Just had DS3's MMR done ..... aaaargh!

[dinosaure]

God, I hate having to make these big decisions.

We put off having DS2's MMR until I was absolutely sure there was no way he was on the autistic spectrum (DS1 is, although I don't blame the MMR itself for that).

I am not at all sure about DS3, but after much fretting we've decided to go ahead and get it done now because there's lots of measles about in the area.

So, fingers crossed, I suppose...

I so understand this - I hung on until ds was 2.6 with half the family nagging me - I didn't think there would be an issue, but there is always that tiny nagging doubt... Sure all will be fine.

dino- isn't ds1's autism likely to be linked to lack of oxygen at birth? If so you're not in a risk group for MMR triggered autism anyway.

That's meant to be reassuring - hope it is.

How is ds3 getting on btw? My ds3 is doing well- but his language is very odd- he talks martian 98% of the time, then comes out with these phrases which either sound echolaic or sounds like he's learning set phrases, which I have to say I find terirbly autistic. Doesn't use yes or no either, which does concern me!

Jimjams, I really don't know. The hypoxia theory makes a lot of sense. But then again, if you look at mine and DH's families, there are at least two fairly obvious Aspies on his side, and I also suspect that there is rather more severe autism on my mother's side. I have a cousin who was dx'd with schizophrenia in her teens, and she ticks a lot of boxes. And what my mother has told me about this cousin's father (my mother's brother) also sounds very very ASD.

DS3 is quite a worry. I took him to a party yesterday and he completely ignored everyone else there except me. He found a couple of Thomas engines and a Cranky and then just lay on his side in the middle of a crowded room running them back and forth in front of his eyes. He has a new stim at home as well - he opens the kitchen cupboard doors and then runs up and down looking sideways at them and shrieking with glee! He comes out with the odd word, but never in a communicative sense iykwim. And he has stopped pointingi again.

But on teh toher hand he seems much less obsessive, and much less tantrumy than DS1 at hte same age, has no sensory things that I can think of, feeds himself (although has very limited diet), plays peek a boo, claps...

However I could always direct DS1's attentioin to books - and I can't do that with DS3 - he has some pages he likes to look at but I can't interest him in anything else!

He used to say yes and no but has given them both up!

I don't know...I really don't.

Have you asked for a referral? The eye stimmy stuff would concern me (tbh honest it does in this house as well- ds3 does some eye stimmy stuf as well- mainly running with sideways looks- but does seem to playing with cars and trains rather than stimming over them. Ds1 does a lot of running and stimming so ds3 may just be copying). Combined with loss of words though I really would ask for a referral (sorry I know you don't want someone to say that). DS1 wasn't at all tantrumy and loved peek a boo, row row row your boat etc (still does although he's lost his inability to tantrum).

I have the opposite to you here as well- ds3 throws the most enormous tantrums- nothing like ds2, but because ds1 didn't tantrum I haven't made much of it, but I actually have no idea whether they're normal though!

IN ds3's case my original plan was to ask for a referral if he wasn't pointing at 18 months- well goats milk sorted that out. I am not convinced by his mixture of martian and complete phrases though, and if he isn't using yes and no (shaking and nodding the head will do) by 2 then I'll refer by then at the latest.

How long are you going to leave it with ds3? It's so hard because they can change so much so quickly at this age, and whilst I'm not convinced by ds3 I do want to give him time (and also I think he is too young to have his language assessed) but on the other hand I don't want to go through again what we went through with ds1- everyone reassuring us he was fine, so subtle but obvious signs overlooked iykwim.

DS1 started talking just before his second birthday - DS3's is only two months away, so the clock is ticking.

I did mention my concerns briefly to GP a few weeks ago and he was very sympathetic. I don't think, given DS1's diagnosis, that we would face the same difficulties being taken seriously taht we did with him. So I might make an appointment to see the same GP just before we all disappear off on summer hols and then hope that we might be able to get some appointments in the autumn.

Thanks for being so honest with me, it really helps .

Do you think that your DS3 might be kind of learning phrases by rote? I suspect that some of my DS3's reactions (e.g. saying bye when someone waves at him, even if no-one's actually going anywhere!) are learnt responses rather than real communication.

Ah don't presumer anything. DS2's speech was delayed - I knew he wasn't autistic, but did suspect verbal dyspraxia- despite the family history we still waited 11 months for a SALT assessment (he was seen at just short of 3). By which time I had, of course, paid for private SALT (yet again). My area is notoriously bad for SALT though.

ds3 communicates well on his terms, but is not very good at adult directed stuff. He engages very well if he wants to ask for something/show you something, but it can be a bit hard work attracting his attention (not as hard as ds1 though). He's only just got into books but loves them now (again on his terms).

I find it helpful to have cut offs- so if he's not doing x by age y then I'll refer. Otherwise I spend my whole time fretting about whether or not I should be referring.....

I had a chat with DH about this last night. He agreed that if DS3 doesn't make any progress within the next four weeks, we should book an appointment with sympathetic GP and ask for referral. SALT waiting lists round here are a bad joke but I will scrape together some cash to go private if needs be.

DS3 was really agitated last night, not his usual cuddly self at all, just spent ages pummelling me and making what we call his "demented hamster" noise - a sort of incessant moaning cry - which DS1 used to do as well. Am bricking it rather...

I do know how you feel- ds3 filled a see through bag with train track today, then lay down and looked at it from all angles. Hmmmm. Also I said "what is it?" and he said "what is it?" Hmm Hmmm and double hmmm.

Will be sending sparkly developmental vibes your way in the hope that you don't need to make the appointment.

I would love areal expert to look at ds3, but there's no point us contacting the local non-expert paed at the mo because he passes all developmental tests for his age, there aren't any sideways looking echolalia tests.