The Back Story

[Matildathecat]

Hi to all fellow back sufferers. I've been on Spooning for a while but don't really feel I fit as I'm not actually ill, just have a chronic (and permanent) back injury. So please post here, no niggle too small. We can share experiences, tips and moans!

Quick history, age 48, last year had sudden crippling back pain eventually diagnosed as disc prolapse L4/5. All conventional treatments tried and failed so had micro discectomy privately.

No progress, and much worse leg pain followed. V long story short was finally seen by second neurosurgeon who diagnosed severe scarring around the nerve root as a result of the surgery. Poor outlook for surgery but we gave it a go, so had second op with similar lack of progress and final MRI showed even worse scarring. Only option chronic pain management . Had several injections with not much effect...

So, permanently disabled, use a stick, endless drugs and a lovely blue badge. Along the way dismissed from career of 25years for ill health.

Sorry, it's a grim story, but hey, I'm ok. Not depressed, have an okish quality of life with the help of my fantastic husband and friends. I walk, albeit slowly and not far, swim a bit and can please myself. Luckily my boys are young adults.

So come along and share. Moans and groans ok, tips and recommendations welcome.

Just don't tell me to see your lovely chiropractor, I might just punch you!(wink)

Oh a holy Moly, the dreaded PIP forms have arrived. Took a week to come so I actually have three weeks to complete. I'm an avoider so bound to ignore for some time. Oh god, more forms, more stress!

Had a silly busy week. Was actually at the theatre last night. Luckily the ceiling stayed intact. Getting into London then sitting and getting home was just a killer. It makes me feel so depressed to find these supposedly fun outings so overwhelmingly difficult. My two SIL were lovely but really weren't getting it (prob my fault for not actually saying much). However I don't think I actually sat still for more than 30 seconds.

Now, quick advice please from anyone at all....

Tonight is the Christmas meal for all my former colleagues. My closest friend there invited me. I said yes, paid and thought it would be nice to see everyone. Now many of them I haven't seen or heard from in Nearly
two years. Even though I was on great terms with them all.

So, even though it might be nice, I'll spend all evening repeating myself( don't want to keep discussing it even once). And getting outrage support about the fact I was fired. (Again, don't want to think or talk about it).

My back and leg are killing me, I will be either standing or sitting all evening, both bad.

So...do I go and hope for the best, it might be lovely. Or cop out on valid reasons both physical and emotional?

Please advise me.

matilda If you had not paid for it I would say don't go save the money for something like at a take away at home. But, seeing as you have paid for it. Could you go, say hi and if it gets tiresome talking about your back, leaving your job etc, you could leave early? Especially if you start by saying you might not be able to stay the whole time due to pain levels? Can you drink wine? If so, I would recommend drinking lots of it.

I really want a glass of wine. BUt got to drive shortly running round like a loon so not going to happen for a good few hours

matilda sorry your theatre trip was not so fun as you hoped. I agree with Pavlov to try and go to the meal as you paid and have some if you are allowed. But leave early if nyou need to, also only go if you can definitely leave when you need to it would be bad if you got stuck there as the person driving you was not ready to leave. Does everyone know you were fired? If not and you don't want to talk about that you could say something like "obviously I couldn't continue to work with my health as it is" that would avoid the outraged stuff if you want to. Also if you dont want to talk about your health problems say I prefer not to dwell on my health on such a happy night but how have you been getting on etc?

Bless you, wise ladies. My mil has just said the same.

Thanks for the wine recommendation. I will take your advice.

Will report back to you all.xx

Matilda, good luck I hope it turns out to be a good night

Hope it goes well and you enjoy

matilda thanks for your advice earlier about naproxen on my other thread. Nearly forgot to ask if the meal went ok?
Hope you all have a good weekend. Its my birthday tomorrow so I will be hoping for my back to be ok and hopefully having a takeaway with the family x

Ho Ho Ho all!

reviving oh I hope you are feeling well enough to enjoy your birthday, and christmas! last two christmases I managed by propping myself up at the kitchen bar with wine that I asked to be constantly filled. Well not so true last year as I was driving, and on so many painkillers I was not able to drink more than a glass of fizz, but the year before, when this all started, alcohol helped me through! Last year was a successful christmas thanks to DH and some lovely friends, who we spent the day with - they came around on xmas eve (30 mins drive from countryside) to collect presents we needed taking up, food we were bringing, chair we were lending etc so we didn't need to do a thing the following morning apart from get there. My best friend refused to let me do a thing. But, mind you, I could barely move my leg then so couldn't help even if I wanted to.

