Shit scared of the dentist!

[bananananacoconuts]

As the poem goes "I wish I'd looked after my teeth"
My teeth are dreadful, some broken, I'm quite sure i have an abscess as i haven't slept for 5 days and the cocodamol isn't working like it should!
Aibu to go to the ooh GP instead of emergency dentist? I cannot bear the thought of stepping in the room but I do want help with my teeth!!

I'm sure you could go to your doctor for a tablet to take before you go to the dentist like a relaxer?

Hi banana, I am not a dentist but am a former dental phobic and now "cured". One website which really helped me was "Dental Fear Central", a UK based site with a really good forum and lots of friendly dentists n there who will answer any queries....there is even a "recommended dentists" section.

I have a good friend who is very phobic due to past issues of abuse and I take her to the community dentist and they do all her work under sedation. There WILL be something similar in your area and if you can cope with seeing a dentist just nice you can be referred for sedation yourself. It sounds like you have an access and need antibiotics now.

Hoping some of the MN dentists turn up here too for you.

Anyway, Dental Fear Central is here and I cannot recommend them highly enough.

I have a lovely gentle dentist now and a lovely smile once more.

Excuse the typos.....

Hi weelady. I have tried a relaxer for flying (another thing i'm frightened of but not enough to stop me going on holiday!) and it seemed to make me more paranoid for some reason! Have flown since and not been half as frightened!
Jake, I NEED that site! Thank you so much! Just as a back story, I have been drilled and had a nerve hit by a dentist previously which obviously made me shoot up to the sky and in doing this the drill cut open my mouth. My teeth are dreadful but so is the pain. Hopefully if i could find a sympathetic dentist I may be able to go eventually!
I wish your friend luck and healthy teeth!

Banana I know exactly how you feel. As a teenager I had a nerve hit while the dentist was doing a filling. I refused to see a dentist again. The when I was 47 I broke two of my back teeth. God knows how but my front teeth look great but every day I could feel the broken ones. I could also feel a hole in another back tooth. I was worrying myself sick every day imagining them going rotten.

Anyway I have 5 dc and I religiously take them for check ups. I stand in the room looking brave but unknown to them I take a bucket load of diazepam to enable me to do it. Up until last year none of them had ever needed treatment. Then the eldest needed a small filling. I thought I could do it, loaded up on the drugs and went along with her for the treatment. As soon as the dentist got the drill out I freaked. I fled the room, crying and having a full on panic attack.
Outside one of the dental nurses grabbed me and got a chair, she gave me water and calmed me down. I explained my fears and she said I could be referred to a sedation clinic for treatment. She talked me onto making an appointment to see the dentist she worked with. On the day dh took the day off work to take me. I took my Diazapam again and went along. Waiting for my appointment I was crying, but I went in and let the dentist look. She was incredibly gentle and barely touched me. She said I needed three fillings and offered to refer me to the clinic. But I decided I trusted her and made another appointment to return and let her do the work.
On the day dh came again. I took my I pod and when I lay in the chair turned in up as loud as it would go and shit my eyes. I cried the whole time. After just under two songs the dentist removed my eat plugs. I assumed she had just done 1 filling but no she'd done all three. I didn't hear or feel a thing.

I felt such a massive sense of achievement. If I can do it anyone can. Honestly even talking about making an appointment to dh used to leave me sobbing.

Please just pluck up the courage and go talk to someone. They are used to phobic people they will help you.

Well done nonnamai!
I really hope i can be as brave as you. The website linked is already helping so hopefully i'll get there. I also wish to be brave enough to take my dc! So far nannie and grandad have to oblige!

Where do you find these fantastic dentists and are they very expensive?

I haven't been to the dentist for about 4 years and am terrified. I have a permanently blocked nose, so breathe through my mouth and panic about hyperventilating when the dentist is rummaging around in there. Last times there were to have teeth removed and I hate the feel/taste of blood in my mouth.

I know I need at least one filling, as I have toothache. Also I have a gap that needs a bridge or something, I hate the way it makes me look.

(I've been hiding behind the fact that I can't afford to go, even as an NHS patient, due to dh being out of work.)

Anyway, just wanted to say, I know how you feel. Keep us posted on how you get on. I will check out that website too.

