So worried and down :(

[patienceisvirtuous]

I am having an awful time :(

Sometime in July/August this year I started getting back pains and went to GP who diagnosed me with a kidney infection (said there was blood in my urine). I took antibiotics, seemed to work, but within a few weeks I was back with same issue. Got more antibiotics. I went on holiday a week later and had horrible back pain all holiday - what I can only describe as a vile feeling in my mid-back. It ran up to my head and knocked me sick a few times.

So, returned from holiday, went to GP who referred me for bloods and a back xray. I also had a patch of psoriasis on my back which I got steroid cream for and it cleared. Bloods and xray all clear. In meantime I suddenly developed weird aches in both my arms and legs - couldn't work out whether it was bone, muscle or joint pain or all three. I ended up going to a&e after a scary episode where my arm muscles (right arm) spasmed/cramped and wouldn't relax :( After that I had more bloods taken for bone/auto-immune stuff. Again, all clear except slightly slow kidney function (have to return in three months for follow up). Doc thinks back pain is mechanical and I need to swim/take mild painkillers which I am doing...

...but the mid-back pain and now joint pains still persist daily. Quite often my back feels icy cold too (although it's warm to touch). My thoracic vertebrae are tender, my ribs and sternum and breastbone are tender. My stomach is also cramping (like hunger pains but even after I've just eaten). And now I have a tight chest and a cough and some shortness of breath.

I have convinced myself I have all sorts of cancers. I will admit that I have made things much worse by using Google to try and find out what the eff is going on. Now I am fixated on lung cancer - mainly because of the horrible back pain and associated stuff re ribs and cough etc. I am 35, never smoked, eat a balanced diet but don't exercise much; I'm normal weight. In my rare positive/rational moments I tell myself that none of these factors mean I couldn't have it but I am a low risk category.

I feel so consumed by what's happened to my body that I can't function properly. I feel so low and frightened and cry all the time. It's affecting every aspect of my life :( DP and I were about to start ttc now but I am too scared to now until I can feel confident I don't have something awful.

I feel like I'm having a nervous breakdown :( I can't work out whether there is something seriously wrong with me or I'm having an episode of full-blown health anxiety :(

I am seeing my doc on Monday again. I am going to ask re lungs and whether back pain could be a red herring. I am also going to mention coeliac disease because my dad has it and I read that joint pain can be a precursor to intestinal issues. Hopefully he can give me some further tests/reassurances.

Sorry, this is a long boring post about my health. I think I just needed to get it all down... It seems only a few months ago I was happy and normal and looking forward to so much; now it feels like I'll never get back there :(

I know I've given lots of detail but wondered if anyone had been through anything similar and would like to share?

Sorry this has happened to you. I can sympathise about back pain, I have shoulder and neck pain constantly and it's agony.

When you go to your gp you have to say its affecting the quality of your life and you can't function day to day that's when they will take you seriously.
Hope you get better soon.

and too as you are on that thread.

I certainly do not know much of this but am more than happy to bump. I would say not to google. I did that once, and came up with 5 iyswim. I was way off mark.

I would say keep warm, though I say that for just about every ailment. Warmth certainly helps me. Direct warmth and a warm room.

Glad you are seeing the doctor again. Have you had health anxiety before as you mentioned that?

ELR. Do you have arthritis in your neck. I do and that gives me back and shoulder ache and migraines. But now I have better posture and was given a few exercises by the physio which help. And that warmth which I mentioned.

Yes I agree - it's fatal to google cause it can get quite frightening and you can imagine that you've all sorts of terrible things. I feel real sympathy with you patienceisvirtuous Keep on at that doctor of yours until he nails it!! They do take time to identify things some times.
Let us know how you get on and hope you feel better soon.

for the kind replies Trish and ELR :)

I will definitely tell the gp how much it is affecting me :(

I haven't had health anxiety before but I do have a history of some anxiety.

My bloods came back as clear for arthritis.

It's like something feels really wrong but I am no further forward and worrying myself into a frenzy :-(

We are in the process of moving house too so I could do with being super fit but all I wanna do is get into bed. I am working full time but I am on auto pilot at the minute.

