Tamoxifen bus shelter -42

[Gigondas]

Dragging trolley onto new thread.

aggghhhhh... give me strength.

BCN has just phoned to say that MDT could not make a decision about my chemo. My onc was not there but the others could not decide. Apparently i had intermediate DCIS of 48mm and within that multiple cancerous spots (grade2) of which the largest was 13mm. No valscular or lymphatic invasion. Lots of debate about whether the 3 cycles I already had was enough - seems to hinge on my age it seems. If I do have more it will not be FEC as they agreed that had not worked.

Was left that my onc will have to make the decision - or more likely me I suspect . When pressed one of the oncs there said he would not do any more chemo but that was his personal choice.
Hey Ho - I see my onc on a Tuesday mornings so will make an appt for next Tuesday but am fed up with waiting. (Just because I want to plan for the rest of the year and 3 more chemo cycles is a 9 week impact.)
All agreed after chemo (or not) it will be Rads and hormone therapy but I knew that anyway.

On the good news front expanded boob has stopped hurting and i slept very well last night.

And I'm also old and muddled - so we are in good company.

Always good to get that first chemo under your belt, so well done foofoo

Hope am not too late to light my virtual candle for dear earth
Am very behind with thread and just off to have blood test but will catch up later. love to all xxx

Oh Kitkat I can't believe you are still in limbo :( hope you get some answers on Tuesday. My gut feeling I think would be that if there's any doubt it might be best to do it, 9 weeks will go quickly. Not saying that's right though, what a tough decision

Been shopping so the fridge and cupboards are full. Wiped me out though so sitting with cheese and biscuits now. Managed to buy a top and scarf along with the food shopping

Gigs more celebrity twaddle Kerry katona is pregnant again !

aaarrrgggh kitkat on your behalf :)

"Lots of debate about whether the 3 cycles I already had was enough."
"If I do have more it will not be FEC as they agreed that had not worked."

Is it just me or are those two statements contradictory? - if 3 cycles of chemo is enough, are three cycles of FEC enough? given everyone is agreed FEC didn't work for you.

Hopefully your onc can give you his opinion of the percentage gain (or not) of further chemo, although I bet you won't get "definitely do it" and probably won't get "absolutely not worth your while" either....

Thinking about emin lots today and feeling very cross about the bloody unfairness of this stinking disease

Hello all. Thinking about EMIN today and the unfairness of it all.

I am feeling ok today. Made a decision to do nothing for a few days which seems to be the right thing to do as I feel ok. Enjoying the real housewives and millionaire matchmaker. Friend coming over for a cuppa shortly too.

Good news on the house and I heard our buyers are really keen and are moving into a friends house this month so the chain will be really short. We are buying somewhere with no onward chain so hopefully not a lot can go wrong. My main worry is our finances until the move is completed.

Any news from HND ?

NotJ all sounds positive on the house move fingers crossed it all goes smoothly. Few days chilling sounds very sensible. Hnd posted on FB to say that it had all gone well and she was having tea and toast then going home

nj fingers crossed for very short house chain
kitkat a hug for you- this is all a bit mad.
I have to say I had a brilliant time at Polari yesterday - it was theatrical and camp and great fun. Can really really recommend checking out Susie Boyt, Damien Barr and Bernadine Evaristo - they all read and were v funny- I want all the books !

Will light candle now for earth - golden light to her.

Betsy - I have mulled over that contradiction too - with all the nausea I had I'd like to think that maybe the FEC did some 'cleaning' through my body even if it didn't shrink the lump but I'll def be asking about that.
Also agree that if there is any benefit I will do the other 3 cycles - sort of resigned myself during the course of the morning - also assuming it will be T so based on your experience (as we were similar on FEC) that's nothing to look forward to!!

Another candle for earth.

Just lit my candle too. Kinda nice to think of candles dotted all round the UK for her :) RIP lovely lady.

Have just lit mine.....x

Thinking of Emin and her family too x x

Candle lit

Thinking of emin and her family.

Nj a quiet day sounds good.

kitkat - that's shit they said anything at all as if onc not there how can they finalise a decision. It does sound odd and contradictory. I would be pushing back and perhaps asking for a second opinion ( we are quite honest about this with my onc tho is far not needed it). A good consultant per my bil should not be uneasy about someone doing this.
Hnd was on her way home after op earlier so hope topsy is waiting on her.
I think I need more and food. I sincerely hope emin can't hear big gigs first piano lesson later this afternoon wherever she is as may spoil the memory of her lovely service.

Candle lit here too. xx

Have no lit candle, but been deep in thought for EMIN and family.

To be clear I do trust my onc - he is the one who originally said he didn't think the lump would shrink with chemo and the one who stopped the chemo based on the MRI results and said he though the lump was mostly DCIS after all so he's been spot on with everything. It's just that i was told that the team would discuss and make a decision today. I'm sure when I see him on Tuesday I'll get sound advice.

I couldn't light a candle as have been out all day for work. Will light one now as just back. Nice to think of all the candles burning for her.

Kitkat, that's so infuriating..! Hope Onc can help sort a decision next week.

Hope everyone's okay. Will try and catch up, but might not be back until the weekend. xx

You're just a special case Kitkat how's your hair any signs of it growing again ? Mine is coming out more and more don't think it's going to last
Lovely to hear of all the candles RIP Emin x

KitKat, the only factor that matters with survival odds, if you have a variety of bits, is the size of the biggest of the lumps. If yours is 1.3cm, then that's the one that they will base the treatment on. Over five years I think the chemo would only make a 1% difference. Over ten it might make a 2% difference. So no wonder they are taking their time thinking.

...although your starting odds appear to be 97%, if that helps.

ah thanks Amber - you're a star - that is exactly how I need to hear it explained. I think the fact that I have already had 3 cycles of chemo is also clouding the view - the BCN said if I would have had 4 then they would probably have agreed that was enough.
And yes, generally there is no level of concern - I am interesting but not worrying, if that makes sense!!

Malt - not sure about the hair - I asked the kids to inspect the top of my head but they were not very helpful - it feels like there might be some stubble coming through but very hard to tell as still some original hair there as well. Mind you it's also still coming out. Leg hair is back with vengence though!! I def don't think it woudl last another 3 cycles so will not bother with cold cap again.

I had a lovely shopping day in york today. So nice to go without dcs! Then I went to a cheese tasting at WI. I do live an exciting life!

I am wishing comfort to Emin's family and friends. I wish she were here.

Morning all. Nice early start to the day! But a, have having some nice lime marmalade on toast that I bought yesterday .... and a cup of normal tea (DP keeps insisting I drink green tea - nice to sneak in a cup of monkey tea now and again)

Started the big bedroom today and move around yesterday evening with my oldest son who is 20 - was nice to actually spend an evening with him - we have had some trouble in the past and he was helpful and funny. DP is on nights at the moment so DS has been staying in to 'babysit' me whilst I am on chemo - not that I have needed to so far (touch wood). We are all moving round bedrooms so its quite a strategic with a lot of de-cluttering.