help me stop the nasty thoughts in my head

[misdee]

this transplant stuff is screwing with my mind.

sorry misdee but i dont know your history to help but someone will i am sure

What is it that you think about Misdee or would you rather not say?

(its Nbg if your wondering)

Oh misdee, it's bound to.

You have so much on your plate and for such a long time now.

Pour it all out here, you know you can.

xx

i pray each night for a heart to come up, but it means i want someone to die.

i dont want anyone to die, but i dont want peter to be stuck in limbo forever either, or for him to die.

It is just the circle of life misdee.

I think thats more than normal to think like that.

Is perfectly natural for you to want Peter to be better and sadly the bottom line is that for him to be better is if someone dies.
Not really nice to think about admittedly but that is the truth of the matter.

Sorry if that was a bit blunt.

{{hugs}} to you.

i know, i know, but it doesnt make me feel better.

i have been leaflet-ing all week, and i am just frazzled. how much more can i do? how much more can i take?

its got to be peter soon, hasnt it? 17months in total, on and off the list. that call has to be coming.

its a good job its not me waiting for a transplant cos with my blood type i'd be dead already at this rate.

praying for a heart to come up is not praying for someone to die Misdee. You know that really, please don't feel guilty

I always read about your story and think 'wow'. I really hope it's Peter's call soon

where ever the heart comes from, that person either carried or made their wishes known that they wanted to help someone in the event of their death. It is normal to feel as you do.

it better comer soon. i want my week of madness and soon!

My Children have been talking about transplants this week - with all the publicity etc. It has made me realise that I would feel better if a loved one became a donor - at least some good would come from a bad situation.(We are already registered, but now know that the kids are happy with the situation.) However, I don't envy the staff who have to broach the subject with the families at such a time.

My heart goes out to you. No-one is dying just to save someone else, but if someone IS saved then everyone benefits. Our prayers our with your family.

Misdee, I know not everyone agrees... but there IS a belief that everyone has there time to die.. and it's all chosen and arranged before that person is even born. So by this way of thinking, if someone dies and Peter gets their heart, it's because they were supposed to die then. A great many people believe that when your number is up, it's up even if they don't subscribe to the other stuff. If this is the case (and I think it is) then when Peter gets a heart, it will be because it was someone's time to die.. nothing else.

(((hugs)))

SJ x

Misdee - it isn't about wanting someone to die - people Do die - it's about wanting someone who has sadly died, to have had the forethought and generosity to offere themselves as a donor. You are hoping that amongst the many many people who die unnecessarily and sadly, one, at least is a doneo.
And whatever you hope, it won't cause someone to die. People do die....what people don't do enough, is offere themselves as donors.

Of course you want there to be a heart for peter. No-one will hate you for that - don't feel badly about your hopes for his life.

And Peter's life will be a testament to the generosity of the donor.

I have a donor card. I don't want it to be used (thank you) but the fact that I have one means, to me, that there is something a little good that could be done out of death.

i carry a donor card so i can make life possible for other people.... the last thing i would want is for them to have guilt about my dying.... i dont know your story but big hugs to you!!!!

was just about to type almost exactly what Blu just did!!!!

thanks. i have just waffled on on my blog as well.

Again, I was about to say what Blu did.

misdee, there'd be something bloody odd about you if you didn't have strange thoughts, your life is so stresfull. And what kind of person would you be if you didn't think about the source of the heart? Of course it's a time of sadness as well as hope. But with so many people dying needlessly every day anyway, why shouldn't your Peter finally get a chance? Not as if you could hand the heart back and save the initial life is it?