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Original poster

Strawberry Birthmark

54 replies

SpanielEars · 16/08/2006 14:22

My 1 year old has a strawberry birthmark on her nose. We have been told that it will go by itself but i was wondering if anyone else has a kid with one?

OP posts:
waterfalls · 16/08/2006 15:36

My dt2 has 6, she is 2.5yrs now and they are starting to flaten and fade.

IdrisTheDragon · 16/08/2006 15:38

DS had one on his forehead which appeared when he was a few weeks old. He's 2.8 now and it hasn't been there for months (really not sure when it went ).

CarlyP · 16/08/2006 15:40

both my boys have them on the backs of their necks. they dont seem to be fading though.

Original poster
SpanielEars · 16/08/2006 15:41

think i'm going to toughen up and tell all the morons to go and screw themselves. I don't care if they are just trying to make polite conversation. Thats like me saying to some old dear....gosh aren't your breasts saggy, bet you breast fed the whole street not just your own!

OP posts:
Greensleeves · 16/08/2006 15:41

When people have actually adressed their remarks to me, cowmad, or hung around long enough to give me the chance to reply, I am always extremely pleasant and try to explain not only what the mark is but that it's an easy mistake and I'm not offended. The bloke who made the remark about ds2 being hit by a train was mortified when I explained, I ended up reassuring him, poor old sod.

But some people have already made their minds up, theu make remarks just about in earshot, or they just give a filthy look. Or when you tell them what it is, they sniff and walk off as if to say "a likely story". That hurts. Perhaps I get more of it because ds2's is in a place where people traditionally get punched? And it does become a strain having to say "No, it's a birthmark, yes, it does look like a bruise/burn/etc, but it's a birthmark, honest" all the time - at ds1's parents evening, in the supermarket, at friends' weddings, on the bus....surely no-one can be serene, gracious and full of charming little gems about angels and fairy kisses ALL the time? Or am I just an old cow?

cowmad · 16/08/2006 15:54

yep defo old cow!!thats an honest story,angels and fairies! when your child is older and may be able to understand some of these comments and your reaction to them, you need to step up to the mark,give it a spin, and protect your child and give him/her a way of dealing with this from their own perspective,you can and must do it.(sorry if you prickled a bit with the
comment "step up to the mark" but ur child will grow up and he/she will look to you for ways to deal with this particularly if its still visable a primary age)

Mascaraohara · 16/08/2006 16:07

My dd is 4, she starts school in September and it's right in the middle of her forehead.

You can imagine the amount of comments/stares I've had over the 4 years particularly before she had hair. I'm not particularly thick skinned but I really don't understand why you would worry about the comments but people don't mean harm (generally) If you had hit your son then fair enough but you hadn't so it doesn't matter.

The more chilled out about it I am the more chilled out she is.. we've been through consultants and all sorts when she was little.

Bozza · 16/08/2006 16:08

Greeny of course it hurts. You are honestly only acting/feeling like any mother would.

Mascaraohara · 16/08/2006 16:10

Sorry - hadn't quite finished that post, got distracted by a phone call..

What I was going to say was.. she understands that it's a birth mark and that it was darker when she was smaller and I don't make a big deal out of it. I understand that either it will go compeltely, or go partically (which it has to a degree) depoending on it's state when she is 9/10 she will then have corrective surgery or not. Some children have much worse to worry about (that probably sounds horrid but ykwim - I hope)

Greensleeves · 16/08/2006 16:14

Yes, I know some people have worse to worry about. We have, at various times, had much worse to worry about ourselves.

It's not much use that, though, is it? It's a bit like the whole "children are starving in Africa, eat your meat ball stew!" attitude

I am completely certain ds2 has not idea of the turmoil the mark has caused for me and his dad. W e call it his strawberry, I kiss it every day, he knows he is beautiful and amazing. But that doesn't mean I don't have feelings - I can't understand how you could not get upset about some of the comments, tbh.

Mascaraohara · 16/08/2006 16:21

I guess we're all different. I've worried about school and bullying but at the end of the day what can you do.. As long as I give my dd a positive attitude to deal with it and help her to be confident and outgoing (to make her less vulnerable) that's the best I can do.

A consultant we saw gave me some wise words when she was a baby along the lines of "Make sure she has something positive to say when she's questioned about it at school"

And to be honest I've had so many lovely comments that I can kind of ignore the negative.. Things like a beutician in a shop telling me it was a third eye and that she was blessed (nuts I know but she meant well) or the young girl in a clothing store who told me she had one on her bum but all she's got now is a little blue stain that looks like a bruise.. the woman who stopped me once in budgens to tell me her nephew had a huge one on his hairline but it had gone completely now - cure lift of hair to expose said place..

it's those comments you want to listen to!

PrettyCandles · 17/08/2006 22:10

Oh Mascaraohara, I'm so glad to hear you say that. I've always wondered whether my mum was doing the right thing by showing me off to other mums, or being too much of a busybody. But if that sort of thing helps, then I'm ok with the embarassment. (Though TBH I got used to it.)

