I'm trying to find out what life expectancy for an aggressive brain tumour is and struggling.

[VivaLeThrustBadger]

It's a secondary CNS lymphoma which I think is probably quite advanced already. My dad isn't recognising people, doesn't know who he is most of the time.

He'd already had a primary lymphoma for which he'd had aggressive chemo but its spread.

Drs have said that prognosis is very poor but that they can try chemo direct into the CNS. I'm guessing this is to buy time rather than cure?

I don't want to ask the Drs as my step mum doesn't want to know I don't think. But I don't know if we're talking a couple of weeks or a few months?

It sounds very painful to witness, Viva.

Shocking as well because it is so sudden. I am really sorry.

Oh op, my heart goes out to you...

My lovely mil was diagnosed with lung cancer 8 weeks ago today. It had already spread to her brain ( 3 mets) & her liver.

When she was diagnosed she was totally normal & well. Her only symptom was a dropping left eye lid.

Nothing 10 days of the diagnosis she deteriorating rapidly. She ended up back in hospital & was given 4/5 months. She lived almost 4 weeks.

Its cruel & incredibly difficult to watch someone you love deteriorating as each day passes.

I coped by enjoying Mil exactly as she was that day as i realised her condition was totally unpredictable. I mourned her when she was still alive as she wasn't living for the last 2 weeks only existing...

Look after yourself. Enjoy the time you have with your dad. Thinking of you.

I'm sorry about your MiL ShelleyWelley.

I know what you mean about mourning while they're still here. I am grateful that my dad is still here and I can still go and see him. There's little glimpses of him but 99% of the time he's not there. It does kind of feel like he's gone already.

Hospice should have a family support team who can help you. Sorry you are having to deal with this,

The Drs said today that they think less than six weeks. They're discharging him home this week.

I'm so sorry Viva.

Have you spoken to them about what help you can and will get when he comes home? The district nurses were amazing with my dad. Looking after him at home was the hardest thing I have ever had to do but I am so grateful that we got to do it. It has been a source of huge comfort to me that we were able to have that time.

I am thinking of you x

I'm so sorry Viva my family have just been through something similar with my Uncle (although different type of cancer), it's such a shocking thing to go through - take care xx

Bibi, I'm sorry you've been through this with your dad.

They said there would be lots of support, the OTs are going to look at stuff like a stair lift, or if we need a hospital type bed with a special mattress in the dining room. They mentioned Macmillan.

Also that dad would be referred to a special Fast Track team which is for people with less than six weeks life expectancy. It means if we need anything at home we're given priority for getting it.

Lots to think about.....but I suppose it'll be a case of do it and deal with things as and when they crop up. I'm sure the district nurses and Macmillan nurses will be used to this and know what they're doing.

I'm glad you'll get plenty of support. Do you get on well with your step mum? Will she be open to you coming and going as you please?

We had a hospital bed and it was a godsend.

Yes, I get on well with her.

I've rung her this evening and said ill help as much as I can work and dd allowing. But if she needs me to cover for her at a specific day/time then she must let me know....even if its just that she needs a break. She can't do it all on her own 24/7 for the next six weeks.

It's just difficult that I work, am doing a masters, have got lots of courses booked for the next few months around the UK, have dd.....dh works away from home a bit. But if I have to cancel stuff, get extensions for uni work, etc then will just have to do that.

It's impossible to plan isn't it. I had to take some compassionate leave from work in the end and juggle things around with the DC. You'll cope because you have to but it's like facing a marathon that you never chose to enter.

The fast track scheme is very good. I'm sorry you've had such bad news.
This is a tough time. Tbh I would just get a uni extension NOW. One way or another you could do with less pressure over the next few months.

I've emailed my uni tutor to let her know what's happening.