Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

General health

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

muscle deterioration - anorexia

30 replies

wontletmesignin · 25/11/2013 13:37

I have been doing so well with my eating the past year.
I have had bad bouts, but no where near as bad as i have been in the past.

I think i have actually managed to change my pattern of thinking around it. Which has helped.

Today though, i finally looked at myself in the mirror with my vest top on and my bones look like they are protruding more than they were a few months ago.
Tbh they look the worst they have ever been!

I weighed myself at my parents house the other day and im ok. Im 6stone which is a safe zone for me. Im 5ft so not as bad as it sounds. although it probably is

I was at the doctors last month having my implanon changed and the nurse kept commenting on how i had no muscle.

I was a littlw worried. But she didnt seem too concerned so i let it go.

Could my muscle going away be the reason behind my more boney structure?
And could that also be the case why my weight is the same. Since i have dkne well with my eating. I have lost the muscle but gained some weight - which has just kept my weight at the 6st mark?

Is muscle loss a cause for concern?

OP posts:
TheSinisterTrifle · 25/11/2013 23:02

"Is muscle loss a cause for concern?"

Errmm yes. A big yes. A HUGE yes.

wontletmesignin · 25/11/2013 23:16

How and why?
Obviously, i know its not normal. But why was the nurse not too bothered by it?

According to the dentist, i am also losing bone density.
I just dont understand why, if it is as serious as i thought it was, why nobody is pointing me in any direction? I am just left with these bit of info...

OP posts:
wontletmesignin · 25/11/2013 23:28

Most importantly - can i fix this?

OP posts:
BumgrapesofWrath · 25/11/2013 23:37

Muscle deterioration can cause the heart to become weak therefore leading to heart failure. You need to see a doctor

Cailleach · 25/11/2013 23:39

Won't when your body runs out of fat to burn for fuel (in the absence of food) it begins to consume your muscles instead.

Your heart is a muscle...I want you to think about that for a minute.

A similar thing happens with your bones: if you are lacking in calcium your body can remove it from your bones..for a while anyway.

Losing bone and muscle density is a sign that your body is quite literally starving; in the absence of food, it is eating itself.

Please go to your GP and ask for a referral to an eating disorder specialist.

wontletmesignin · 26/11/2013 11:18

Thank you all.

I have been eating better and more consistebtly than what i have in the past.
It doesbt make sense to me how my body seems to ve getting worse when i do actually start tryig.

The only thing i can think of is that recently i have had to start walking to schools and nursery instead of the car. I always walked for pick up, bt not drop of. Drop off is the hardest and longest.
It takes an hour. So im walking a long way an hour every morning now.
Then a 45 minute walk for pick up.
Also a 40 minute walk in the afternoon for nursery pick up.

That is the only thing i can think of that may be affecting me

OP posts:
Naicecuppatea · 26/11/2013 11:38

The large amount of walking will obviously be using more energy/calories and you need to adjust your food intake to allow for this. This may explain why your body is breaking down your muscles as your food intake is not high enough to provide the energy (and you have no fat to burn off).

It sounds very worrying and you need to see your Dr/specialist for a thorough checkup and get some treatment urgently as you have no idea what is going on internally with your body.

If you have had anorexia for some time your body will be weakened by it in the first place.

Hope you're okay xx

Naicecuppatea · 26/11/2013 11:40

You can hopefully fix it by either stopping walking (prob not an option), or by improving your eating. If your nurse isn't being helpful could you see someone else?

Rooners · 26/11/2013 11:46

Hiya - I have been there, in fact 6st was my lowest roughly (stopped checking at that point as I was too scared!) and I am 5ft7.

I found that exercise was Ok once I got going with eating more. But this was a bit of a dodgy time - until you settle into a better pattern it is hard to know what is working and what isn't.

What worked well for me was stopping eating so much chocolate and sweets, and actually eating plain food like rice and bread and pasta. That felt like it was sticking iykwim. Things with too much fat or sugar just kept me feeling too full to eat.

Also I had to drink a bit more than I was, as being dehydrated made me feel like I had no appetite.

Exercise can be built into it once you get going but for the time being I would treat yourself as fragile, and not do too much...you can build muscle with enough calories but till then, you're just running on empty.

