Feeling very low due to back and leg pain.

[PavlovtheCat]

Sciatic pain down both legs. pain rather than numbness/pins and needles, getting that but it comes and goes. and my back keepings giving way.

It's not new. I know the likely reason, following a discectomy in June it may, or may not be a re-prolapsed disc and some shit going on with a vertebrae that is out of alignment. Waiting for MRI results, which are taking far too long due to neurosurgeon going on some epic holiday while my results have sat on his desk, gathering dust (3rd or 4th Dec was MRI scan date)

Nothing is really helping, medication wise. Except diazepam. not taken that yet . pain is not unbearable in terms of scale out of 10 (around 5/10 probably) but it's unbearable as it's just relentless. I've had enough. I am in tears at the hopelessness of it all. I don't want to be like this any more. Well, clearly I have not had enough, as that would indicate I can stop it. So, I will have had enough when my stupid back tells me I have.

I know you can't fix it. There is nothing anyone can do to sort this out. Not even the bloody medical professionals.

Pavlov I feel your pain I had a second slipped disc the same one and needed surgery again. The pain takes over and makes you feel so grump. Take the pain killers and move slowly and stay horizontal you will not be creeping around the house like a 90 year old for ever. It will get better I am fine now and back to my old self despite having two. Oh and did I say take the painkillers. Biggest hugs sista.

Oh Pavlov (gentle hug and cyber chocs). So sorry you are suffering. Relentless pain is so draining. Very frustrating that the consultant that needs to see the scans is away. Surely someone else is covering, although you may need the original surgeon to make decisions. Agree, for now take the pain killers, and take things very very easy. This too shall pass?

Taking meds as needed is tough, as got school run etc to do each afternoon although can in the mornings, as dh does morning school run and I'm off work at the moment. But, I can't just lay in bed assent want the children to see, yet again, a mummy that doesn't get up, so I get up and return to bed when they have gone to school/nursery. But, got to get on with stuff so as much as I would love, and feel that I need, to just spend a day or two doing nothing but popping pills and lying flat, it's just not possible. Not even at weekends, ad dh works weekend afternoons most weekends.

bella sorry to hear you had a second prolapse! but glad you finally recovered from it. Neurosurgeon has said he will not recommend a second discectomy as it will likely prolapse again if it's done it this time, he will be talking to me about removing the disc completely, ie, fusion. But there is a chance that this is not disc related, he has no idea what else it could be other than that the vertebrae has shifted out of place even more, and is clear if not the disc or vertebrae, then he can't do anything more surgically. On the one hand I don't want another prolapse due to what that means, but I also don't want it to show nothing, as that means there is no 'reason' coy this horrid pain. But, the MRI was beginning of December and it's for a lot worse since then so the results won't even be accurate, it's taken so long.

The neuro is back from leave, been back several weeks. Just not got around to checking the MRI, or it's been lost, or something. I spoke to the secretary and she made some excuse about it being to be reprinted (but i was hue impression he hah it sent directly to his computer file) and I am half expecting to be told it's gone missing and needs redoing! (Someone suggested maybe the scan is missing or something, hence being fobbed off). Anyway, whatever is going on. He is not in til tomorrow, she will chase things up, so it's going to be at least another week or two before I get some idea of what's actually going on.

It's s frustrating and I can't move forward, I am even worried about what exercise to do until I know what is going on.

And thanks magso, I am trying to take it easy, but, so much to do that can't be left, like looking after my not so babies who are 4 and 7 now. Just sort of lurching through the day til evening arrives and I can collapse with painkillers again.

Fingers crossed that your specialist looks at your case/MRI/new symptoms tomorrow. 4&7 is still very young.

Yeah, it is isn't it?! They are my babies, they need me so much, not just to cook (well rarely even that as DH does it these days) and clean and wipe cuts and bruises, but for fun,and laughter and Doing stuff. I want to relish taking dd diving, not look at effort involved and vaguely wonder if I should duck out this week and put a movie on for them instead. I didn't, and wouldn't, and when there and watch her jump off the 3m springboard for the firs time I burst with pride and am pleased I didn't duck out, but then have to do the journey home, with two tired hungry kids, and not just survive in their eyes, I have to enjoy them before they go to bed, when all I want to do it go to bed. But, it's almost time. Ds is asleep. Dd is doing some maths, completely of her own choosing (amazed, she picked up a maths practice book and is just steaming through it talking numbers to herself, lovely!) and is going to bed in 5 mins.

I can't even take them bloody swimming. Or swing them when we hold hands with DH. Or have dd hanging off my arm doing her skipping thing. I have been able to do that again since surgery, and no in the last week, I can't do that without wincing.

The surgeon won't look at it tomorrow. Secretary said she would chase it two weeks ago and he didn't look, so no reason to think he will do it tomorrow.

But. On the plus side. I had a bloody good cry for much of this morning and feel mentally a little better.

How are you oh anyway? Very selfish of me not to even ask.