i hate having diabetes

[hoxtonchick]

this is going to be self-pitying, but dp is at work & i don't want to weep in front of the children. so sorry in advance.

i've had diabetes for 12 years, & have always been pretty well controlled, excellently during pregnancy. since having dd a year ago i have been pretty lax, a reaction to how strict you have to be whilst pregnant. dr grabbed me the other day for blood tests, & have just seen him briefly, & he said my control wasn't great & could i go & see him. yadda yadda.

it's not fair. not many other 31 year olds have a chronic illness which you have to think about all the bloody time. and if you don't hideous things can go wrong & i am scared. god, am crying now.

it doesn't sound self pitying at all and I can totally understand why you'd want to be just a little bit lax every now and then but I guess you know you can't

honestly, you sound like you are doing really well

Oh, hc . My mum has Type 2 and I know she finds it very difficult to be strict. Wish I could be more helpful.

I understand completely how you feel and especially today.I had to get a taxi to pick ds up from his friends today as i was too dizzy to walk and now the doctor wants to see me as my blood pressure is iffy.Do you know any other mums with an ongoing illness?I have been crying too as I have invited friends for big brother and a curry and so will have to put on a brave face for a few hours.I think I have been lax with my diet etc in teh last year and I don't know about you but I feel even more upset when I know I have contributed to the problem.Hope you cheer up and get things sorted soon Have a nice weekend xx

oh thanks you two. normally i'm ok, but you can't really ignore it. and i have a dreadfully sweet tooth which doesn't help.

have maybe thought about having counselling, but not sure what good that would do.

that's it exactly noddy. i just want to be normal. and i am, externally. i am so scared of complications. i have high blood pressure too.

maybe counselling would be like a channel for your frustration? perhaps it's worth telling the GP how you feel - they must have heard it before because I'm sure young people (like yourself ) with diabetes must feel like this quite often.

it must be bloody hard if you have a sweet tooth!

it's the giving in to the sweet tooth which is the problem fox!

dr did say not to worry, but it's hard.... my dad has diabetes too, but we don't really talk about it much. also, i used to work for diabetes uk so probably know too much for my own good. have just spoken to dp who does understand & who'll be home quite.

better start looking at gym membership.

Do you live in London Hoxton? Just wondering because a friend of mine managed to get referred to St Thomas' Hospital diabetic clinic for most of her diabetes management and has found it very helpful. She was recently fitted with an insulin pump and says it's really good.

i do live in london puff. i go to barts & have a great dr there who i'm happy with. i just want it to go away really & not have to deal with it. am not being entirely realistic!

Hox what system are you on? Basal Bolus or two jabs a day? Do you have or want a pump?

It must be hard going as it's a constant in your life.

I'm really sorry you feel this way. I worry for my ds. He's 6 and, you may remember, was dx-ed just before chirstmas.

I know what you mean. People seem to think diabetes is nothing. You just have your injections and carry on as normal. Few people understand the condition and what it's really like.

Why is your control getting worse?

just tablets luckily sm, as i have type 2. well, i have 1 injection of insulatard overnight. i don't have a prob with injections, was on insulin when pg, but it makes me really fat (i still haven't lost the weight i put on when pg with ds who's now 4.5). so i'm worried they want to put me on insulin & i'll get fatter.

how's your ds doing? it must be very hard for you as a parent too.

my control hasn't been great as i have been eating crap essentially. well, chocolate mostly.

spider there is someone on the special needs threads with a diabetic child looking for support I suggested you Hope you don't mind (sorry for the hijack)x

Thanks noddy. I'll look out for her.

Hox I have no real experience of type two. It's a different thing altogether isn't it?

I do know about craving sweet stuff though. It can be a strong craving. Very common amongst diabetics - which is a cruel irony.

Noddy - I hope you have a good Big Brother. Pete for victory

the day-to-day control is less hair-raising sm, but the long-term prognosis is pretty similar.

you're all lovely & i've stopped crying now. need to take myself in hand.

hox I worry about the long term stuff too. It's easy to say but there's no poing worrying. Do you have to blood test? My son still gets rogue readings up in the late 20s for no apparent reason. That bugs me.

doing any blood tests would be a start for me sm.... pregnancy with diabetes is such hard work that i have cut myself too much slack i think.

dp is being ace. which is making me cry more...