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Original poster

Didn't go for 3 1/2 year check

22 replies

juniper68 · 10/03/2004 20:12

I started a thread earlier titles 2nd MMR..... and we were supposed to go to the HV today to get his assesment and jabs. I'd decided against the jabs and bottled out of going. I'm v assertive but I know for a fact I'd have lost my rag if they'd started being patronising. Now I'll just have to wait for them to get in touch.

OP posts:

coppertop · 10/03/2004 20:54

They've stopped doing the 3.5yr check-ups around here. Now all you get is a sheet of paper listing all the things they should be able to do by the time they're 4 years old. They sent us the sheet about a year ago and, needless to say, I have no idea where it is!

Our HV isn't really much use unless you want your baby to be weighed at the Baby Clinic.

coppertop · 10/03/2004 20:55

Should have said that ds1 wasn't even 3yrs old when they sent us the list!

lydialemon · 10/03/2004 21:01

I always assumed that the 3.5 year check would be pretty standard - everybody do the same kind of thing. DS2 had his yesterday, and our HV came to us (so she could assess him in his own environment), she was here for 50 minutes, chatting about what he can do, playing games with him etc.

When my BF took her DD to her doctors for her pre school booster, they had a 5 minute chat in the surgery and THAT was her 3,5 yr check!

This is all very odd....

DS2 has his booster on the 5/4, I daren't tell him before hand, he'll freak.

Angeliz · 10/03/2004 21:06

Oh God not another check!!
H.V p***d me off SO much last time so there is no way i'm going for another stupid check! (Though she actually came to my house to insult mt intelligence ast time, Bless her!)
I KNOw some people have good ones, but i only have to hear 'Health Visitor', and i get angry!

Angeliz · 10/03/2004 21:07

Sorry about messy typing, was on an angry roll+

CountessDracula · 10/03/2004 21:28

Oh tits forgot about checks. Is there an 18 month one?

Original poster

juniper68 · 11/03/2004 10:46

Yes CD there is one about that time. I remember getting a v young HV? coming and asking if I'd started potty training him! He's just doing it now so I bet she'd freak.
I'm just going to wait until they contact me and not worry about it.

OP posts:

Bozza · 11/03/2004 11:13

In our area they do a two year check not an 18 month one.

hana · 11/03/2004 11:18

still waiting for dd's 2y check (shes 2.6)

CookieMonster · 11/03/2004 11:31

We have a 3 year check here - the HV phoned the other day saying she wanted to come to the house to do it. I'm not going to bother with it - I know my own child and I know what things they are going to check (can she see/hear/speak OK, can she run, is she dry during the day, are her teeth getting cleaned), so I just think it's a waste of my and her time. But I do understand why they offer to do it and maybe sometimes they spot things that parents haven't.

Davros · 11/03/2004 13:31

I completely ignored the 9 month check and haven't heard a peep. I have no intention of going to any others with a HV either! If I'm worried I'll see the GP.

Coddy · 11/03/2004 13:33

OOh I wouldnt worry - we just went in for 5 mins like Ll said.

lydialemon · 11/03/2004 13:41

Well, I was more than happy to have mine have the checks. I know my kids are wonderful, but it's always nice for someone else to tell you to!

I think I'm in the minority though as I get on really well with my HV, I've known her over 6 years now and although we don't agree on everything she would never push her opinions onto me.

Coddy · 11/03/2004 13:46

me too LL

friend has just given it up as she couldnt stand all the aggro she got

Bit like teaching

Coddy · 11/03/2004 13:47

also if these meeting werent made what would happent ot hese cases of child abuse where everyone asks why no one noticed?

FairyMum · 11/03/2004 14:03

The last check I went to was the 7-month check with DS and have never heard anything since. I told my HV I wasn't interested in seeing her anymore and I haven't heard anything since. IMO these tests are a complete waste of point, but I do take Coddy's point.....

Angeliz · 11/03/2004 14:10

itake Coddys point too and dp reminds me of that when i rant on about my H.V. These checks do need to be made to detect kids at risk!

It's just a bit annoying when they put worries in your head over nothing!

Davros · 11/03/2004 16:53

Is it really HVs who detect kids at risk? Genuine question as it never occurred to me....

coppertop · 11/03/2004 17:16

When ds1 was about 15mths old I tried to tell my HV that something was wrong. She kept fobbing me off with the line that he was "a perfectly normal little boy" and that I was over-anxious. She hadn't even bothered to spend more than 2 minutes with him.

On his 2nd birthday when he (as I'd predicted) failed his 2yr assessment, she sent a referral for speech therapy. He's now nearly 4yrs old, has been diagnosed with autism and we hadn't seen or heard from her again until 2 weeks ago. Even then she only came to see us because the Early Years Inclusion Service told her she ought to visit us. The EYIS asked her to help us find out about the possibility of free nappies for ds1. We've heard nothing. Even the EYIS have told us that they think our HV is pretty useless.

So, even though we have a pre-schooler with diagnosed special needs, the health visitor hasn't enquired about him even ONCE in two years. Instead we have a list of developmental milestones through the post which he is supposed to reach by the age of 4. If they'd bothered to check ds1's file they would know that there is no way he will have reached these milestones.

I know some HV's are really good, but ours has been about as much use as an ashtray on a motorbike.

Angeliz · 11/03/2004 17:40

Davros, i very much doubt it but i guess at that early age where some have no outside influences, then any 'proffesional',(very loosely used), may pick up on something!
Whenever i moan about mine, dp always reminds me that if they help one kid in a thousand then it's worth these things!
(BUT i'm still not going to any more checks as they infuriate me personally!!!)

Original poster

juniper68 · 11/03/2004 18:03

Grrrr @ your HV Coppertop. That must be so frustrating for you. That's one thing about our town, it's supposed to be one of the best places for autism. I feel my DS2 may be slightly autistic which is another reason I don't want MMR. At least I know he'll get the help he needs if he is.

OP posts:

coppertop · 11/03/2004 18:28

Juniper - If you don't mind me asking (and don't answer if you don't want to), why do you think your ds2 may be autistic? There are a few of us over on the Special Needs section who have children with autism/Asperger's if there's ever anything you want to talk (or in my case "rant" ) about.
At 2yrs old ds1's main 'symptoms' were things like not talking or babbling, seeming deaf, not interested in people etc.

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