Just got criticized for portion size for pre school packed lunch

[VixStarr]

My DS has just started at pre -school and i got advised today that I should give smaller portions. I am livid because even though I explained my reasons for giving larger sized portions I felt as I wasn't being listened to. I was told that I shouldn't feed him all the time ( he is a grazer) but he says he is hungry all the time - so what do i do not feed him?

I don't have a car so DS scoots/walks to pre school which is a mile away ( so its a two mile trip), he is very active - as in if you don't exercise him he gets very irritable/challenging, and more importantly i have never pushed this idea of having a clean plate as i come from a different cultural background. I must add that actually he walks 2 miles a day, every day regardless of its pre school or not thinking about it. I don't expect DS to eat all that I give him and he knows this. Although since starting pre school he thinks he has to eat everything which i am honestly baffled by.

But pre-school started trying to ply me with leaflets and this talk of the obseity crisis. Just for info he has had so far for lunch for pre school. Cheddar/courgette and carrot mini muffins/ mini fish cakes/ fish, rice and veg/ pasta with broccoli and tomato sauce. He has cheese, grapes, blueberries and a pot of plain yoghurt with passionfruit with the 'mains.'

So could someone please tell me a) specify what they give their children and how much particularly if they are active. DS is 98 cm and 14 kg b) how can i get across to DS that I don't mind if he doesn't eat all of his lunch c) try to get staff to understand that I actually don't overfeed my child d) tell me if i am actually in the wrong completely.

My 4yr old ds eats;
2 small wholemeal baps with oats on top (he's very specific about what bread and even butter I can use, he has to have a diary free butter spread). Cheese and ham filling.

Small satsuma/clementine or grapes
Small apple or banana

1 bag of walkers baked star crisps

1 tube yoghurt (because spoons never come home).

1 treat such as homemade cake portion or cookies.

Sometimes he likes an extra portion of cheese to nibble on like a babybel.

But I'm grateful that the school understands 4yr olds and they also get a biscuit or two in the afternoon to keep them going. I really really love the schools sensible approach to children.

Giles - I didn't know that, but interestingly DS gets breakfast at 7.30, snack at 10.30, lunch at 12.30, snack at 3, supper at 6, on school days. That pretty much fits 2/3 hours, especially as the snacks are small (fruit am, starch pm).

I think that there are two reasons for them saying what they are:

• the children will have a limited time to eat in and there are many more distractions around them than there are at home so they will probably eat more slowly
• most parents will send in what they expect/want their child to eat for lunch. Therefore, the staff will encourage the children to eat everything up as otherwise the child will get hungry.

At the same age, my DD has 3/4 of a sandwich (so two slices on bread make into a sandwich, cut into quarters but then I only gave her three of those as she never ate the fourth at pre-school so I just put it in the fridge for her to have mid-afternoon), something stodgy like a flapjack, chopped up fruit or veg. She'd then usually have a banana on the way home.

Frusso - could not agree more.

Covered, I actually went and spoke to the teacher at DS' school because he was being made to eat his starch-with-protein option, and not allowed fruit/veg and a yoghurt until it was all gone "because they're dessert". He's now allowed to eat what he wants and in what order, because the teacher told the lunchtime supervisor that was what he was used to. At his preschool they let him eat in whatever order because they knew I never gave anything they had to restrain him from starting on - other kids had whole kitkats (at 3...) and big bags of crisps, so they would say sandwiches first. You do need to offer all healthy options if allowing a kid to pick and mix, I think, or you do end up with kids who choose the fat and sugar options. But that's a whole different problem.

I think we all agree that children should never be forced to "eat up" mine stop when they are full.

I think the debate here is the portion size and the fact that he is constantly eating.

The food he gets sounds great a really healthy selection. I do believe though that there is no need for the frequency and that he can't possibly be hungry when he's eating ever 90 mins. I think he's to a degree eAting when he's not hungry which goes against everything the op claims to be working on.

mummy how are you dairy free with cheese and eggs?

Eggs aren't dairy

Yeah, I agree Giles. I think the OP's approach to food is really sensible, other than frequency. Offering food that often turns it into an activity rather than a means to satiate hunger.

Eggs aren't dairy. You can get soy cheese as well.

Eggs aren't dairy and the cheese is dairy free

The OP's child is on the 25th centile though, so there's nothing to suggest he is eating too much Maybe small amounts often suits him?

But they aren't small amounts really and just because a child is small now doesn't mean it stays that way if bad habits are adopted.

No he doesn't seem to be overweight now, but he won't always be doing that level of physical activity. He is potentially also being set up for overeating by never going hungry and constantly eating/snacking.

The stomach has stretch receptors that send a message to the brain when full; if we regularly overeat we adjust those stretch receptors so it takes more and more food to achieve a feeling of fullness. Over time, that can contribute to persistent overeating and obesity.

Oops I thought eggs came under dairy

Sorry! I'm not usually an idiot.

DS2 is a similar age and is also a grazer...he is about 15kg and 94cm.

He normally has:-
Rice Crispies/porridge/mini shredded wheat and milk

Fruit at Nursery or toast/fruit when at home

Small bag of breadsticks/babybel on way home from nursery

Lunch is wrap with chicken/cuecumber/pepper etc, small lump of cheese, yoghurt and fruit

Snack in afternoon is usually banana/raisons or small cake

Dinner is spag bol,curry, casserole,roast etc with another yoghurt and more fruit.

He only drinks water and has milk before he goes to bed.

I would say in terms of the amount of times he eats my DS is probably similar to yours. What about drink? Is he actually hungry or thirsty?

From memory, I think being hungry before meals is part of an active childhood, and most people find it's inconvenient to continue the grazing habit into adulthood, so encouraging children to eat at a convenient time, along with their peers, should be part of general education.