High anxiety over breast lump

[mintymellons]

Please help, I'm getting myself into a right state and not sure why really.
To cut a long story short, I saw my go three weeks ago today as I'd felt a sort of bump in my right breast. I noticed it because I had a tender area in that side in the week before my period. It's hard to describe what's there, it's not a specific lump, more just a bumpy area, soft.
Gp couldn't feel anything and told me nothing to worry about. I then saw another Gp later that week as I was still concerned and she said that she thought I was just feeling normal breast tissue and no discrete lump and to leave it alone! She did however say I could go back and have it checked again at another point in my cycle (was a few days pre menstrual before). So I have an appointment this Friday with yet another Gp to see if she thinks there's anything there.
I'm now so worried about going back and it's all I can think about.
The bumpy thing is very hard to feel unless you're really looking for it and on several occasions I couldn't find it and thought it had gone. I'm going back to go as it was suggested although clearly no one is concerned about it (apart from me!!).
I'm driving myself mad over what seems to be nothing but keep thinking.
Can anyone calm me down please?!

[Tistheseasontobedramatic]

I had the same thing and worried over the last couple of
months. I went back to
my GP who noticed hardened tissue and referred me to the breast clinic. The referral time is very quick and I
saw a fantastic consultant who had a check and a mammogram and told me I had nothing to worry about. I'm sure you'll be fine but ask for a referral to the breast clinic.

[Tistheseasontobedramatic]

Sorry, just saw that you have been referred. The wait is horrible but I'm sure you'll be fine. Fingers crossed for you.

[Ifcatshadthumbs]

Hi minty yes the timing sucks. Glad you have your referral atleast you will be thoroughly checked over.

I think the only way forward for the time being is to stop prodding and definitely don't google!

[LittleMouseontheDairy]

I'm having trouble with the private referral actually. There's a private clinic in town I live in, and they ask for GP referral. So when I went to the surgery to pick up my appointment letter for the NHS appointment I spoke to the appointments secretary (cried on her too) and she was very nice and helpful - said she would get the form filled in, signed by the GP, and faxed over to this clinic. She also said she wouldn't cancel my NHS appt until after my private one, so that I was 'still in the system' for the time-being. I mentioned that my GP disliked private referrals and she said I shouldn't worry about that, it was my body etc.

I got a call from her about half an hour ago to say that she had spoken to my GP, who didn't want me to have the private appointment as the NHS one is a 3-step process and not just a simple ultrasound. However as a compromise they are hoping to see if I can get an earlier NHS appt.

In the meantime my mum seems to have secured me an ultrasound in a private hospital in the area. They didn't require a GP referral so I'm not sure how that worked. Although I know there are clinics in Harley St that also do it without referral (you just have to pay a LOT of money...)

I'm slightly worried (ha - anyone noticing a theme here?!) that I'm going to end up in no-man's land now. I.e. a not very-thorough private appointment that shows something of concern on the scan. But due to the nature of the situation I am not able to properly discuss or plan any procedures and will be left feeling even more fretful before my NHS appointment...

Sorry for long ranty post.

Agree it is a lousy time of year for this. Obviously it's never fun but with all the festive events coming up etc it would be nice to be able to enjoy them without a black cloud over your head.

[malteserzz]

I felt that I couldn't wait for 2 weeks so rang a local private hospital and got an appointment for the same day. I had a mammogram, ultrasound, biopsies and consultant meeting so got a diagnosis while I was there, it all cost £1000 though !

[mintymellons]

Oh littlemouse that sounds stressful. The waiting is awful and I only have a few days. I hope you get an earlier appointment one way or another.

[mintymellons]

Just a thought, could I ask how old the people on this thread are? I'm 39.

[malteserzz]

I'm 42, was 41 when I was diagnosed

[mintymellons]

Thanks Malteserzz. It's kind of you to offer support. I can't imagine how you must feel.

[mintymellons]

Lord, I'm scaring myself witless reading BC stats. I need to step away from Dr Google ;)

[malteserzz]

Don't google !
9 out of 10 lumps are harmless, I know lots of people who have been referred to the clinic and all has been fine

[Ifcatshadthumbs]

No no no to google! Honestly no good ever comes from it.