I think that consultant was very wise about the child having something positive to say, also Cowmad's comment re giving it a spin. I often wonder why I wasn't bullied over my Strawberry, when I was so vulnerable to bullying over other far more trivial matters. This is one of those times when it's absolutely crucial that the parent swallow their anger and distress. The truth is that the child rarely notices the negative comments or attitudes at an early age - I certainly didn't - but will be influenced by their parents' negative reaction.

dinny · 17/08/2006 22:14

SpanielEars, sorry, only skimmed this but wanted to say my dd had a big strawberry mark in the middle of her front hairline (make sense?) and so many people used to ask me what had happened, had she hurt herself.

hers had gone totally by about 2.5 years old. she's 4 now and you'd never have known it was there at all (even I can't see it where it was any more).

wrinklytum · 18/08/2006 06:45

My dd has one above her right ear.Its less noticeable now shes getting some hair.ds misheard and calls it her "raspberry" !!They fade in a few years I think.

oinker · 18/08/2006 07:09

My neice had one on her upper lip area when she was born. It was a similar size to the bottom of a bic pen. She is eight and there is no trace of it now.

Emd · 20/08/2006 09:51

I have just discovered this site, and was just about to add a thread about Strawberry marks when I found this one!

My 14 week old son has one on his lower lip, which is also on the inside of his lip. It didn't appear until 2-3 weeks after birth & when the health visitor said what she thought it was I was so upset. I saw gp, she glanced at it & said 'it will go'! I had so many more questions, but couldn't get any answers. It has now grown to about 12mm across and raised by about 3mm. It started to bleed so took him back to gp who said its a good sign. That doesn't help when i'm constantly trying to stop him putting his hands in his mouth and checking on him constantly throughtout the night to make sure he isn't covered in blood! I too am getting tired of being fobbed off as I have read on various birthmark websites that specialists have told parents that if they had seen the child earlier they could have done more! There seems to be such a lack of knowledge & info available. Another health visitor said that they start to go white in the middle when they are beginning to fade, but I can't find any info to say if she is right or if gp was right about the bleeding.

My worry now, is that it seems to be raising on the inside of his mouth, will it affect his eating when he starts solids, his speech & what about when his teeth come through - I hate to think!

I know there are children in worse situations, but when its your own, they are your main concern.

Any advice or words of experiance would be very gratefully received!

Sorry to ramble on, & hi to everyone !

Amanda1 · 20/08/2006 10:21

Message withdrawn

Emd · 20/08/2006 13:57

Amanda1 - I find the birthmark support group website quite useful, I'm not sure, but I think they look at laser teatment depending on what the mark is

PrettyCandles · 20/08/2006 19:38

Emd - can you post the url of the birthmark support group, please?

AFAIremember, mine began to shrink, first in size and then in height, before it started fading fairly uniformly (it became a bit speckled), rather than going white in the middle. But I don't know whether there are different types of strawberry marks.

CantSleepWontSleep · 20/08/2006 20:08

Very interesting thread. My DD has one of these on her forehead, that appeared maybe 3-4 weeks after birth.

H/v said that it might get bigger as she gets older, but not to worry about it, and that they usually fade. I didn't even know the 'real' name for it until I read this thread.

If people ask what it is I usually tell them that I stubbed out a fag on her forehead . If they know me then they know I'm joking, and if not then it stuns them into silence .

Emd · 21/08/2006 09:19

Prettycandles -
www.birthmarksupportgroup.org.uk

(sorry can't get the hang of doing the link thing - even with the instructions to the right)!

Sparks · 21/08/2006 10:52

My dd had a very large strawberry mark above/around her eye when she was a baby. She has been seen by dermatologists andophtalmologists. We have been to Birthmark Support Group meetings, etc.

EMD to be blunt I think your GP doesn't know what he is talking about. Bleeding is not a good sign. OTOH it's not necessarily a problem, it just depends why it is bleeding. The birthmark is made up of a lot of blood vessels that are growing in an unusual way. If the child gets a cut or a scrape, it will bleed more than other skin. That's not a problem. If the birthmark bleeds because it has become ulcerated, that would be a problem.

Mascaraohara · 21/08/2006 11:14

Agree entirely with Sparks.. I was advised that it is more likely to bleed if bumped than any 'normal' skin but to use my judgement and if I had any uncertainty to see GP/A&E..

EMD I would ask to see a consultant, they will sometimes do surgery earlier if the mark is around/obstructing the mouth/nose/eyes.

Emd · 21/08/2006 14:23

Thanks guys, your responses have just made me even more determined! I won't just accept that what one person says is right - I am going to INSIST they refer me!

Sparks · 21/08/2006 14:50

When I went to the Brthmark Support Group, a lot of the parents I talked to had stories of being fobbed off by GPs.

You can ask the GP for a referral directly to a specialist birthmark unit. More info here in case you haven't already seen it. If you are in the south of England, I highly recommend Prof John Harper's birthmark clinic at Great Ormond Street. My dd was mostly seen by one of the other dermatologists, Dr Samira Syed, who is very sympathetic and very knowledgeable.