Is your child obese - really? Are you doing anything about it?

[Tinker]

Just curious after all the news reports today. No-one ever seems to describe their own child as obese and yet some must be.

Well me and DH have been marked out as weirdos at DD's school because of the packed lunches we provide. As I've posted before DD doesn't like bread so she has a pasta/rice/cous-cous type salad with veg sticks and a "protein" element. The support staff are baffled. We ran into one of the support staff in Sainsbury's who was amazed we shopped in a supermarket at all. We've had a few request for dairylea lunchables and cheese strings but have managed to avoid this so far.

My eldest dd has never even been remotly chubby, even as a baby, and now at age 6 she is stick thin, too the point where i do really worry about her. At the momment she wears age 4 school skirts as anything bigger just falls down. She was having packed lunches but wanted to go back on dinners, so i've let her but am still giving her a full cooked dinner after school to try and put some meat on her. I have been very dissapointed in the school meals she's been having too. A typical meal (that she chooses) is turkey dinosaurs, smily faces and cucumber. I have told her now that she can't have chips or smiliy faces more than twice a week and i'm going to try to find out the typical weeks menu.
My other dd and ds were both very chubby babies but this started to wear off as soon as they started walking.
I have to say that my kids eat far too much chocolate and sweets but then i'm very careful about what their meals contain.

I think school meal standards can vary from school. My son was most impressed by the better, more varied meat and two veg meals at his current school, compared to the chips with everything meals at his other two primary schools.

Roisin, I will post an answer to your question tonight!

I specifically didn't name names in my post as I didn't want to seem like I was picking on anyone, but no, I wasn't thinking of you specifically Jimjams.

Motherinferior, I agree completely about girls (and boys) being made to be far too concerned about their bodies from a young age. It is a delicate balance between making them paranoid, and helping them to be healthy. Healthy doesn't always have to be about 'fat'. It's about healthy hearts and bodies.

It is about exercise, but not just about exercise. You can't spend all day eating junk and have 30 minutes exercise and still stay fit and healthy. It - like so many things in life - is about balance.

I'm lucky. I quite school at 11 before the real body-image paranoia kind of thing started. Despite depression, body image has never been a problem for me, I don't have the hang ups that I see in so many women. That's not to say I think I have a great body - I don't there are plenty of bits I'm not happy with, but it;s a minor thing. I have never dieted in my life.

I'm not sure what I'm trying to say. Just that it's possible for health/negative body-image not to go hand in hand.

I still think it's a major issue and it is shocking some of the food we eat.

Maryz, my nearly 10 year old son also wears clothes for 11 - 12 year olds. His trousers always have to be taken up in length. My husband urged me to get him checked over by our GP. I did this, expecting to get a long lecture on healthy diet and lifestyle. The GP looked at my son and said he wasn't excessively overweight and really played it down. He told me not to put him on a diet as such, but just ensure he had plenty of exercise and ate healthily. He's still wearing some jeans I bought him 18 months ago - they are shorter but still fit him round the tummy, so I hope he is growing upwards more than outwards.

You might find my own experience of this interesting, though I'm not saying this is the rule: As an 8 - 11 year old girl, I was like your daughter in that I began to grow out of children's clothes early. My tummy was so big (that's where my fat was concentratad, my arms and legs were ok), that I had to have my skirts and dresses made for me. By the time I was 12 or so, I was an adult size 10 or 12. But then I stayed that way as I grew taller, becoming a size 12 or 14 (height about five feet four inches) by the time I was 16, so really pretty average. I had my first period age 13 - the average age at that time. I never followed any diet. I wasn't sporty and couldn't ride a 2-wheel bike till I was 10, but my mother did take me swimming several times a week and I went to lots of dance classes. But then I went off the rails and decided I was going to be skinny, so I madly dieted for a few years, dropping down from nine and a half stone to seven stone at my thinnest. By the time I reached 20 years I realised I hadn't the body or the willpower to keep at that sort of size, thew away my scales, stopped weighing myself and reverted to being a size 14 again. I have never, ever dieted since and I am still approx that size - (got a bit heavier over the years -I'm nearly 46), but I've never ever been as fat as I was when I was a child. So for me, the statistic that fat children grow into fat adults is not accurate.

