Could this be prostate problems? DH Stop-start weeing and wetting the bed

[GladitsnotJustMe]

I'm worried about my DH.

When he wees, it never seems to come out in a steady stream, it is intermittent stop-start-stop-start. I've asked him if it's always like that, and he denies it and says it's like that because he's "forcing it out".

That doesn't sound normal to me.

Then today, I realised he had wet the bed. Not a lot, perhaps just a little leak while he was asleep. This isn't the first time this has happened.

I'm insisting he goes to the GP because I'm worried it may be a prostate problem. But he's embarrassed and doesn't want to go. He's 40, fit and healthy. Doesn't smoke and hardly drinks.

Any ideas what it could be?

Could be something as simple as a kidney infection which just needs antibiotics to clear?

I know its embarrassing, but you are right it does need checking.

Check asap. Cancer Research says symptoms of cancerous and non-cancerous prostate conditions are:

Having to rush to the toilet to pass urine
Passing urine more often than usual, especially at night
Difficulty passing urine, inc straining to pass it or stopping and starting
A sense of not being able to completely empty the bladder
Pain when passing urine
Blood in the urine or semen

(the last two are more typical of the non-cancerous conditions it says).

Speaking as the daughter of a sufferer, tell him to stop being a twat and go. No one's going to pat him on the back and say 'Well done for procrastinating, you're a proper bloke' if he's lived with an easily treatable condition needlessly for ages or worse, delayed beyond the point where something is treatable out of embarrassment.

Yeah, I've seen that list of symptoms and got worried.

I don't think he has pain, or urgency and doesn't go to the loo in the night.

He has had the stopping and starting for at least the last 3 years or so. I've asked him about it a few times and he always claims he's just doing it himself. It's not normal though is it?

The weeing the bed - it happened once a year or two ago, I found a stain and was puzzled. I think he must leak in his sleep.

He's going to the GP tomorrow anyway for a blood pressure checkup, but I think this may be with the nurse rather than the Doctor. I will keep on at him to make sure he gets this checked out.

My BIL had the stop start thing -it was a prostate problem - some sort of inflammation or enlargement of the prostate with him - not cancer. Definitely get it checked out, BIL's took a while to clear up, he had long term anti biotics and alpha blockers IIRC.

Needs to see the GP, it's not normal. I'm a fella and never had those issues, and I'm older than the OP's DH. Book him an appointment if he wont do it.

how long has this gone on for ?

Just spoken to DH - he is seeing the GP tomorrow, so I'm very relieved.

It's not normal is it? When you pee, it just comes out in one stream, not on-off-on-off.

I think the stop-start thing has been happening for as long as I've been aware, and I've been with him for 4 years. I've probably been aware of it for at least 2 years.

The wetting the bed - happened once a year or so ago, and happened for the second time last night.

Worried but glad he's going to the Docs. THanks everyone.

With jus age it's more likely to be a urethral structure (or narrowing ). His having to force to pass urine is a sign.
GP referral to a urologist is a must. Risk of retention of urine either acute or chronic or both has serious consequences for the upper urinary tract (ureters,kidneys)

Hi,

Glad he is going to the GP. I've just been through something similar with my Dad.

He was having problems with incontinence. And had blood tests done and examination booked. Examination with different Dr. We turned up and seems that prostate problems are more stop/start issues, so he was reluctant to do the examination.

Where as my Dad was suffering with a flooding. Which has since stopped since one of his other meds has been reduced (had a diuretic side effect)....

Only small the GP said but seems to have done the trick (touch wood).

Fingers crossed they get to the bottom of the prob for DH.

Glad they sorted out your DF Monster

Well DP saw the doctor yesterday and we're none the wiser really. The GP said he wasn't worried, but asked DP to keep a conscious note of his urine flow for the next few weeks.

He has high blood pressure, which I'm really surprised about - he's the healthiest man I know. But he suffers from a hell of a lot of stress, so that could be part of the problem there.

The Doc also commented that DP has been using a lot of steroid cream for his eczema lately, often around his groin area. Could this be an issue?? The cream really works, but perhaps we should be looking for alternatives.

I'm just worried, particularly as I know of a man who has recently been diagnosed with inoperable prostate cancer, he had no idea and then suddenly, he's got months to live.