Loopy it cost me £45 for my treatment. Thats two visits, three fillings and unlimited symathy. I think all dentists are more sensitive these days. I'm sure if you phone a few and explain your fears they will be sympathetic. I was lucky I had my breakdown on the surgery so they were able to see how bad I was. I really wish I had plucked up the courage to go earlier. I wasted years worrying.

Thanks Nonna, not sure if we can even get a place at local dentists, I seem to recall reading about waiting lists.

Is £45 for NHS or private treatment?

My previous dentist is very nice but I am embarrassed to tell him how scared I am and anyway haven't called them for 4 years - I still take my dd there for her check ups - so probably have been struck from their list

I highly recommend finding a dentist that carries out sedation. It worked for me and I hadn't been able to go for over 4 years following a bad experience. The sedation was an injection in the arm and I was awake the whole time but didn't care less what was happening. It was almost an enjoyable experience. Well worth the £150 it cost (plus another £1,500 for the actual treatment).

Just to update...

I've only gone and bloody done it! Been to the emergency dentist tonight, cried in the chair! Nobody laughed, they reassured me throughout. They said I was brave! Had to have a root extracted and been given antibiotics for an abscess.
If anyone is putting off a trip to the dentist I urge you to go. I haven't seen a dentist for years and i have felt welcome and most importantly safe this evening, the tears were i'm sure because i was so overwhelmed to be in a dentist chair.
Massive thanks to jakebullet for the web link. It honestly was a revelation to read and a giant shove to get me to the dentist.
Do it mumsnetters! If i can, you can

Aww, so pleased for you

I've been lucky with my teeth but my ex had horrendous problems. It took almost 3 years to talk him into seeing my dentist at the time. He was brilliant and the work he eventually did on him was lifechanging.

Oh well done banana, that first visit is the hardest but it does get easier after that. Am so glad that they were good with you ...I wouldn't swap my dentist for the world as he is just lovely.
Good luck to you, those antibiotics will sort things out and you will be pain free again. X

Sadly my first visit in years was not good. I was raped by a dental student in my own bed the morning after a party in a flat when I shared with a dental student at King's London. I don't care for myself but eventually plucked up the courage for my dd2. It was awful. The dentist my lovely local lady sent us to for an extraction and root canal for dd2 (16) was awful - patronising, condescending and just utterly uncaring. I was in tears. Dd was traumatised - while she was still sedated he told her she would be ok for root canal without sedation - he'd refused to do it. He was vile and patronising and horrible. Our dentist sent us back - they have cancelled twice - well known for this apparently - now my lovely lovely dd is refusing to go back. I am the crappest mum on earth. I need someone to sort my life out before it finishes me off. In every other aspect I am capable. Not this due to some utter bastard way back in 1994. I really need hand holding.

OMG goingmad, that is awful. You are NOT a crappy Mum, just a Mum who has been through a horrific experience and sounds like the dentist you have been referred to is not great at people skills.

You say that your DD is now 16, I don't know if it will be any comfort to know that my niece (lifetime of dental refusal and panic attacks etc in the waiting room) has at the age of 23 recently taken herself willingly to a dentist and is now "cured". I suspect your DD will get there in her own time. In the meantime is there anywhere else that your dentist can refer her?

Thanks Jake - she was then 16, now 17. There's a much nicer place when you're 18. I was so positive before the referral and now feel even further back. Just feel so angry with the guy where we were referred.

I am also terrified. I hadn't gone in about 12 years and then a tooth broke on some haribo

I went private. It was very very expensive and I'm still waiting to raise the funds to get everything sorted but I certainly got what I paid for. I explained my bad experience and fear to her and she was very accommodating. Her assistant even held my hand during the anaesthetic injection which I though was lovely (not for everyone I know, but I was very reassured).

If its possible for you then I would strongly recommend it. I even got my first ever filling at 21, which everyone I've spoken to thought was insane but you can't help being shit scared!

I am dental phobic and see a dentist who uses sedation on me. All I can say is it is brilliant. You won't know or remember a thing.

This de twist uses sedation - is in Chatham if that explains enough to anyone. It was the customer service bit that did for me. Maybe private is the way to go. I had already driven the 20 odd miles there explaining the situation beforehand to be met with not very aware receptionist. Honestly, it was horrible.