Talking of take-away - I had a horrible evening following a Chinese lunch. I threw up properly, it was horrendous, and throwing up with a bad back is Never Good feel better today, headache, sore muscles, and thank god it's not a stomach bug!!

matilda hope your night out was good, hope everyone else is doing ok? mags you were going on a road trip weren't you?

Hello girls,

Yes, I went. It was fine. Saw several people I was pleased to catch up with. A few former colleagues didn't even bother to come to say hello...so I went to their table and said hi. It was knackering and I left at 10. Sitting in my cab I definitely felt a sense of closure on the whole thing. It felt kind of peaceful (could have been wine and drug combo). Have no need to revisit now.

Yesterday was a bit vile but walked dog with friends as per usual. Rested, dosed then headed into town with Best Friend and had a surprisingly successful trip. I was very wobbly, though. My leg weakness gets much much worse when I'm tired and sore.

So, two nights out on the trot! That's the first time in nearly two years. And possibly the last!

Today we have Big Family Lunch at local smart hotel for husband's side. All lovely but ummm, could well do without it. Interestingly, I've lost weight despite so many meals etc. I think bad pain is calorie consuming??

More or less done for the Big Day. For anyone disorganised like me here's my wrapping tips: use ironing board if a large one instead of table, it's a better height. Use wrist tape dispenser and do small amounts. I still have quite a bit to do.

pavlov, yuk! Were any of your companions ill? Report to Food Police. Probably not a clean kitchen with maggots in the fridge. Hope you feel better.

Have a lovely day everyone. reviving, hope you have a lovely time and pace, pace, pace.

Off to glam up. Weird at this time....

Hello all, is it in the least surprising that my pain has ramped itself up for a festive flare up? Can't think what's brought that on. I did even cancel dinner with friends last night but clearly I've done far too much.

Still, I have two monster pavlovas in the oven and ham bubbling away in cider. The rest is up to DH! Wrapping done, I think. Just the fiasco of the Secret Santa to clear up. Carefully laid plans wrecked by my boys buying for the wrong people....

Later...oh dear, just the one pavlova then.a bit stuck together with the cream. Why do I ever imagine home made must be superior to shop bought. Clearly very wrong. Tramadol not working so crisis point in the Matilda household. DH has reacted by...going to the dry cleaners. Possibly the only thing in the world not on my list.

Ho hum.

Merry Christmas !!!!
Xxxxxxx

matilda oh merry christmas! Can you have wine? it's not too early as its xmas eve! I am sorry you are in so much pain, I think the stress of christmas and running about trying to get things done means some increase is almost inevitable, certainly here it is, but thankfully no full relapse to where I have been for two christmas's in a row.

If it helps at all, our main radiator has been pulled off the wall in the hallway thanks to DDs gymnastic antics, and the builder was going to come and fix it today, but i text him the address to the wrong mobile number, and then today when I saw that, i text him again and he has another job as didn't think I wanted him to come any more. We are going away, have a radiator fixed to the wall with gaffer tape, fingers crossed there is no leak as we are going away on Friday and so no time to get it fixed before new year now. Marvellous. Electrical tape is very festive you know! DH is working this afternoon, so we are going to a friend's for mince pies etc and he will meet us there. Scuppered my plans a bit as I had wanted a chilled-out afternoon with the children, but ho-hum.

So sorry you are feeling bad matilda does a warm bath help? If not a lie down with hotwater bottle and possible or chocs. Let the others sort out things. Don't get stressed about anything. It is all so unfair and must be very frustrating for you. This year dh is doing Xmas dinner and it is all Auntie Bessie's and bought in ready stuff, which I don't quite approve of but it is nice to have help. But I am sure you want to do more like me, but try not to let it get to you so you can enjoy some of the day.

I am feeling a lot better and in less pain. I even managed a shower yesterday, hooray. Saw physio and he has given me exercises. Poor dd is not feeling well now, she has a bit of an on going problem with constipation and since I got ill her diet has got worse and not eating enough fibre. She has got quite bad now and am feeling a bit worried about her and slightly guilty, the only good thing is I have read loads about it recently and found a better tasting medication for her than movicol, which she refuses even mixed in a drink of squash. She just won't touch it. Hopefully a mixture of lactulose to soften and chocolate exlax to get bowels moving will work instead. I am being careful with her doses though.

