Cancer, how do I cope with the fear of it coming back.

[LadyPenny]

I recently finished my cancer treatment. I haven't had the all clear yet. I'm having a scan next month. I feel quite confident that my tumour will be gone though. I had internal and external radiotherapy and my doctors were very optimistic when I had a scan half way through my treatment.
My biggest fear now is that the cancer will return somewhere else iny body. I can't stop worrying about it. I will have checks every 3 months but I don't want to live my life worrying about it.
Does anyone have any experience and tips on how one copes with this.

LadyPenny, first of all, congratulations on getting through your treatment.
I had treatment for breast cancer in 2009. I had surgery, chemo and radiation, and am now at the five year "all clear" stage. I was in the USA (now back in UK) with Dh's job.
Emotionally, it's a long journey and it sounds as if you are at the start. First of all there's the rabbit in the headlights bit where you've had the diagnosis but don't know what's going to happen to you. At that point my GP, a delightful Indian lady with a very holistic approach told me "Just get the treatment" and what she was telling me was as long as I got everything that was available to me I was giving myself the best chance of recovery.
During treatment and visits to the oncologist I briefly tried googling numbers and percentages but gave up when I reasoned that if I tried to guarantee my future survival but then got hit by a bus it would all be useless anyway!
In truth, you are doing all you can to ensure a good outcome for you. Cancer treatment has never been as good or as advanced as it is now, and it gets better all the time. I was treated in the USA, but there is a gold standard of treatment that means I would have got the same treatment here.
Emotionally, you can feel very muddled up! I am glad you sound confident your tumour has gone, that shows positive thinking!
I felt cross towards people who would tell me "It's all in the past" as if I should forget about it. It has actually taken a long time to get back to being "me". Also, the treatment takes a physical toll on you. If they haven't been through it nobody understands how it feels, it's hard on you for a while. Give yourself time to recover. Take each day at a time.
There is a feeling of "What now?" When treatment stops. For now, I would only say trust that the professionals know what they're talking about.
Little by little, try and rebuild yourself, confidence, etc. One thing I did to move forward was to throw out everything that reminded me of that phase of illness, so I didn't get reminded of it all the time.
Talk to others online or in person who've had the same as you, but stop if it's hindering you moving forward.
I have a faith, which helps, but am not smug as it hasn't necessarily made me a brave person! Bit of a coward, really!
Friends have helped loads.
Good luck, let me know how you're doing.

Congrats, LadyPenny

I would bet my socks that one of the Tamoxigang ladies will pop over here to offer a hand, but just in case they're busy hanging up tinsel and don't spot your thread....

....the Tamoxigang crew are very good at tips for living with cancer/post cancer and all stages from investigation to ten years later. If it were me, I'd go and visit them and have a chat!

I've not had the same experience as you, but have had experience of life threatening illness and recovery from: as Helza says, there is a definite process and it takes time to regain confidence. Each check up, though still scary, took up less head space before and after, and worries inbetween checks diminished over time.

Wishing you the very best