Constant minor illnesses in 2 yr old

[Sheila]

My ds has been ill nearly every week since Christmas. He goes to nursery 2 days per week and in theory I go to work while he's there, but there's only been one week when I managed to get in to work every day. None of these illnesses have been particularly troubling - mostly bad colds with temperature or sickness/diarhoea, but they've been bad enough to prevent him going to nursery - partly becuase they're so stict about not taking kids when they've got the squits, partly because I feel it's quite a stressful environment for him , although he enjoys it, and he needs to be 100% fit to cope with it.

The problem with all this is that it's incredibly stressful - I feel terrible (and increasingly resentful) about having to take constant time off work, and although they've been very tolerant I'm sure this can't last. Constantly looking after a sick child is very, very exhausting too. Also ds is a terrible sleeper. See the sleep section for more detail on this but basically he wakes at around 4 a.m. and is now refusing to go back to sleep whatever I do. I've been trying controlled crying (because nothing else works) but as soon as I get anywhere he gets ill and I have to stop. This doesn't make for a consistent approach, and is frankly heartbreaking for both of us - going through all that agony basically for nothing. I'm writing this at this unearthly hour because ds has just gone back to sleep after an hour of solid crying.

After that long preamble my questions are these: has anyone else had this problem with constant illness, and if so how did you cope? Is there any way of building up ds's immune system?

I tend to blame nursery for all the stuff he's getting, and for being so inflexible once he's ill - most of the time he's well enough to be left with a trusted adult, but not to go to nursery. I'm reluctant to change childcare now as it took so long to get him to like nursery, and he's coming to the age when most of his peers are transferring from nannies/childminders to nursery. Ds is an only child so I think he needs the social contact. The other alternative would be to give up work, but I find it a lifeline at the moment - both from a financial point of view and from a sanity point of view - I love ds, but need to do other things too.

Any advice or just a similar story would be very welcome. Sorry to have gone on so long.

Well, Good Morning Shelia!
Greetings from a Mum with another early riser...
You don't say how old your son is, but my ds went to nursery once a week, and spent the best part of a winter going down with stuff. Like you, I started to ask if he should continue to go...
However, it did pass. I know of lots and lots of other mums whose children did the same thing. It seem to be a phase when all these bugs hit their immune system, and as the Immune System is not developed, they fall prey.
I found that sorting out their sleep helps a great deal. Simple to say, I know, but being tired (both of you!!) lowers the resistance to bugs.
Also, go to your local health shop and pick up some echinacea drops especially for children. Give then to ds for about 6 weeks, then a break of 2 or 3 weeks, then resume if necessary... by then it'll be spring anyway!!
Good Luck

Sorry... just seen that your ds is 2... bit blurry at this time of day!

My son's 3 in two weeks time. He started full-time playgroup in September. Since the first week of December till first week of February he averaged 2 weeks ill, one week well the whole time...one of the viruses left him the most ill I've ever seen him, completely unmoving on the settee for a whole day.

The playgroup doesn't have any real rules about keeping children at home if they're sick so its rather a hotbed of infections. There was only once they asked me not to bring him in: when his nose was running so badly they did not have enough staff to cope! Hopefully this winter's experiences will have strenthened his immune system though.

Hi Sheila, I have a two year old son at nursery too and I know just how trying this kind of sequence of minor illness can be, for both of you.
Fms has already recommended echinacea and I can heartily endorse its use too. This winter, on echinacea (two weeks on, one week off) he has had far fewer colds than the previous one, when we had a nightmarish Jan-March. I am guessing that this is your son's first winter at nursery? If so, I can reassure you that as they get older, their immune systems strengthen with each exposure to these common viruses - as MandyD says.
Other things that we have found seem to help his general health levels are lactobacillus powder in his porridge after every instance of diarrhoea, and xylitol (in his toothpaste, Boot's Childrens' Totalcare). This is an antibacterial, natural substance that I heard about from Robinw on mumsnet and since switching to this toothpaste our son has not had a single bacterial infection.
Finally, as he is now much pickier than he was a year ago with his food, we take every opportunity to offer the fruit and veg he still eats with pleasure. We have found a smashing way to get cabbage and raw carrot down him - coleslaw.
Don't give up on nursery provided you can square it with work - it will be much better next year, I promise. And how many school-age children do you know of who are constantly off because of bugs? I clung to this thought this time last year!
And take care of yourself. Get some multivits and echinacea in for yourself too! I had septic tonsillitis last Christmas because I had let myself get so run down, and I don't ever want that to happen again.

Hi Sheila - I know what you are going through. A few weeks ago DS (2 yo as well) kept being sent back after 1 day (out of 2 a week!) at nursery because he had diahhorea... His diahhorea has not hugely improved but the nursery agrees that he is not ill (small victory in terms of the amount of stress about having completely unreliable childcare). I did look into getting a nanny at that stage.
I agree with fms, if you can sort out his sleeping, you will help is health. How much does he normally sleep ? You don't necessarily need to do control crying... if he has a 2 hour nap and goes to bed early enough (7PM) he should sleep until at least 630. If he doesn't then I am happy to expend further.
Also a good diet of fresh fruit and vegetables will help his immune system... Tell me if you want more info on this. Happy to help.

All the best..... hope he gets better soon.

