So depressed I feel like giving up, found a lump.

[nikkisherri]

Please anybody, very depressed.

Yesterday I found a lump in my breast, I don't know what made me feel around but I did. At first I thought that it was just breast tissue. Then on examining my other boob I realised it felt different and is definitely lump-like. I asked my husband who noted that there was something there also. He has tried to comfort and reassure me.

A feeling of dread has swept over me since and I do feel terrified.

This lump is on the outer part of my breast I can't decipher if it is hard or soft I think it moves when I did the test of rolling it between my fingers although i'm not sure that isnt just my wishful thinking. There is a little rash at the side of my boob close by it like tiny red spots that itch a bit. My husband thinks that that's a conicidence and not connected. He has tried to comfort but I feel alone and going downhill fast as I do suffer with depression.

Only the week before I had an ultra scan and discovered I had fibroid in my womb and a cyst on my ovary and I had been planning to have a baby. I thought I can deal with that but now this lump on my boob. I have to keep prodding around and feeling it I keep wishing that I have it wrong but I don't.

I cant help but cry and feel rubbish this morning. It just feels like 1 thing after the other at the moment. Feeling very depressed, like to hell with it all. I am 37 and my body is just clapping out on me I feel.

Anyone with any advice I would appreciate it.

Hi,
I have no advice to give you other than go to the doctors to get it checked out. It might well be nothing but the more you poke and prod on your own the worse you will feel.
Thinking of you hun. Take things one step at a time and try not to second guess what might be happening.
Lou

Thankyou loujay, appreicate your kind answer.

I am sorry you have been having a rough time pet You do need to get the lump checked out - there are so many harmless things it could be and your mind will not be at rest until you know for sure. Also, are you seeing anyone about feeling depressed? It really helps, believe me! I am sorry to hear about your fibroid and cyst - what have they said about possibilities of conceiving? Do you have to have them removed?

Thanks schneebly, I only just discovered the fibroid (2 inches by 3 inches apparently) and cyst and have to see the gynaecologist next. Just been given a letter with a password to book my own appointments at the hospital. Then I guess they will tell me how bad it is and how much it will interfere with conceiving and what treatment I need. I have just got my head round that. I have always sufferd with depression and go on and off medication for it. I had been doing so good recently but the fibroid thing and now the lump on my breast has triggered it off.

Try to think of it this way - the gynaecologist may be able to help with the cyst and fibroid and you may well go on to concieve and the lump may also be just a harmless cyst. Do you think you would feel better then? I know it is hard when you have depression to try and think positively but maybe if you try to visualise it? Also something that really helped me - have a good think about your life. What is not good, what is making you feel depressed? Write each thing down and is there anything on the list that is within your control? Mine were my weight, not spending enough time with DH, feeling lonely and stagnant. I wrote these down and thought about what I could do to change each one and did it. DH and I have set specific time to spend together without the kids, I have joined Slimming World and lost a stone so far and I have applied to do a degree. It really made a difference to me. Is there anything you could make stapes to change that you can control?

Another voice saying 'go get it checked out'....and also sending a hug: I've been there and its no fun at all, and very normal to feel overwhelmed and scared when you find a lump. What I learnt was that over 80% of all breast lumps are benign, and also that as we get into our late 30s and upwards lumpiness is much more common - cysts, fibrocystic changes (which is what mine was/is), etc.
I also discovered, when I started telling friends about it, that a huge number of women I know have had a lump at one time or another checked out - so you're definitely not alone.
I went through my own worst lump crisis after my fourth miscarriage, so I understand the depression about struggling onwards to have a baby then getting what looks like another setback...hang in there, hopefully this is a very temporary blip.
xxx

Do get it checked - I found one that sounds just like yours & was terrified - finally got the courage to see the doctor & he told me I have very cysty breasts - if you have cysts in other places you may have a tendency this way. This was 22 years ago & the lump comes & goes - I can feel it right now actually. The red bit may just be beacause you've been handling it a lot, especially if you're hot & sweaty. I do get checked from time to time - I'm now coming up to 50 - (39 days to go; not that I'm counting of course!)- which is when I apparently am at more risk. At 37, there's every probability that it's just a cyst, but it's really better to check it out

get it checked out...
Once i had a problem like that and ran to docs with dp - all stressed and tearful - he told me i too had. a fibrous ( some words i cannot now recall) breasts. I grew out of it thankfully
I hope you go tomorrow and find some relief - please keep posting

You must get it checked.. I'm sure you know that though.
I too found a lump several years ago and was also told it was a cyst. I was also told I had polycystic ovaries when I was in my early 20's (though the cysts appear to have gone now)and also have three fibroids which wre discovered during the scans i had after my m/cs. So perhaps - looking on the positive side - people prone to fybroids and ovarian cysts also get cysts on their breasts too?!?
Good luck!

Hope this reassures youns - I have had three lumps removed over the years, similar in description to yours. They were all fibroadenomas, harmless overgrowths of tissue. If you have a fibroid in your womb that is a very likely diagnosis, since both are caused by hormonal overactivity in the tissue. PLEASE don't worry; they will probably send you for a breast scan, and the radiographer will be able to tell immediately, as fibroadenomas dont have a 'hot spot' that shows on the scan. If you are already going to the hospital your GP may be able to get thsi covered quickly. I also suffer from depression: the panic that you feel is perfectly normal and will subside in time: just don't get overtired, and don'yt imagine awful scenarios: the vast majority of lumps found are benign. [hugs]

Oh and PLEASE leave it alone in the meantime: my consultant said the hardest part of diagnosis is lumps that are tender or inflamed thropugh constant prodding and poking!!! Oh yes, and for anyone else reading, he has a HUGE downer on underwired bras, as well....