Honestly ... are you affected by this?

[AndyMurraysBalls]

Hi. I have name-changed through embarrassment.

I am starting the menopause and sometimes don't have a period at all, but do have the crampy, bloaty type feelings beforehand.

In the last couple of months I have started to get real bladder urgency around this bloaty time. Actually (and I can hardly admit this to myself) I have actually started to piss myself. Oh God, I've typed it - you have no idea how long that took.

I went to my GP for something totally unrelated and mentioned it to her. As a mother of 3, I expected a bit more support, but all she said was to practice holding my wee while I'm on the loo in order to strengthen the muscles. I scuttled out because I feel so awful about it.

Moving on ...... So I was running last weekend. I ran a PB and was feeling epic. I was laughing, chatting with my clubmates afterwards and when I went back to my car I happened to look down as I sat down. Between my legs my running shorts were wet. I thought, don't panic... it's sweat. Nothing more, nothing less. Got home - avoided everyone and ran straight for the bathroom. Took off the shorts, sniffed ..... piss. All my clubmates might have noticed, not to mention how upset and embarrassed I felt for myself.

Pulled myself together yesterday and went to Boots. Stood looking at mattress-sized products for pissers. (Yes - I have lost all self-respect and am now the woman on Little Britain).

I couldn't stand it anymore and asked to speak confidentially with someone in their little room. A beautiful young woman in her 20s with poise and sophistication emerged and asked me how she could help. I was mortified. In the end I managed to explain, the tears came ... total drama.

She was wonderful and brought me in some products to look at in private. She opened up the packets so I could see them.

They are so BIG! Where does it all fit? I am a size 6-8. My running shorts are tight and my running tights are tight (obviously). The width of these things is wider than my undercarriage.

What the hell am I going to do? I am so upset. I know I could have a life-threatening illness and need to get perspective but I am sooooo upset by this.

How many others are affected by this and how do you deal with it?

Have you had to change your life? Give stuff up? I only started running a year ago and I bloody love it. I'm getting faster and further and entering proper races and doing well.

Self-respect gone. Help.

Well done Andy

Oooh thank you! I'd forgotten that I had name-changed and was wondering who Andy was!!!!!!!

It's me! I'm off to warm-up for my important 1/4 final this afternoon ...... oh no, it's not REALLY me, is it?????

There, I've got my sense of humour back!

OP
Not sure if you have the same as I did, as you were not aware of the urinary release at the time. I was. I was prescribed tablets called Oxy butynin and it worked from taking the first one.

My sis had a bladder stretching op, as after examination was told hers was too small. Also successful. It does depend on the cause of the leakage.

Also know a lady who from her 40s has had the op 3 times - every 7 years. Hers was caused by prolapses which were lifted up and bound securely. You can wear thinner pads if it does not gush out .

Oxybutynin

I am a strong woman and this will not beat me. It is just a load of bollocks and with the right help I will overcome it.

YAY!!!!!!!!! You will!

Also get checked for a UTI - I've just got rid of a persistent one that caused a lot of urinary "urgency" As the secretions from your foof help fight infection, more UTIs as you get older are common as you get dryer.

I'd very few other symptoms just a funny smell from my wee.

Am now following lots of techniques to avoid getting another - cranberry juice, avoiding tea, no shower gel or scented soap in that area etc.