roisin, you were asking how we involve our son in cooking. Well, a lot of it comes from him. He involves himself by hovering around us and asking lots of questions. He has watched lots of cookery programmes and often suggests modifications to us (often impractical but he is only 9). I suppose we gradually gave him small tasks to do - like mashing potatoes for instance. He'll then get a feel for how cooked a potato has to be before you can mash it, so then the next time we have potatoes cooking in the saucepan, we can ask him to stick a fork in and test them to see if they are cooked. I have to admit he's not keen on the preparation - peeling them or the tidying up afterwards. But he really enjoys adding ingredients - going back to mashed potatoes as an example, he'll want to add grated cheese, pesto or chopped spring onions - or all three (have to watch this, he can get a bit carried away!). When he was younger, say 6 or 7, I used to let him have a bowl and add things like an oxo cube, flour and left over peelings to it, to make a mixture. He really enjoyed this - just to see what happens when different ingredients are added together. It also gave him practice in using different cooking utensils, well away from the heat of the hob.

He gets lots of pleasure out of his holidays with his grandparents. They have a big vegetable garden and he enjoys picking the vegetables and helping his nanny cook. She's a very good, enthusiastic cook and teaches him whatever he wants to know. My husband is a better, more knowledgeable cook than me, so perhaps this helps as well. My son doesn't feel cooking is a female thing at all.

Tigermoth, just caught this - thanks for this posting. My dh does almost all of our cooking so we have positive role-model here too, but I tend to do baking, preparing sandwiches, making yoghurt side of things!

Anyway just wanted to say thanks, and sorry I hadn't checked in for it earlier. I was reminded about it yesterday:

Dh is away, and he normally 'does' pancakes ... So we agreed that we would postpone pancake day until he's back. Only we forgot to tell the kids. Yesterday when I informed the boys after school, they were not impressed. DS1 was busy doing some colouring, but ds2 (4.5) got out the recipe book (Delia), used the index (ds1 must have helped him) to find the pancake recipe. Then (again aided and abetted by ds1) got out a mixing bowl, the scales, and all the ingredients! I was well aware what was going on, as I could hear quite clearly, but chose to let them get on with it. I came in at that point, and told them it was OK if they wanted to make pancake mixture. I swapped the cheap playdough flour for good quality stuff, and they struggled a bit with the eggs ... but basically I left them to it. They followed the recipe, measured out all the ingredients, and made pancake batter. I was so proud They didn't even make much mess, and the resulting pancakes (which I cooked) were excellent.

I definitely should start doing more with them.

Very impressed Roisin

Hope DS will be like your and tigermoth's sons. He has jsut turned 3 but for several months has known the order for making a basic cake mix (ie fat, sugar, eggs flour).

I was really tired when I cam in from work a couple of days ago and my son cooked my supper - grilled gammon, boiled new potatoes and peas!

What a sweetie Tigermoth Even more determined to train DS up now!

Really pleased to announce that my tubby ds (nearly 12) has moved on the BMI charts from obese to overweight to the right weight for his height! So pleased (although I haven't told him because we have been trying to play the whole thing down and never told him that he was obese). I think it was moving on to secondary school and just being more active all day that has done it. Getting up and walking across the school every hour between lessons, plus walking to and from school, plus much harder PE lessons seem to have done the trick.

I have just bought a pedometer for myself to see if I was anywhere near the recommended 10000 steps a day - only to find that I average 5000-8000 a day. So know I am actually going to do the things recommended like getting off the bus a stop early, going for a walk at lunchhtime etc to see if I can get up to my 10000 - maybe I'll lend it to my ds to see if he is hitting the target now.

Tigermoth, Copper - my ds sounds a bit like yours - according to his BMI he is overweight. He is just over 8 stone and about 5 foot 2 inches tall. He is a very big lad and not overweight IMO. He does love his food (proper food) but is very fit and sporty - he plays football, rugby, cricket, is an excellent swimmer and has a grown up physique for his 10 years with him being very muscular, his shoulders are very wide already. He does occasionally have a bit of extra podge around the waist but this usually precedes a growth spurt when he grows 2 inches in height. I think we can dwell too much on actual weight of a child rather than the fact that they look fat.

