PMT and the Rage

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For the majority of my life, my periods have been nothing more than a minor inconvenience. Relatively light, no major physical issues or even hormonal ones. After my second child about 5 years ago they did become heavier but again nothing particularly difficult to deal with. I do know I've been very lucky here and some people suffer their whole lives.

But now - in the last year - it starts about 24 hours before when I just want to crawl into a dark space and weep, then stomach cramps followed by migraines - all of which would be bad but I guess livable. The worse is the Rage - it builds up inside me and I find it really hard to control it.

This last weekend has been a disaster - hence posting now - a couple of other issues including my father having major surgery have added to the stress levels. I spent the weekend either avoiding the family because I knew I was struggling to control my emotions or exploding at DH because he questioned how I was putting a bike lock on one of the kids bike's. Even the kids got caught up in the storm although I tried my best to avoid this - but sometimes I just feel like I will implode with emotion. Come Monday 48 hours after my period started and as always the Rage has past and I'm left with the tail end of the weeping.

Any one else? Or more importantly any one else with tips on how to control this. I'm 43 so don't know if the change is due to my age and potentially maybe moving towards menopause, not sure what else it could be to have caused the change. But god I could do with some help to improve things. Thanks

Hello ladies,

Another one that suffers from the rage! Mostly with DH (poor thing he is lovely) but can be with colleagues, friends, road rage the lot! In fact I wrote off my brand new MINI Cooper when I was on a few years ago Mine usually starts a few days before AF and lasts until approx day 9-10 of my cycle. Then I'm high as a kite the rest of the days it's crazy.

What I believe has helped is taking starflower oil, I take two capsules a day and a good multi vitamin. Agnus castus is supposed to be good too as was being on the contraceptive pill.

I've packed my bags to leave before because of the rage! It's crazy!!
Mefenic acid or however you spell it is a godsend for the migraines. It's the only thing I've found that touches them.

In fact i think the starflower defo works as two other things I did whilst raging a few years ago: chucked a massive cup of coffee after arguing with DH (coffee splashes are still on ceiling ) and chucked my 4 in 1 rice cooker slow cooker on the floor denting it (it was an amazing wedding gift!)

I know I sound like a psycho bitch but the rage won! My rages are nowhere near as bad anymore.

Thanks tulip - I'm off to get some starflower oil to add to the supplements I'm already taking. You can't take too many, right?

Oh, and you're not the only one to damage things due to the rage! Our bathroom door handle fell off after I slammed it one too many times. How ridiculous!

I hit my bedside lamp off the table the other night and broke it, my language can be awful too during my rages, I feel completely ashamed.

Hello,

I'm completely awful for the week leading up to af. I scream and shout and get horrible anxiety. I too take it out on dp, though the kids get caught in the carnage too.

I just feel that the whole world is trying to royally fuck me off, I feel like screaming at shop assistants and people who stand in my way. I worry constantly about anything and everything and convince myself I've got some serious crippling illness.

I'm 36 and my periods are a bit unsettled, between 32 and sometimes 42 days, the bigger the gap the longer the rage!
My mum had an early menopause, so I'm hoping I will too, does everything just miraculously settle down post menopause? Or will there be a whole new hormone hell to deal with? Daren't google it as I'm entering angry town and it may tip me into the abyss,

Huck - it may be worth trying to access some talking therapy if you are reluctant to go down the ad route, even if you think the cause is time limited - anxiety has a tendency to become habit long after the original cause has gone.

I was actually amazed at how easy it is now. When i had a breakdown about 10 years ago it took an absolute age to get any help via the nhs and even then the service was quite frankly shit. I survived the breakdown but was left with an anxiety disorder. This time it has been done through self referral (info came from gp but didn't need her to set it up), and i can start treatment within a couple of weeks.

I'm guessing this will vary hugely depending on where you are though but here's a link to the service i've accessed to give you some idea. I'm hoping that this will help stop the pmt triggering the anxiety.

It is sad that there are so many of us enduring this month after month, but i'm so grateful to you all for sharing - no-one in rl (apart from those who have the misfortune to live with me) understand at all how extreme it is.

Been thinking about supplements - does anyone know if agnus castor is safe when breastfeeding? Can only find reference to it not being safe in pregnancy.

Interesting how the link between anxiety and PMS seems so strong for lots of people. Dh said to me at the dreaded time of the month last month about how anxious I seemed about stuff that would never normally phase me. I don't have a history of anxiety though and I'm certainly not overly anxious outside of that phase of the month. I did suffer PND after my first baby and took ads but have been off them for years and I know I'm not depressed now.

I so identify with op. (sorry forget name) who said about nobody in rl realising how bad it is. It's really not something I talk about with family or friends - not been my closest ones - I guess I'm ashamed and I do manage to hide it from everyone but my dh and poor children. That's why it's such a relief to find this thread. It makes me normal.

Lurcher, on the box of angus castus I have it says do not take if pregnant or breast feeding. Frustrating. Maybe there are other supplements you could take though. I've heard positive things about b6 and can't see anything in the guidance notes on that re breast feeding so it might be ok?

Thanks Maisy. I'll leave trying that until ds gives up his boob habit. Thanks for the advice re the mirena coil as well - think i'm going to give it a miss.

Hi everyone, well I've just been back to the doctors and now have B6 on repeat prescription, things aren't perfect but only had one day of being really bad instead of up to 14 last month and it's probably unrealistic to expect me never to be in a bad mood ever

I'm also planning on drastically cutting bad on sugar and refined carbs in the new year as I've read that this will also help. I'm as daunted by this as I was by giving up smoking!

Pleased that you're feeling a bit more positive msmoss. You're so right tact it's unrealistic to expect never to get moody! It's going to happen sometimes, but for me I guess it's about trying to keep things level and rationale. Interesting that GP prescribed B6 - I didn't realise they did that? I've been taking it for a few weeks now and keeping fingers crossed it'll make a difference.