I am sorry to hear you both have health issues too.

Thanks who. I know. I won't be doing it again although the damage is done now as once I started I couldn't stop obsessing :-(

Yes. That is the trouble with googling health stuff.
I would practice posture anyway even if you dont have any arthritis. I dont know where some of those places you mentioned are in the body . I will have a look later. I now have better posture when sleeping and better posture what sitting down, especially when seated at a computer.

You have a lot on your plate, which isnt helping. Have you got people or friends to help with the move?

Sorry trish, see that's me with my Google knowledge using medical terms

I am definitely trying to practise better posture. I sit at a pc all day. And have big boobs

Yes, my wonderful parents and DP will help with the move :-)

I once went to a reliable trustworthy chirpractor [know him through relatives], and he suggested I have a breast reduction as I too have big boobs. I am not remotely one for vanity, but he said that I am very top heavy. I have a petite frame but large boobs. And he said it would help my upper back to have less weight up top as it pulls on me. I havent had it done, but I do bear that in mind.

Hello there! This is the first time I've posted, so forgive me if I don't use the correct acronyms! Firstly, it wasn't a long and boring post and it probably helped to type what you're feeling.

What a miserable time you are having and I hope you get some relief soon. I can echo what the others have said about google. When you're continually feeling ill it is very easy to feel out of control and in some respects googling what could be the cause can help you to take some control back. But, as you've found out, it's not helping at all and just increasing your anxiety - so, knock it on the head !

Do not under estimate the effect that stress, worry and anxiety can have on your body - I am not saying that this is all in your head, but rather that you could be exacerbating your symptoms. Your natural rhythm of breathing is affected by all of these things, and this is one of the areas of your body that is giving you pain and discomfort.

You mention that you had x-rays and that they were clear - did this include a neck x- ray or just a back one? As mentioned by Trish5000 arthritis in this area can cause similar symptoms in the torso.

Your GP should know this, but you are entitled to physiotherapy on the NHS so I would also ask if you can be assessed by a physiotherapist. Just telling you to do some exercise won't help if you have strained something - you will probably need targeted strengthening and stretching exercises. The tenderness around the thoracic area of the spine, sternum, ribs and feeling breathless could be a muscular strain. Have you lifted anything heavy or twisted your torso in some way?

Just for interest, I was taking the an antibiotic called "Cipro" a few years ago and had a nasty experience with it. One of the symptoms was the "icy back" that you describe. To me it felt as is ice cold water was being injected along my spine. I actually had to stop taking them about 3 days in and switched to amoxicillin.

Anyway, that's my tuppence worth! Good luck with the doctor on Monday.

fwiw, I think that is a very good first post FarFromTheMaddingCrowd. You might find it useful to have a play with the buttons around the edges of your screen. Including the acronyms one.

I forgot to mention that I had physio. And basically, the pain that I had was coming out in a different area from where the problem was iyswim. We are fortunate to have a walk in physio centre. Absolutely wonderful. Many people take full advantage of it. No GP referal is necessary on some days.

Even if you do end up doing that, I still think you will need to see your GP as well.

Thanks so much Trish and FarFromTheMaddingCrowd for taking the time to try and help. I agree, great first post :) Good advice re Google and effects of stress.

I didn't have a neck xray, only thoracic spine. My gp did give me a leaflet for self-referral physio. I thought I would try to get to bottom of what was happening before seeking physio or osteopathy. Reason being is, it just doesn't feel like muscle strain - but it may well be :-(

It just feels like an awful feeling mid-back, it's hard to explain.

I don't recall straining it or doing anything to damage that area. It all started with the kidney infection.

I have a list of questions to ask the doc on Monday!

The icy cold feeling really does feel like someone injected ice water into my back!

I really would do the self referral for physio, in addition to the GP. If the physios are anything like mine, they know their stuff. In fact I will go further. I think they are rather unsung heros of the medical profession.
Even if it isnt muscle strain, they can suggest what else it is or rule out things. GPs at the end of the day are not physios.

I will do that Trish. Any help I can get really.