Have just found this thread and have found much of the comments very reassuring,I also have a 10 year old who is "chunky" (have just had to buy new school trousers;sturdy fit!),he is definately carrying extra weight around the body nad this bothers dh (stick thin as child a lot)but I am perplexed at what to do,he is a fussy eater but what he does eat is generally healthy;plently of veg,;lots of fruit,cereal and brown bread.He also does some form of sport every day,either swimming ,football,basketball and rugby.He doesn't like things like MacDonalds so that is not an issue although we do have the occaisional(once a holiday)visit to Pizza Hut.
In addition I have to admit that I feel increasingly that I am viewed by society as a bad mother because he has this shape ,and yet some of his friends are stick thin but live on a diet of chipsand ketchup as far as I can make out.I do think part of it is that he is maturing quicker than some of his class mates,but I noticed the other day when I inadvertantly caught a glance of him walking to class that he has started to stoop because he is taller and he is also getting sensitive about his weight.
All suggestion swould be welcome ,we have semiskimmed milk and he doesn't like cake although would eat his fair share of chocolotae wand crisps if allowed to.

Philly - have you stolen my boy??

copper, I read your message with much joy and told my husband the gist of it last night. He was wondering out loud how come our chunky son was still so chunky, considering we have been more strict recently about his food intake. I told him about your son and how his weight has steadily dropped down the percentile charts. I am sure this happens in lots of cases and like you, believe a more active life at secondary school must help. We are now going to up my son's activity quota. He is not playing out much or wanting to ride his bike becasue it is so cold, but we will be finding ways round that asap.

Philly I know exactly what you mean about stick thin friends living on junk food. My ds has a friend who has a chocolate spread sandwich, sweets and a packet of crisps for lunch each day. His mother would give him more healthy stuff but he is very fussy.

I'm so happy to read this thread. We too have a nine year-old boy who is 'chunky' in comparison to his friends. Unlike his friends, who as far as I can see live on jam sandwiches (white bread only), he is interested in good food and eats whatever we have - cajun food, thai food, indian, etc. I cook all this from scratch, usually using Weightwatchers cookbooks, but although dh and I have lost quite a lot of weight over the last two years, he hasn't. He is one of the shortest in his class, so is very aware that he is bigger than his stick-like friends. We never have chocolate, cakes, etc in the house and he walks to school and then cycles around the village and plays outside after school. We eventually took him to the doctor too, and were also told not to worry. But it is hard not too, especially when you know that it is making him self-conscious!

Thought I would revive this thread as I am still worried about ds1,everything I read seems to imply that if your child is overweight he must be eating loads of junk food and doing nothing but watch telly or play computer games.Ds1 plays sport several ,times a week eats loads of fruit and veg,hardly ever watches telly,and I think has probably spent about an hour playing computer/playstation sine beginning of term but still the weight is creeping on.He has started weighing himself in secret now and wants to give up swimming and rigby because he is getting teased a lot.He does look a little rounded but is not huge,he is tall for his age though.I woould like to sort things out before September when he goes to secondary school as I know it is worrying him.

Bump

I think my dd (12) falls into the obese category and it really worries me and I don't know what else to try. Her 'problem' area is her tummy. We thought that once she started at senior school with more PE and a ten minute walk to and from the bus stop she might grow out of it - but so far there is no change. We have tried not to draw attention to it but I know it does worry her. She no longer drinks any fizzy drinks and has cut down her crisp intake considerably and we eat pretty healthily. She is about 4'9" and 6st 4lb. Do you think she will 'grow' out of it or should I take further measures?

Philly, can't be much help except to say that my dd is 2 years 8 months and at top of growth chart for height and weight (she is a metre tall and weighs 33 pounds). How do I find out if that is overweight? She eats so healthily (honest!) but does have a hearty appetite.
How old is your ds?