Hi All, I hope everyone had a not too stressful, painish free Christmas.

The school panto trip was really good and not as bad pain wise as it could have been as the children had a lecture/talk in the morning, then lunch followed by an hour or so wandering around the museum before a short walk to the panto. Which meant there wasn't too much walking, sitting or standing, iykwim? We got back at 7.20 so it was a full day, but I'm really glad I went. The next day was the school disco and I have to admit I was feeling it by the time I was giving the party bags out at the end, to the point of thinking about just lying down where I was in the doorway! What a way to get a reputation hey?

We've had a lovely Chrimbo with loads of help from my Mum and DH bought me an electric piano as I am hobbyless now I'm broken. I can't wait to get going properly on it.

Just a quick one so I don't lose you all! Hope you had a great christmas, as well as it can be with a bad back!

cowmop oh what I nice replacement hobby! I am also hobbyless due to be being broken, but can't play instruments. I have moaned plenty about my lack of hobbies since my back problem as I am an avid water fan - swimming in the sea, kayaking, bodyboarding, trying to surf, some sailing...now, nada! So I have a camera, a nice one, but don't really know what to do with it. I got it to stop me walking behind on my own on walks feeling left behind; it's fine to be lagging when you are taking pictures. But, I enjoy it, it's not the same and I never get to finish my work!

I am in London! I did too much yesterday, back 'went' last night and I had to be helped to bed but, hot water bottle (I new gel bottle from the 'cats'!) and some anti-inflammatories and a good sleep, and I am feeling better. less today I think!

Any ideas of what to do near St Pancras with a 4yr old? The eldest is doing something that I can't say as she is sat net to me reading ove rmy shoulder!

And. ARGH! everyone is going to Paris on Monday as we are near the station, it's like 2 hours away and not very much money to get there for the day - they are all from USA so have their passports - we didn't bring ours seeing as we are coming from westcountry to london! Gutted!

Near st Pancras I can't think of much. There is platform 9 3/4 at Kings cross and a very expensive little Harry Potter shop next to platform 10. A bus ride to Regents Park and the walk along the canal next to London zoo.
I struggled a bit with our long trip, then my 'cold' got worse so I have done very little since. Chest infection and dodgy back do not mix well!
Best wishes for better behaved backs for the new year.

Hello all, Pavlov, shame...I would have met you had I known. SW London here. I'm so with you on the lack of hobbies. Swimming is frankly a chore now though I do enjoy it when there. It's just not the same as my old swim til you drop style. Loved open water, too. Now I'm not even up to aqurobics with the old ladies. Musical instrument sounds nice but physically no good. Studying a problem as my concentration poor and can't sit.nada nada, stop moaning!

I've had a couple of days in Devon, one good one awful. Traveled back yesterday so today was never going to be good.

Pleased to report, though, for all those concerned that I most certainly can drink wine. I have tested it thoroughly and can't remember the results of my experiments!

Keep going my friends. I have the joy that is the PIP form to complete. Trouble is, I feel properly disabled just not the way they seem to be asking. I now have four separate claims underway including this! ESA and my ill health retirement. Full time job I most definitely didn't apply for

Hi everyone and sorry your Christmases sound not as good as you would have liked, but hope you enjoyed the good bits. I am much improved, pain is really much better and I am just uncomfortable, its hard to find a good way to sit and i am getting a lot of pins and needles when i sit, but I can lie down and stand ok now. I am still very weak and struggled on a couple of short trips I went on, but at least I could go and I think it is mainly a case of getting my strength back, hopefully. The physio found the reflex in my ankle was not working properly due to the trapped nerve but I was able to move all my muscles strongly enough he wasn't worried about it. He has given me some exercises to stretch my leg and try to straighten up as I am leaning to my bad side all the time, but I am a lot straighter than I was when the pain was bad. I can still feel that lump where the pain is in my back not sure exactly what that is. I am still on holiday for the next week and hoping I will be able to go back to work, but not sure if I will be strong enough by then. I hope I will.

