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Original poster

The end of my tether

49 replies

hmb · 16/03/2004 21:38

I had a phone call today from the hosptal that my mother is being cared at. They wamt to know if we are prepared to up her morphine to control her pain, but it will shorten her life.

And then dh came home and he is to go to hospital tomorrow because his gp thinks that he has leukemia, a 'good' form, but still leukemia.

Please pray for us.

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Evita · 17/03/2004 08:50

hmb, your poor soul. It's going to take a lot of courage to stay strong through such traumatic events.

Re. your mom, I'd go with the morphine if I was you, if she's in later stages of dementia she won't really understand a lot of what's happening and far better for her to be pain free.

I hope your husband has good news today and that you find a few moments peace today for yourself.

Janstar · 17/03/2004 08:51

You make me feel so lucky. Please lean on us. Good wishes for today. xxx

M2T · 17/03/2004 08:59

Hugs HMB. Hope all goes as well as can be today....

lazyeye · 17/03/2004 09:02

All I can say is lots of love and hugs. Let us know how you get on - as someone else said, you have put a lot of things in perspective. Wishing you all the best.

Janh · 17/03/2004 09:13

hmb, I am so sorry about your dh - it's actually worse for the other half in a situation like this - the one affected takes a deep breath and gets on with it. (Esp when it's a man, you know what they're like about talking about Stuff.)

Sorry about your mum too - far too much to cope with all at once.

Hugs.

ks · 17/03/2004 09:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

misdee · 17/03/2004 09:19

Oh HMb i feel for you. I hope you dh gets good results today and it lifts some weight of your shoulders. In situations like this, i always feel i cant cope anymore and want it all to stop, but somehow manage to deal with another day and another blow.
Sorry to hear about your mum too. hugs and cyber thoughts are being sent your way.

CookieMonster · 17/03/2004 09:28

hmb, just wanted to add my hugs and best wishes to you and your dh ... hope today's results are positive. I know exactly what you mean when you say it's an easy decision about your Mum and yet it's not ... it's something I dread happening.
Thinking about you today ... CM x

Sonnet · 17/03/2004 09:33

What dreadful news - I do so hope that you hear better news today - my thoughts and prayers are with you all

Marina · 17/03/2004 10:43

Hmb, I'm so sorry to hear all this. Thinking of you at such a difficult time, please take some time off work. As a parent of a school-age child who knows a good teacher when she sees one, I'd fully understand your need to be out of the classroom. Hugs and best wishes.

Kayleigh · 17/03/2004 10:54

oh hmb, what a terrible time for you. Thinking of you and praying for good news for your dh.

WideWebWitch · 17/03/2004 12:05

Oh I'm so sorry hmb. I'm thinking of you too.

Original poster

hmb · 17/03/2004 12:43

I have just had a phone call and they have confirmed that he does have CLL. They have been quick to point out that it has been caught at an unusualy early stage, so that it could be years and years, possibly decades before he needs treatment. They will want to take regular blood samples to see how fast it is progressing, and that will give us a more accurate picture of how it will progress. He has to tell his family tonight, as they want to tissue type his brothers in case he needs a bone marrow transplant.

The doctor was positive, but it all seems so awful. I realise that things are as good as they can be under the circumstances, but it all seems so unfair.

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bundle · 17/03/2004 12:46

hmb, I'm sorry to hear about how rough things are for you at the moment. I know it's easy for me to say, but try thinking of dh's condition as a chronic thing like asthma, rather than something more scary. the doctors wouldn't be so reassuring unless they were confident. lots of hugs, x

Sonnet · 17/03/2004 12:49

oh Gosh hmb - I was so hoping - as you all were - it would be a false alamn.
I just don't know what to say I just don't understand how life can be so unfair...

I suppose that the positive side of this is the early stage it has been caught - and I will be hoping and praying for you all
With love and thoughts
Sonnet xxx

Batters · 17/03/2004 13:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Helsbels · 17/03/2004 13:31

Don't be too strong HMB, sometimes a good cry and rant about how unfair it all is makes you feel better. Try not to let it all go in front of dh for the time being but a good friend or sister or whatever could help. Take care of yourself - he will need you soon and you will need to be ready for that. Get it all out of your system so you can go in strong and clean. Your mum needs the relief at this stage so although it is a no win situation, at least she is not losing. Thinking of you - I'm sure you have the strength to come through this but please remember to be kind to yourself xx

Jimjams · 17/03/2004 13:40

so sorry hmb. It is important to get some support for yourself. When you feel up to it it's worth internet browsing for others in the same situation.

coppertop · 17/03/2004 15:22

So sorry it wasn't good news, hmb. Hugs. xxx

CountessDracula · 17/03/2004 15:24

HMB So sorry to hear about this, but thank goodness they caught it so early and can monitor. As you say he should be fine for a very long time yet.
xxxxxx

tamum · 17/03/2004 16:53

God, I'm so sorry, hmb, I only just saw all this. I can't begin to imagine how you must be feeling, even with a good prognosis like that. I don't pray very often, but I am now, believe me.

luckymum · 17/03/2004 17:45

Hmb, big hugs to you and your dh.

tigermoth · 17/03/2004 19:27

so sorry you have this news hanging over you hmb. I hope as time progresses, you can come to terms more about diagnosis. But it must be gut-wrenchingly awful to hear this news. Please take care of yourself and if that means missing school, then do it - as marina said, with a teacher like you, your pupils know you are not leaving them without a very good reason.

Original poster

hmb · 17/03/2004 20:38

The school are being very understanding, which is great. I have a good relationship with most of my classes, so they will know that I haven't dropped them for no reason. I'm having a bit of time off to come to terms with things. Teaching is quite emotional at the best of times, and I have to be in control before I go back into the class.

It could be that this thing will just 'be there' for years. I hope so....Life is just hard sometimes. With my Mother as well, things are hard to cope with. Mumsnetters are a Godsend.

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