[Tistheseasontobedramatic]

Don't google! I googled and burst into tears! And don't prod, it makes it more painful and you more aware.
I'm 34 Btw.

[mintymellons]

You're all right! I've just sobbed all over DP when he came home. Poor man. Luckily he is very much a 'keep things in perspective' kind of person.

[craftysewer]

I've been to my GP this morning after finding a lump. My appointment was at 10.40am. He said he would refer me to the breast clinic today. By 12.15 the hospital rang and I'm booked in for next Friday. Okay, it's Friday the 13th, but trying not to be superstitious! I had a scare 6 years ago and everything was okay, so keeping fingers crossed this time will be the same. Sending hugs to everyone going through it at the moment.

[mintymellons]

Hello Crafty.
Sorry to hear you're in the same boat but hopefully it'll be good news all round next week.
I've hit the wine bottle this evening which is working well, but not a long term solution!!

[LittleMouseontheDairy]

I've hit the gin! Agree it's a good temporary solution at least
Here's to good news all round next week, as you say. My appt is on Thurs (NHS one, had to abandon private appt plan).

[LittleMouseontheDairy]

I'm 35 btw.

[mintymellons]

That's good Littlemouse. Not too long and should be more thorough with the NHS. I'm sure this experience is character building (or something). :)

[mintymellons]

How are people feeling today?
I'm still a mess. Had hair appointment this morning and just kept thinking about losing it with chemo. Then went into town to do a bit of Xmas shopping and kept feeling overwhelmed with all of the festivities. DP had taken DC to visit their grandpa who is in the throes of chemo for his bowel cancer. Was glad I had a reason not to go with them today.
Think we're going to put the tree up this afternoon and again I'm struggling with the idea of making merry.
I seriously need to get a grip. Am going to look into getting some help for my health anxiety as it's no way to go on.

[craftysewer]

Because I had a scare 6 years ago and everything turned out okay, I am trying to be positive. But was awake until early hours last night thinking about things and wondering if I will be so lucky again. Am keeping busy but it still creeps in. Hardest thing I find is DH has the attitude "if you can't do anything about it, why worry?" It's not that he doesn't care, I know he does, and previously this attitude has balanced us out (I can be quite emotional). Just taking each day as it comes. It's nIce being able to stay in touch with people on here.

[LittleMouseontheDairy]

Hi MintyMelons and Craftysewer,
I'm not doing brilliantly really - similar to Minty I was thinking about my hair today and how I'd cope with losing it with chemo - DS loves to grab a bunch of it and twiddle it in his ear, it's a comfort thing and this upsets me more than the usual reasons for dreading it.
My breast has this near-constant low level ache or throbbing, which makes me picture sinister goings-on within, and also means it's hard to stop thinking about it! I'm also now paranoid that prodding and squeezing it so much could have caused any cancer within it to 'burst' and spread. I know this is ridiculous! But it's a sign of how I am dealing with it all (ie how badly I'm doing!)
Also like you Minty, I'm wondering if I need to start seeking methods to deal with my anxiety. Because even if (please please) this turns out to be alright, I need to be able to cope with future worries as well.
It's all partly because of breaking up with DS's dad and feeling so ultra-concerned about not being there for him. It terrifies me. And I need to stop being so scared I think.
Anyway- do hope we can all try and relax and have a nice evening. I've got Strictly on record and am reaching for some wine...

[mintymellons]

Hope everyone's made it through the weekend alright. I've actually been better than I thought. I enjoyed putting the tree up yesterday and have tried to keep positive today ( with varying degrees of success).
My lump seems to have become quite prominent now and is quite tender. I haven't been prodding it either. This is how I first noticed it last month and the tenderness went with my period. The lump was less defined last month and then I thought it had gone, but it seems to have increased in size in the last week or so. I'm really hoping that it's going to turn out to be some sort of hormonal change, maybe a cyst or something. We shall see...

[mintymellons]

Sorry Littlemouse meant to say it's understandable that you feel the way you do. It's bloody terrifying. Easily the scariest thing I've dealt with in my 39 years.

[DontWannaBeObamasElf]

I've been referred to the breast clinic for a lump (GP thinks it's a cyst). I've been put through as just a routine referral so can take up to 5 weeks. I've also been referred to an occupational therapist for my health anxiety. I'm 25.