Postnatal Depression Support

[susanmt]

Is there anyone else out there currently suffering from PND?? My son is 4 weeks old and I have a 2 yr old daughter. I am getting treatment for PND but would like to chat to others who are going through it - maybe we could support each other a bit and share the things that give us the good days?
Looking forward to hearing from folk soon
Susan

Girly, had a much better day today which is typical isn't it. I think its partly relief for talking/making the appt. Actually dreading tomorrow for I keep finding myself 'talking' the appointment through in my head as though I need to reassure myself in case the doc says 'its normal'. I suppose they are guilty feelings that I have. Tried to be calmer today on the whole but I still exploded at the drop of a hat about some trivial requests from the children. Perhaps I should give in more. Worried though because friends say I am very in control and always look cool when out with the kids. Why then do I feel like snapping inside? What am I supposed to do to make myself feel calmer on the inside? Do Yoga/drink more wine/just take the pills???

I will let you know what doc recommends.

JoT, Got on fine at the docs this morning, although before hand was very tearful and had a horrible sick feeling, but once I'd got in there and expalned as calmly (bit tricky) as I could I felt a lot better, he made very sympathetic noises and listened (female GP off sick! so had to see regular GP - the one i thought was a bit off hand). He was very matter of fact and said we had to get to root of the prob as well as taking pills and suggested counselling, they have an inhouse counsellor, and made an appointment for me for next week, also gave me prozac again and told me to come back in a month for a review.

Was very tearful when got home, partly due to relief etc, to discover that dh has taken the whole day off (wonderful man)this made me blub, but feel better now, off to the chemist to pick up pills, How did you get on?

Girly, well done for going.

Girly, very similar by all accounts. Sat in waiting room for half an hour, nearly gave up and left as pancic was starting to set in. I too tried to explain my situation and by the look on the doc's face she could tell instantly. I think the nerves were apparent. She prescribed me Lustral and again said that although she could prescribe these, I really should try and change my lifestyle in a way that it makes it easier for me, i.e. more help and that she would give me the tablets for a month only so I have to go back. She said that talking it through with others going through a similar time can sometimes be more effective than counselling which I think is true for me.

I feel better for going but realise that I have to try and make things better for myself and that the tablets are a short term solution. I suppose the fact that the school holidays are a crisis point for me and that my baby is still waking twice a night if affecting the way I feel so hopefully I will feel better soon. On the down side though, doc said tabs would take 3 to 4 weeks to work.

Off to M&S tonight to make myself feel better!

By the way, there is increasing evidence that some amount of depression is caused or made worse by vitamin/mineral imbalances. At the risk of being labeled the mumnet vitamin fanatic, i would highly recommend that you supplement whatever official medication/treatment you are getting with a one-a-day multi vitamin with iron.

I'm also a great believer in helping yourself, its just finding the ways that work for you. Vitamin B6 is meant to be good as it helps the nervous systembut I would ask the doctor how much to take each day as too high a dose can give you pins and needles. The body can't store Vitamin B6 so foods which are rich in it are also good:- bananas, sunflower seeds, cottage cheese. Oily fish is also good. Also try and get outside in the sunshine and in the winter I try and get out at midday because that is when it is lightest, even if its chucking it down with rain !!
It WILL get better for all of us, its just a matter of remembering that even when its hideous. Hope you all have a good day and I'll be thinking of you xxx

Thank you everyone for all your kind thoughts. Its lovely to read what everyone has written and the time you have taken to do so. I feel fine today, unusually good, I think its relief at the moment. I am trying to be calmer and bite my tongue with the children. Like we have all said, the tablets are only a small part, I have to contribute too and if anything else its made me realise that I have to do for myself. I am going to do 10 minutes exercise tonight on my husbands trainer machine as I feel I have turned a corner and with the new enthusiasm I have I should make the most of it. Speak soon. Jo x.

Ditto, Thursday was nt a bad day for me either, what gets me down is feeling like i can't help myself, so doing something positive really boosts my confidence levels, have been making myself talk to people (generally) and making the most of th glorious weather is cheering me up, as well as the chuckles my ds has just started doing whenever he sees me.

If anyone has a bad day we should post here how we are feeling and maybe we could cheer each other up... what do you think?

definately! I am having an ok day today as my older 2 children are off to grandparents this afternoon for tea and husband is collecting them on his way home from work. I am off to a girlfriend's for the night with babe in arms!! Its therapy you see!! Speak soon. J.

Glad to hear you both are having a better day today! So am I, my NIL has been here and cleaned the house, done the ironing, taken the kids out and let me have 4 nights unbroken sleep. She is going home tomorrow! I think the sleep has been the best thing, I can cope so much better if I have slept!!!