It would be very very unusual for this to be the presenting symptom of advanced prostate cancer at 40. Does he have any male relatives affected at a young age? Or strong family history of breast cancer in female relatives at a young age? These would make it a little more likely but still rare

Did his GP do a rectal exam (to feel the prostate) and talk about checking a PSA blood test (prostate blood test)? If his prostate feels soft and small, and his PSA is low (prob under 2 at his age) then you can be as reassured as stats allow that its not prostate cancer. Other things like a waterworks infection can temporarily put the PSA blood test up so whilst a low psa +normal feeling prostate usually means no cancer, a high psa means further investigations and tests, it doesn't make a diagnosis of prostate cancer if you see what I mean.

Steroid cream is nothing to do with anything, don't worry about it.

What I would be most worried about is the incontinence - this can sometimes mean the bladder is chronically full, with only dribbles escaping. If you gently feel his tummy between belly button + pubic bone does he feel "pregnant"? Hopefully his gp did that too but its easier to feel a full bladder in skinny people rather than sturdier folk...

As someone else mentioned, it could be a stricture - a scar in the urethra or waterpipe causing a restriction in the flow -very common, non-sinister but does need a urologist to diagnose + treat.

Things to do:
If he's ever passed any blood in his pee, he should make sure his gp knows -that would merit seeing a urologist in 2 weeks for a camera inspection

If he drinks lots of caffeinated drinks, cut down

Buy a cheapo plastic measuring jug. Buy a notebook. Get him to choose some day like the weekend when he's at home and every time he pees in a 24hr period use the jug to measure it then tip it into the toilet. Its really useful if he can note down what he drinks and when on one side of a double page, on the other side what he pees and when. Its called a bladder diary. 2 or 3 days (not consecutively if it doesn't suit) is really helpful but he doesn't really need to do it all the time!

If he finds he can't pee at all - get on to nhs 24, get help - usually means trip to a+e to see a urologist

If he wasn't examined at the gp's, get him back to see someone else asap!

Hope that helps, when I'm not being a mummy I do urology

Thank you Puggle for taking the time to reply, I really appreciate it.

To answer your questions:

Cancer - his uncle has cancer, I guess he's in his late 60s early 70s. No idea what sort of cancer, I'll find out. No other history, his maternal family are all v fit and well. His father was an alcoholic and died of alcohol related illness (heart attack I think?) when he was in his 50s. Paternal grandfather was also alcoholic (so they may have died before any predisposed conditions came to light!) Not sure about any other family history on his father's side.

I don't think his GP did a rectal exam, blood test or urine test for that matter. I think he's pretty useless.

Not sure if GP felt his tummy. He's skinny. I'll give him a feel later!

Re Scar - he had a vasectomy reversal a year ago. No complications, normal sperm analysis since (we're currently ttc). Not sure if this is relevant, and surely if there was damage to the urethra we would have known about it before now. I also think the stop-start urination has been happening since before his VR.

No blood in pee as far as I know, and he doesn't drink much caffeine.

I'll ask him to do a bladder diary. It's difficult at the moment as he's self employed and literally has no days off, he's working 7 days a week (hence the stress!), so I'm not sure if this is practical. But as soon as he gets a day off, I'll suggest it.

And I'll be keeping an eye on him and insisting he sees another GP if it persists.

if he wasn't examined but it does happen a fair bit in my experience! - hence the questions. No urine testing !

Vasectomy reversal probably not relevant as they're only joining tubes in scrotum- often urethral scarring comes from a fall astride injury ie crossbar of bike/football tackle etc from teenage years and can mean guys have had poor flow of urine for years - a few have an injury they remember, lots don't btw

If the jug isn't practical, even if he notes down how often he pees and a rough estimate ie few drops, "normal" amount, "large" amount that's a start. Likewise with fluid intake.

If you do think he has a bladder you can feel -like a pregnant tummy then he should get seen pretty soon - not A+E in the middle of the night but in the next day or two rather than week or two as sometimes a bladder that doesn't empty can put back pressure on the kidneys

Good luck!

PS If he specifically asks the GP that he is worried about prostate cancer he should be examined and have a chat about pros and cons of PSA testing at the very least. At 40 its very rare, but he's not too young!

when he goes back to the gp - go with him.