after that. I am an x nurse so I should have been more assertive...

It doesnt sound very nice. Any time I've ever had a procedure that involves me being names below the waist the nurses have gone to great lengths to keep me covered as much as possible - sometimes I've found them over-modest but better than the other way round. I was very impressed in the delivery room with DD that everyone knocked before they entered, there was a curtain behind the door and everyone introduced themselves. I found it very reassuring and calming. Even in post natal everyone "knocked" on the curtains before coming in.

I was being induced with the cream, the doctor came in and said " Come on now you should be ready.Off the pants and open the legs". Didn't even tell me his name or introduce himself, didn't tell me what would happen. I was young, naive, he left the curtain open and I was in the bed nearest the door on the ward.
A male cleaner came in to clean up and I was just exposed. Once he had finished with the cream, he left, not a word and left me there.

It was violating and humiliating and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
I think its a bit shitty that you think this will take him down a peg or two. And then spoke about it at your coffee morning?

If he is a chauvinist, deal with that. Don't secretly be pleased when something unpleasant happens to him.

Hey GiveItaLash -Ok it is a bit shitty. I accept, but we are not all perfect. He can come on a bit much at times. Anyway I wasn't "secretly pleased"- first reaction I told him it served him right. I hadn't realized that he was upset so much. And he doesn't admit that yet either. We're talking more about it all and I'm working on a sort of cunning plan about dealing with the hospital.

(Re my coffee friends there's only four of us and we've been together for a long time, and don't have many secrets- about hubbies or anything else. And the subject is off bounds for the moment.)

I found your description , and others',incredibly awful. Makes you wonder how many other disgraceful things go on- appreciate your candour.

I had essure sterilisation on the nhs. There were about 3 consultants from other hospitals 'observing'. It was like a theatre!

That's why it's called the operating 'theatre', apparently: historically, surgeons would perform in front of audiences. Good ones would have large audiences, sometimes hundreds. I wonder whether the culture of that still lingers a bit...