Thats MIL, not NIL!! What would an NIL be???

Sleep is the best thing, works wonders! dh has done the night feeds all week, he says its his way of helping me through the bad days, (ds only wakes once, feeds and goes straight back to sleep so dh is only awake for 30 mins at most). Talked a bit to my mum who has said she will help more and look after both kids when i go for counselling on Monday, bit nervous about this I don't know what to expect as I have never had it before. Does anyone else have any experiences, good or bad?

Girly - I had counselling for depression before I had the kids (seem to have spent a lot of my adult life depressed) and I found it very useful to sort out things in my head. Glad to hear you have got it. My counsellor was very gentle, non judgemental, direscted me carefully through several problems and helped me find strategies for coping which worked. This was alongside drug therapy. In fact the counselling was SO good that when I went for counselling with PND the counsellor stopped it after 2 sessions as she said I had nothing left to sort out, it had all been handled so professionally the first time!! Hope you get on well, glad to hear your mum is going to be a help.

Guess what, the surgery mucked up my appointment with counsellor, I went yesterday only to discover the appointment is on Thursday, was pretty P**ed off as you can imagine.
Not such a good day today, dd is really winding me up, she senses when i am having a bad day and plays up because of it, am trying to keep calm and ignore bad behaviour but its very hard today.
Is there another thread on Jealous toddlers, my dd is getting increasingly more jealous of her brother, and had started being aggressive towrds him, not sure how to handle this one, I try giving her more attention, but it seems that its never enough, she is really bad when it comes to grandparents, throws a real wobbly and becomes hysterical and violent if Grandad picks him up or even looks at him..Will she grow out of this?

I know its hard but I think the best thing to do is to try and ignore her behaviour when she throws a trantrum and eventually she will move on to something else. I am not sure how old your dd is but my 3 year son is now more jealous of baby because he is crawling around. I find the best thing is the distraction approach. Have you tried "oh quick look there's a police helicopter in the sky" its usually works with mine! Its not always easy to be this enthusiastic though and somedays I find myself telling the 3 year old he has been naughty when other days I will use the distraction approach. It depends on my mood. I have found though that the less emphasis put on the subject the better and if I am chilled about it then the children are better. The more pent up and the more I nag them, the worse they are. Hope this helps.

Now struck down with tonsillitis. Have been in bed for 2 days and everyone has joined forces and had the children for me which is great. Doc says I am probably run down at the moment. I think its time to start taking a tonic/vitamins as was suggested previously. Bye for now.

JoT, thanks for the advice. Sorry your not feeling well, must be nice having everyone running around for you, try and make the most of it and don't get up before you feel better. Vitamins are a good idea, i find they help keep colds, etc away.

DD is off to Nanny and Grandads for a long weekend of being well and truly spoilt! So there will be peace in our house for 4 days....She will be very happy to have them all to herself. So no jealous tantrums for a little while.

Get well soon

My dd is 3 years old too, must be the age for it..

Girly - how did it go on Thursday?
I'm feeling pretty miserable today, I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO tired with ds waking up in the night (teething) and it seems to be getting on top of me again a bit. Ah well, holidays next week, so that will help.

Susanmt, Not sure what to make of the counselling, found it very unsettling. He seemed to be able to read my mind, he did not say much but had a knack of makng me talk quite openly and say things that i have not said to anyone before. He has suggested a few more sessions over the summer as he thinks i have quite a few issues that need sorting out. Very scary.

When i got home mum asked me how i got on and i burst into tears, she then said most dismissively, "well if counselling makes you cry like this then it can't be helping" She also has the hump with me because dd is with her other grandparents this weekend, scuppering her plans. Mothers!!!! Is there another thread?

Have been enjoying the good weather and making the most of the peace and quiet, but also missing dd, she comes home this afternoon! Hope you have a good day, if not I don't mind listening...

Are you going anywhere nice on hols?

Girly, my cousin is going through counselling at the moment (although not for PND) and she too is finding it very hard. However, she feels (and I think she is right) that it is hard because it is making her face things that she needs to face if she is going to sort herself out. So stick with it and don't listen to your Mum - remember that you are being very brave and very grown up to do this. Cyberhug from me for having the nerve to go through with it.

Thanks Azzie, I think Mum has a problem with it because it reflects badly on her, guilty cons, does not like the idea of her dd seeing a shrink, as she calls them. I will keep going as its comforting at the same time as unsettling as someone totally understands me, which makes me feel validated.

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Don't know susanmt if you are still checking in here but want you all to know it has been such a help to read all your messages.
i am breastfeeding and taking prozac- just pleased to hear at least some others have done the same.