My ds who is now 4 (5 in November and has been at Nursery since he was 9 months) has had stages when he has been really ill - first year every other week he had a cold - second winter at Nursery really bad loads of infections cold, throat, stomach etc - last winter was great hardly anything - 2001/2002 however has been a bad one again he had 6 weeks of recurrent ear infections from September through to November and then every other week since then he has had a cold + a couple of weeks ago a nasty throat infection followed exactly 10 days later by yet another cold - I have taken him to see a nutrionist who had recommended putting Vit C Powder + acidolphulus powder (excuse spelling)in his juice to build up good bacteria after some many antibiotics - my son eats well, sleeps well and is very active so I dont know what to suggest as I appear to be doing it all right ie. food/vits etc but nothing appears to be helping I just hope it finally grows out of it.

Hi Sheila, just want to say that I think echinacea drops are great! I use bioforce for kids and since Sept when I started dd on them (she was just under two) she had NO COLDS and no bugs whatsoever! Then I went away on a break a couple of weeks ago, forgot to take the drops but thought it would be fine, next thing you know she ended up with the dreaded tummy bug that's flying around the country...never leave home without them again!

Thank you all for such solid practical advice and for the comfort of knowing this won't go on forever. I'll try the suggestions for immune system boosters - ds loves fruit but the closest he gets to veg is baked beans. I'm sure you're all right that lack of sleep can contribute so I'm concentrating on that at the mo.

Thanks again - I'm off to bed now!
Sx

Sheila, I agree pretty well with everyone here. Ds has been in some form of daycare since about 3 months old, but did not catch any of the bugs until he weaned himself at 11.5 months (immunity from breast milk?). After that it was a new disease every second week or so for about 12 months!!! He had colds, coughs, chickenpox, hand, foot and mouth disease, conjunctivitis, vomitting & diarrhoea etc etc etc. And we got them all too!!! (except for the chicken pox! Yes...I even got hand, foot and mouth!).

It does get better, he has not been nearly as sick this year with only one cold so far. Plenty of sleep and lots of healthy food (as mentioned lots of fruit and vegies does wonders) and drinking plenty of water! Good luck and hang in there because it will get better.

I've had the same experience as everyone else here with my ds's, although their continual illnesses were at playgroup stage as they didn't go to nursery. I used to get all the illnesses, too, and the year we had D&V bugs every six weeks had to be the worst!! But it does improve eventually and it seems to have boosted my immunity as well becuase I rarely have more than one cold a year now.

One odd thing is that my dd's didn't go through the same stage of being ill all the time and I also notice here that everyone except Lizzer has talked about boys being affected. I wonder if boys are more vulnerable to germs or whether it's just a weird coincidence on mumsnet???

Chelle, you had a very bad time in your family with Hand, Foot and Mouth, didn't you - I remembered it when the notice went up at nursery this week. Hopefully ours is the less serious Coxsackie type and vitamin-enriched ds won't get it. I hope you and ds all made a full recovery.

Suedonim - ah-ha!! Slugs and snails and puppy dog's tails, thats what little boys are made of

Wouldn't it be weird fact if it were true (not the puppy dog's tail bit, obviously, but the fact that boys are more prone to picking germs up)?

My dh was told by a work colleague shortly after ds was born that "remember, you're now living with a plague carrier!" - and he was right!

Once ds started going to the childminder (from 4 months) he has caught and generously passed on to the two of us all sorts of bugs! The d&v bug (mostly d!) was a particularly nasty one!

He wasn't as bad as he might have been, as I breast fed for a year, but he was catching "new" bugs from a circle of people that I didn't know, so I didn't have the immunity to pass on to him.

We THINK he even had chicken pox - but it was only one spot and he'd only just started on solids, (ie almost entirely breast fed) so he "fought" it with my own immunity. Unfortunately, I believe that that means he is likely to get it again - but it should be a milder dose second time around.

LOL, Lizzer, at 'slugs and snails'!

It would be weird but maybe there is something in the idea. I think that more boys are born than girls but they are more prone to morbidity and mortality than girls. Looking at a SIDS site last week, it appears that boys are more susceptible to that, as well, with 60% of victims being boys.

There was a report a few weeks ago (ST I think) that said children in nurseries contracted a lot more illnesses in their first 4 years BUT the lost far fewer days off school. It suggested that the hammering their immune system got actually built it up, and things didn't level out until puberty, when illness rates were about the same. So, at last, there is a good side to sending your kids to nursery!
Both mine went 3 days per week from 6 months, and for one horrible year dh & I used practically all our holidays caring for one sick child after another, but now they are both at school, they seem remarkably able to fight things off, to the extent of not catching the bug that got 2/3 of the children in the class (I got it though!)

Sorry if already mentioned but try Minadex tonic available from Tesco. It's got iron in it and my kids actually like the orange taste. R

Glad to hear it's not only us with this problem! Since Xmas dd (aged 2) seems to have had a cold/high temperature or diarrhoea almost every other week, and in between ds (who usually has the constitution of an ox) has managed to fill in with a couple of bouts of sickness and diarrhoea. It's become a sort of black joke in our household - one of us books a business trip and the other rings up MIL to put her on standby to come tearing down from Sheffield to look after whichever child will inevitably fall sick the day one parent heads off abroad. We're just very lucky that my work are so understanding. We're keeping everything crossed that this is just a phase, because we're finding it totally exhausting. I've wondered sometimes whether I should just give up and stop work, but the thought of not doing some sort of work depresses me quite a lot, so I guess we'll just hang in there and hope for the best.