Are you home yet Spidermama? Hope you are in your own bed by now. I do remember that the trip home was very difficult, felt every single pebble in the road. Have you had fixation on the femur fracture as well as the tibia? Mending one break takes a lot out of you, quite exhausting - I imagine two is going to need to bit of resting up.
You will indeed banish the bingo wings - crutches are exhausting to begin with, but once you get your stamina up, you'll get about much more easily. If you go onto partial weight bearing, its a lot easier once you can put the foot on the floor at least, just to give yourself a bit better balance.
Re: showering, its much easier without a cast - get in the shower with a seat and take the brace off once you're sitting down. I assure you that even though it feels like your leg is going to fall off without the brace, it's going nowhere and you'll be fine. It's most undignified being helped in and out like a pensioner, but it won't be forever. I did just do strip washing for a few days and went to the hairdresser across the road a couple of times to get my hair washed, but once I got the hang of showering, there was no need.
What you said about your kneecap feeling pushed out - it's the swelling. It will take a loooong time for the swelling to start going down. Remember there's a foreign object in there and your body has to get used to it. Don't worry about anything being in the wrong place, it'll be fine, they will have checked, double checked and x-rayed from several angles to make sure it was all fine while you were knocked out. You will feel better about this when you go back for your first check up and to have the staples out. They will show you your new knee on x-ray if you ask and I found it made me feel more confident about its 'integrity' iykwim.
BTW, If you need a recommendation in the next week for morphine induced constipation - it's glycerine suppositories, I'm afraid. Whoever invented those should have been awarded a Nobel Prize.