Would you refuse a medical test for your child?

[spiker]

Because I'm 99.99% certain it's unnecessary and 100% certain that it will give immense upset and distress to DS1 (2.6). I don't want his first memory to be of going through this procedure

DS1 had a UTI a few month's ago and the hospital wanted to do some further investigations to check that nothing's wrong his waterworks. He's already has ultrasound which showed that all was normal. And now they want to strap him into a machine for 30 minutes to immobilise him whilst they tilt him about and do some imaging. I think he will be completely terrified by this.

(Bizarre coincidence - DS2 had a UTI shortly after birth and had to go through all these tests too, which is how I know what they're like. Now DS2 needed to be checked out, no question. It was pretty bad watching my baby go through these investigations but how much worse with a 2 year old? Too little to understand but big enough to be completely terrified.)

The HV agreed with me that if DS1 had anything wrong with his UT or kidneys he'd have been ill a lot more than just the once and he certainly wouldn't have reached the grand old age of 2.6 without any illness. As far as I can tell the hospital is covering themselves. Don't blame them, they are right to offer the test, but in the circs should I just refuse? Or am I being cavalier about my son's health?

Or am I just a total wus??

I don't mean to cause offence to any mum who's had to watch her children go through much worse than this. My dilemma arises because DS1 is perfectly healthy - and I am so thankful for this.

Why do you think he will be terrified? Are you projecting your feelings about ds2 (a tiny baby) onto your more robust and older son.

I think this is standard procedure - and after all if there were symptoms then they wouldn't need to do this test. The fact that they do implies that whatever they are looking for you can't just tell without the test.

Tell him it's a special ride and give him a bag of chocolate buttons afterwards.

Spiker, I am a Mum whose child has been through lots of surgery and other procedures, and that makes me VERY sympathetic to your pov!

A couple of things, though: 1. I would discuss it with your GP, not your HV and 2. for an investigation like that, wouldn't they sedate him? they can induce sleep with oral sedation (DS had it for an MRI - also potentially terrifying for a small child).

It sounds as if your insticnts are right -if he has another UTI that might be the time to think further? I would make an appointment to discuss it with your GP. Just to clear up anything you might not have thought of, iyswim. And if your GP errs on the side of testing, ask about sedation. ime hospitals do try very hard not to upset small children- and it doesn't make their job at all easy if they do!

Good luck.

Ummm 1 UTI and that's it? I think you are right; they are covering themselves (I speak as ex NHS manager with 12 years experience) and i would be reluctant to put 2.6 year old through this too.

Now it would be a different matter if he had experienced recurrent UTI's

I agree with threebob. Assumimg you're in the UK, yes, the hospital will want to cover their butts, but they will also have an eye on cost. I am fairly sure that they want to eliminate any potential problems for your son's sake, rather than to necessarily avoid a potential lawsuit.

I'd add a trip to the toyshop to the chocolate buttons.

I also agree with Threebob, the types of problems they are looking for can not be ruled out without these tests. I know which test you are speaking of, my ds2 has had it done twice. I would rather go through the test than find out that my ds's BP problems in later life are caused by scaring to his kidneys. (thankfully, my ds's BP problems in later life will be caused by his heart rather than his kidneys as his scan came back clear the second time).

I am also very certain that a child of 2.6 will not remeber any of the test when he gets older. It is only 30 minutes.

It's really important to have the test. The hospital are not doing it tocover their own backs but because there is a real risk of renal scarring after even just one uti in children under 5 and this needs to be identified. I think that it shouldn't be that big a deal for your ds if you are very careful not to project your own anxieties about it it on to him. How have these tests been organised? I would guess that he is under the care of a paediatrician for these investigations? If so and you are still anxious or uncertain about the value of the test then I would try to contact them. You may not need to have another appointment at the hospital, the doc may well be happy to look at your ds's notes and then have a chat on the phone to you if that would help. Try ringing the doc's secretary via the hospital switchboard. Ime paediatricians are generally happy to chat to parents in this way .

Having at the moment many trips to the hospital trying to sort out my daughters tummy troubles, i know from experience that they wont do tests without justification. They are too worried about being sued. It may be upsetting for the child but they soon forget . Hopefully if there was a problem it would be sorted sooner rather than later.

If he has only been sick once it seems a bit OTT.

however also agree to talk about sedation..dd has been through a few tests but she was very young and I remember thinking I was semi glad it wasnt my 2yr old as he would have freaked where she took it in her stride.

Thank you all for your comments and advice - I really needed to talk this through.

Threebob is partly right about me projecting how it was with the baby onto DS1 - it was a pretty gruelling day of procedures and tests and it's very hard to hold your tiny baby down so that doctors can do nasty things to him that make him scream so, but you have to keep calm for them and not cry and try to comfort them. But all the time I kept thinking, "This is terrible, but at least with a baby once it's over, it's over. This would be so awful with DS1...".

The other reason I'm dreading it is that he hates to be restrained. After 5 mins in the car seat he starts pleading to get out. I think he will really freak out when he realises he can't move at all, and that his parents are party to it.

I will speak to the hospital/paed. on the phone. If they are really sure it needs to be done (and it sounds like it does from what ladidadi says) then I'll ask about sedation. I will also line up a nice treat or 2 for afters.

Blu - sorry to hear about your DS. My niece was very sick when she was 5 and had MRI and spinal taps and all sort, and I know how bad it was for her (poor love, they got the dose wrong and she woke up in the scanner thing, can you imagine how frightened she was?).

heartmum - so sorry to hear about your DS too. Hope you don't mind me asking, but how old was your DS was when he had the same test? I've got hung up on this 'first memory' thing, I admit.

Thanks again.

Spiker-if it helps my dd1 was 3 when she had investigations for recurrent UTIs (which made her very ill). The radiology people were fantastic with her and she doesn't remember it at all even though at the time she was distressed by the injections she had to have. I know how you feel though - I managed not to cry while I was with her but only just.
BTW - it was worth having the test and getting the reassurance that her kidneys were ok.

Spiker, let us know what the outcome is. I often think about threads that I've posted on and wonder what happened. Hope that it all goes well for you and your ds .

HI Spiker!

I don't mind you asking at all. The first time ds2 had that scan he was only a baby, maybe 4 or 5 months. The second time was about 15 months old. I have to admit that ds2 has been under a hospital all his life (is just over 2 now) and is always being poked and prodded and is very good during medical procedures and examinations. I expected him to get worse as he got older, but he has coped better each time, although this could change as he learns to think for himself even more.

I just had a thought with regards to the scan though, at our hospital they had a chair that the child could sit in. That way they could sit up and watch a film of their choice. The offered it to us when ds went for his last scan, but I felt he was too little to sit quietly for 30 minutes, so asked ot have him lying down. Maybe you could call the nuclear medicine unit and ask them

Spiker - in all honesty, all the fiddling about Ds endures in hospital, he just accepts it. i have witnessed probably hundreds of incidents with children in hospitals, now, and they always seem so much calmer thnif it were a parent attempting an everyday task! Hospitals really are quite good at making sure the child is calm and happy as far as possible, so if it is a necessary test - good luck and remember that in 'routine' matters, the parent always seems to suffer more than the child!

If you're watching...all went fine. DS1 was not too happy about the canula but was so tired when it came to the scan that he was quite happy to lie down and watch TV. Don't have the results yet.

Thanks for all the advice and support. I'm a bit embarrassed that I was stressing over nothing, but most relieved.