Just a quick post in Camden town with sleeping boy on lap. Matilda I might even need a break again! There is 15 of us so coffee could still be good this week if you want to? I am normally in devon !!! Don't forget ask me questions bout pip form, pm if you want as questions are deliberately obscure

Reviving so pleased you are feeling better but keep an eye on pins and needles. Good you have physio on it but don't know why no MRI if you have reduced reflex. That's usually enough for further investigation. Certainly was for me.

pavlov, I have sent you a pm. Hope you're enjoying London despite the foul weather.

reviving, hurrah!I'm so glad you are improving. You are like a text book, well done. Don't try to do too much, though. A relapse would be dreadful. You could always ask your employer for a phased return if you aren't up to full time. You can do that even if you are part time. Did your physio give you core exercises, too? A strong core is supposed to protect your back although it didn't protect mine.

magso, hope you're feeling better. Coughs are horrid. I had whooping cough when my back first went. Grim days indeed.

cowmop you are on a roll! Enjoy the good days.

DH had to take my knickers off last night and not in a good way! I'm doped up and hoping it eases off a bit before my sister and bil turn up for tea this afternoon and preferably before I need to take my next breath.

reviving, I'm really glad to here you're getting better, but take it easy.
magso, I hope you're cough is easing up, it's a real git coughing with a bad back.
Matilda, I hope your pain has settled down after the journey and you manage to wade through the paperwork.
pavlov I hope you're having a good time despite having to remain in rainy Britain and that you're pain eased off enough to sight see.

On the piano front, I'm not particularly musical and only had a brief stint playing in the past when Dh got me an upright as a 21st birthday present. I had lessons for 6 months but was soon fairly huge with dd1 and haven't really touched it since. So a good ten years and the upright went when we last moved house. I've found I can still remember the basic fingering and have been on t'web learning to read music again. I have to say I'm enjoying it and it's lovely doing something for me, even if it is in 10 minute sittings in between pain/family life/cooking/cleaning!

I hope everyone has a great New Year.

Oh dear cowmop hope you feel better soon and are able to enjoy your visit. look after yourself. Piano or keyboards are a great choice to learn as you don't have to be brilliant to provide a nice accompaniment to singing or another instrument, so will be great for the kids as they grow up if they are learning another instrument, or if any of you like to sing or for dancing.
I am still improving and have been walking about quite a bit and been in to town but am not sure about whether i can get back to work. I am part time but it is in a kitchen and quite physical. I need to walk or drive in every day, then be on my feet for 3 hrs plus all the lifting and bending needed. Of course you can't slow down either. I am not sure if they can offer me a phased return as i am a lone worker and if i am off they would get a relief cook, but normally there is no other cook there. Dh thinks I may need longer off but it makes me feel guilty, but I really don't want a relapse, next time I may take even longer to recover.
Hope the rest of your holidays go well everyone x

Hello ladies,

Happy new Year to you all. Today I did something for the first time ever...I met up with a 'virtual' friend and that person was...our very own pavlov!

What a charming and lovely person she is. I can confirm she has neither whiskers nor tail. It was so fantastic to meet in RL with someone who truly 'gets it'. And she very kindly went through a whole lot of tedious PIP forms with me to try to cadge claim some benefit to which I am absolutely entitled. So thankyou!

Hope everyone else is coping with life. It's a funny time of year, still put of routine, yet Christmas well and truly over. For those suffering here's a hug and a handhold(( )).

reviving, beat that temptation to overdo it. Slow and steady sometimes wins this race.

Just a quick line to mark my place before I go out for a sneaky glass of wine... matilda also does not have a tail, does not purr and does not shed fur.... Lovely to meet you! Had a lovely sane chat with an adult that was not my crazy family, was not a child! we drank coffee, chilled for a couple of hours before the craziness started all over again. Thank you for the little bit of sanity in the midst of an enormously hectic and busy week! Devon next!

Aw that's lovely glad you two met up, and glad Pav could help you with the forms Matilda. Great timing, she did say she liked doing them I think? Hope your trips home go well too.

I am doing ok and still slowly improving. The physio advised at least another week off work so I will not be rushing back there and will keep.exercising away.

Boo. On way home following day in London looking T Big Ben etc at end of our weeklong trip. It's taking ages to leave and dh has already stopped for coffee at reading. Argh! and it's probably not going to end well re back as I'm already uncomfortable and got 3 hours to go yet! Stretched legs but really want my nice bed and million pillows and wedge pillow. After a long hot bath.