PM me if you have actual questions that no one will answer - I found that very frustrating, people think 'why are you even asking that' but actually these q's can be the difference to people like us between not eating, and eating. So I understand x

(ps am now 9st and have been for around 10 years but still have issues)

Rooners · 26/11/2013 11:49

also - I had to work that lot out for myself, because I couldn't listen to other people on this topic at all. They hadn't been there so they didn't have a clue what it was about, however well they meant - counsellors, ED specialists etc. Nope. I waited till they all gave up and then demanded some space so I could do it myself - you can't put on weight if you feel like everyone's watching you going 'ha ha, see, you lose, we were right'!

Also people trying to scare me just made me freeze, so them saying 'you will die of a heart attack' or stuff like that wasn't terribly good. You can see straight through shock tactics.

wontletmesignin · 26/11/2013 14:51

Rooners - i completely understand!
I have had this since i was ...since i can remember. My fortisip milkshakes used to sit alongslide my nappies.

Thank you for sharing your story. It is good to hear that you are doing so well. You have came a long way. Well done!

I am really making a conscious effort to eat more.
Stopping the walking isnt an option. Unfortunately.

Yup the scare tactics...they already scare me. It doesnt kick me into action though. Im already doing what i can.

I feel i need to see a specialist in order to fully understand exactly what i an dealing with.

A therapist once said - in order to start recovery, i need to find the root of it all.
How can i do that when i was too young to even remember?
I remember beig taken to hospital for checks and things, and remember my milkshakes. Which i think i might ask for some just with the added walking. I could do with a boost.
But i was far far too young to know exactly when or how it started.
Under 3 for certain.
So my body would have been damaged.
I have only once been in the position where my organs were starting to shut down.
I was bed bound for two weeks. That was wheb i was 17-18. Im now 26.

Twice i have had a dizzy spell..or what seemed more like a fit. My entire body shook and i fell to the floor. The second time i passed out. That wasnt too long ago. In june/july this year.

Thank you for your offer of pm also.
I am seeing my therapist tomorrow i will ask him if he can dk anything about the fortisips.

OP posts:
Rooners · 26/11/2013 16:24

Hiya Smile

I never did figure out the root of it - loads of therapy and so on, it didn't get me very far.

The only thing that worked was when other people didn't try any more...I couldn't get referred to be an inpatient, at an ED unit, and part of me didn't want to anyway.

And I think I was expecting someone else to sort it out. But then I realised that no one was going to and I isolated myself and I started to eat. I had to wait till they had all given up and had enough. I was too embarrassed to eat in front of them in case they thought it was them that had made me get better...it had to be utterly in my own control.

Anyway I just decided I had to face it myself and stop looking the other way or I was going to die.

I hope you get somewhere, take care xxx

wontletmesignin · 26/11/2013 16:38

Yes - that was the same for me. It was too difficult with the support. As strange as that sounds. They made me feel like i would never get better and the recovery would take s very long time.

I feel i do ok on my own. It seems this increase in walking has caused this phase im in now. But i do want to do something about it - and i am.
This specialist person will be good to look at maybe differen factors as to why i am the way i am. Whether it is anorexia or not. Yes i am clinically anorexic but other than i dont feel iam.
Denial some might say. But im not denying an eating disorder. I am disagreeing with it being anorexia.
Countless arguements with the doctors over it.
They just keep going to "you are...clinically" i know...but that specific eating disorder is not the reason behind why i am clinically anorexic. God i hope that makes sense lol

OP posts:
wontletmesignin · 26/11/2013 16:46

Thank you for sharing. Honestly! It makes me believe that i can do this. The same way you did.
You should be proud of yourself as i know how hard it is. Even after years of being well. I understand the battle is always there.
You must be very strong. Well done, really well done! Thank you for giving me hope too xxx

OP posts:
Rooners · 26/11/2013 16:55

I dunno about strong. I think I just had a choice to make though that sounds very simplistic.

I know what you mean about arguing with Drs. They don't have a clue - usually.

I found that the worst support possible was people trying to get me to eat. The thing is, it's nothing to do with eating - not in the way they see it. All they see is, dangerously thin person who needs to eat.

But all you want is someone to engage with you as a person and look past the eating because that is the way in. It's a bit like looking glass land to most people who have never had it.

