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Friend with Cancer - Advice re-Gift please

2 replies

badasahatter · 08/12/2013 17:38

Friends of ours have just had some bad news. The mum got diagnosed with breast cancer a couple of weeks ago. We aren't 'best friend' close, but we are 'our kids are best friends' close. I love their kids like my own and therefore have a relationship with the parents. They are the loveliest family and I am so sad that this has hit.

The hospital have moved quickly and she will be in hospital just before Christmas. I have offered to help wherever and whenever I can, whether it's trips to the shops, hospital or childcare, or just an ear to bend. Whatever she needs, I'd like to help.

I would normally buy them both a token present for Christmas as well as their child so this year I thought I'd do a little pack for them. She will be out of hospital just before Christmas, so it should be well timed.

I thought I'd do a 'night in' pack...a funny dvd, some snacks, a couple of little bottles of wine. I know she might not fancy much, but I thought he'd have something too this way. For her, I've got a stress down pack from Arran Aromatics. She loves Scotland, so that's how I found the site. They do a pack where half the money goes to Maggies, an advice centre for cancer.

The pack has a band on it that tells you about Maggies and the work they do with cancer. Do I take it off, and just give her the unbranded pack? Or do I leave the band on? I feel like leaving it on is going on about cancer too much, but then I feel like leaving it off is ignoring the fact that she has this horrible disease.

Please advise. Does the pack idea sound ok? Should I leave the band on or take it off? And am I overthinking this???? thanks.

OP posts:
Frontdoorstep · 08/12/2013 18:18

Your idea sounds lovely. Personally I wouldn't give them anything that has anything to do with cancer, so i'd take the band off. Can you take the band off without anyone noticing that you had taken it off, I mean it's not going to be obvious that it's meant to contain something that refers to cancer is it and for some reason this one doesn't.

I have ms and I definitely wouldn't want to receive something that contained something with a link to an ms organisation. I wouldn't fall out with anyone over it and I wouldn't mention it, but I definitely would be a bit annoyed about it, I'd think, oh why am I getting something that reminds me of my ms. So I'd definitely wouldn't give someting that reminds her of her cancer.

Hope your friend is ok.

badasahatter · 08/12/2013 21:19

Thanks Frontdoorstep. We can take off the band easily. That was my first instinct to be honest, but I started to question myself! Sorry to hear about your MS. My friend's mum has that condition and it's merciless. Hope you have a good Christmas. And thanks again for being the voice of reason. x

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