I wasn't classically anorexic either. I think it's called secondary - where the cause isn't thinking you're thin. I had to diagnose that myself - I knew I was thin. I was scared but I was afraid to eat, because I felt too full all the time and was afraid of making myself sick by mistake.

I needed to know what to eat, and how much, and what was safe if you like - but no one knew or cared about that, no one had those answers. I had to find my way there myself including accepting I might get it wrong sometimes.

I think it began when I was a child, as part of a generalised anxiety. Not as young as you but still.

Then I overate when I was a teenager, and got so afraid I couldn't stop, that I went the other way. I still wonder if it will come back in some way - but I am very odd about eating even now.

Don't know if any of this is remotely interesting but anyway - if anything helps then that's good. You sound v intelligent and though I know you can't get out of this fix right now, you have got a good chance of doing so when you get to the point where you can trust something, yourself maybe, I don't know - or maybe not trust, but feel like it doesn't matter so much if things do go a bit wrong sometimes.

Meanwhile try not to freak out and do what YOU need not what other people tell you to do.

It took me ages to get there, but it can be done. Flowers

wontletmesignin · 26/11/2013 17:06

That does help!
I am like that - i know i am thin and underweight, and worry about it. I als worry that if i over eat, i will make myself sick. Then i worry that i will become bullemic.

Sometimes i can eat as an average person would. Especially if i had/have a certain taste for a particular food.
Then other times it seems so hard to eat, that the easiest option is to say "oh ill eat something soon", and then not get round to it. By the time i do get round to it, i no longer feel hungry.

Its just complicated

OP posts:
goodasitgets · 26/11/2013 17:11

Could you manage to drink a shake if you made it yourself? I have slightly disordered eating and if I can't eat I can usually face a shake (I make both hot and cold ones)

wontletmesignin · 26/11/2013 17:17

Yes i could. I could start getting th build up milkshakes again. They were good.
Are they as good as i thought they were?

OP posts:
Rooners · 26/11/2013 17:19

I thought they tasted nice but they never made me put any weight on Smile

goodasitgets · 26/11/2013 17:30

I make my own using banana, powdered peanut butter, oats and milk (either hot or cold)
Make sure you are eating protein too for muscle growth even if its tiny bits at a time

wontletmesignin · 26/11/2013 21:43

Thank you both. This post, i felt awkward when i posted it. But it has increased my determination to get better. So thank you for that.

I have listened to what you have both said and taken bits, and acted.

Making my own shakes isnt going to work yet. As im just not feeling it. I have gone and ordered a diet shake thing. Which sounds bad, but is extremely good at giving you the vitamins and nutrients your body needs, especially to build muscle mass.
I have also got protein shakes. Tubs so theu wont run run out too quick.
I have had a good luck at all of the things i need and have developed a meal plan. With the help of google. I specifically looked up each group of lean proteins, fruits, vegetables, dairy, fats and grains.
I have then taken out the things i know i will have no problems eating.
With that, my meal plan came together. Along with an anorexic recovery food time plan. Which is eating small portions every 2 to 3 hours.
Which gets in 3 meals and 3 snacks.

It doesnt look as daunting as it sounds, and i dont think i will have a problem sticking to it.
I think the problem will be consistency. But im hoping, even if i get two to three days of sticking to this meal plan - i will feel better within myself. Enough to encourage me to maintain it - even for another few days.
If i can get that ball rolling, with positivity. Then hopefully, if i do dip (which i will), it wont be too hard to get back on the ball!

Thank you

OP posts:
goodasitgets · 26/11/2013 22:10

Nope shakes like that are good, and the protein ones. You can mix them with water or milk or almond milk Smile well done

HotDogSlaughter · 26/11/2013 23:31

Good luck op you sound very focussed!

Naicecuppatea · 27/11/2013 13:11

Best of luck OP, sounds like a good plan. Take care of yourself.

wontletmesignin · 29/11/2013 13:34

Thank you all.

I have stuck to my plans and im on my 3rd or 4th day of consistent eating. My hunger levels arent even coming into question. I am just eating when it is time to eat.
So far so good. I am actually enjoying the strict routine i have put myself on!

Just wondered if it was normal to feel so tired?
Im guessing that will ease off over time, and im assuming it is just my body getting used to the increase in food?

I am really looking forward to seeing how i am after 2 weeks of this.

OP posts: