pms after childbirth

[Copper]

Does anyone have the same odd pms physical symptoms I seem to get? My right knee just won't hold me up - I look like John Cleese when I walk - and I feel really really really spaced out; just for a day or so. Nobody seems to notice but I feel totally peculiar. And since this is mumsnet, where body hair causes laughter across the land, I feel brave enough to mention the horrible raw patches at the top of my legs apparently caused by my body deciding to dribble acid once a month just for the hell of it. Is this normal? Am I going mad to ask this, even of mumsnet? Will I be too embarrassed ever to post a message again, when I stop feeling spaced out?

Copper, I definitely understand the spaced out feeling you describe. Or rather I don't understand it but I don't half get it. It's like being underwater or asleep, for me, but at least when my period kicks in things go relatively normal again. I'm afraid I can't help with your other symptoms - very odd. Bit of a tangent, but I would like to know if anyone's periods are ten times worse after pregnancy. Mine feel like my very first few when I was thirteen or so, I even woke up the other day with period pain and somehow it wove itself into a dream as a labour pain, it felt so real.

hi i am having realy bad pms i think is started about six months ago i get the most terrible mood swings like every thing is realy pissing me off i then get very deppressed i find it very odd because i have never had a problem even never realy had stomack craps or period pains i am hoping it not the change i am thirty five or is it just one of those things any ideas

Similar story. No PMS until the return of my periods following the birth of my son. My mood swings are dramatic and I hate myself for it. I am hoping that all will return to 'normal' once I eventually stop breast feeding.

I am exactly the same but I've heard yet another good report for evening primrose/ starflower oil. My friend recently discovered a lump in her breast and when the test came back that it was just fatty tissue she was perscribed a huge dose of evening primrose oil which was lowered in dosage after 2 weeks. Not only did the lump dissappear completely but she noticed that she had absolutely no pmt whatsoever -nothing! She just told me this last week and I keep peering at the tablets in Boots wishing they were cheaper, it's alright for her getting them on perscription, but if you look at the really good quality ones (which you need) the prices are sky high I'm not sure I could afford to buy it constantly. No-one knows of any cheap stockists do they?

Sounds like I'm an exception, but after all the positive mentions here about Starflower oil/Floresse I've tried it for a few months but I still get major PMT, in fact am going back on the pill in despair as soon as my next one starts.

Like others here, I thought I had PMS before my child born 4 years ago, but since then it has worsened considerably. The ghastly thing is it seems to have carried on getting worse over the past few years - although it does vary in intensity from month to month. I tried lots of things in the past and found nothing that helped.

MY PMS pre child was fairly mild - slightly irritable but that's all. Now it's horrendous. It's like a black cloud over me - I feel depressed and angry. It's the anger that scares me because sometimes I can't control my temper and I lash out. I hate myself for it and feel so much guilt afterwards. I've just started taking evening primrose oil in desperation. What's worrying me even more is that my husband is going away for 6 months and I'm not sure I'll cope as there'll be no one to take over when I'm at my worst and it's my son who suffers. I can't go to the doctors as I'm frightened that they'll take my son away. Help - what can I do?

MerrySam- poor, poor you. It sounds like a horrible position to be in.
Nevertheless, you owe it to yourself and, even more importantly, to your son to get some help with this. If you go to the doctor I'm sure the emphasis will be on supporting you rather than removing your son. If the thought of the doctor is too scary right now, how about ringing a helpline such as Parentline for advice? Maybe they could refer you on to a specialist organisation.
Is your husband fully aware of the problem? Is it at all possible for him to reschedule/not go or is he in the army or something like that? Is there anyone else who can offer you support while he's away?
Best wishes- keep us posted.

I used to get PMS like you, Merrysam, and it is terrible. But no one ever suggested they would take my children away and I'm sure they wouldn't take yours away, either. Please, go to the Dr for help, or talk to your health visitor or maybe the family planning clinic. Good luck.

Merrysam, so sorry to hear about this. I can only echo what Chairmum says - if you go to the doctor's, do you even have to bring the fact that you are a mum into the conversation? Most GPs are so busy the chances are whoever you see won't remember you have a little one. Treatment of severe PMS is generally much more sympathetic and enlightened these days. You may find that EPO helps - give it time, as its effect is cumulative. Take the supplement you are using to the doctor's and ask if you are taking enough. It's not cheap and sometimes we skimp on the dosage (I do anyway...)
Try this website for factual info and other suggestions. Believe me, you are not alone. So many of us here have been astonished and sometimes frightened at the change in our PMS levels since we had a child.

National Association for Premenstrual Syndrome

I too have suffered far more with PMS when myperiods restarted after I finished breastfeeding - two weeks of black moods, picking arguments and whingeing (though I'm pretty good at the last one the rest of the month, apparently!). Also started to suffer with the flashing lights part of a migraine attack. Was a bit worried about this one as i didn't know what was happening having never suffered with migraines so asked my optician. Luckily don't develop the headaches tho.

Nobody has mentioned Agnus Castus which might be worth a try. Haven't been able to give it a good test run cos we're sort of trying for another baby and it does say that it's not recommended for pregnant or lactating women but it did seem to alleviate the symptoms a lot for the month I did try it.

Merrysam, you're not alone in feeling like this. I too have PMS which starts mid month and stays until my period starts and I'm truly horrid. The worst bit is knowing what's happening and not being able to stop it - especially when I'm screeching at dd for something which on a 'normal' day I would accept as standard 2 year old behaviour... Sometimes I'm so frightened of myself I have to move to a different room from her until I calm down.
I took the plunge and saw my GP last month only to be told that I must accept that this is now the form my PMS takes and must learn to live with it !! I've just had a Mirena coil fitted which he thought might help as it releases a small amount of progesterone, I'll let you know if it does.

Also Nao, I get the kaleidoscope lights thing, the GP said it was a form of focal migraine and I shouldn't take the combined pill any longer as there was an increased stroke risk for sufferers.

I have it for about a week before and still feel bad during and a couple days after. So pre-menstrual syndrome isn't quite accurate for me.
I hate it when I am in at work. I have back pain as well and bad legs.

I always forget things; I have lost quite a bit of money due to this and various CDs! I always get hot as well. It was always bad with me.

I was getting it so badly mainly during the week of my period that I went back on the pill, which always used to cure everything before babies, but after 2 months I have to say I still get many uncontrollable rages at things which like Twink I would let go as normal behaviour, probably more in the week before now. It is a bit better but certainly hasn't got rid of it enough to stop worrying me. Also thinking of trying agnus castus & glad Nao found it helped.

Merrysam and Twink - can relate completely to this. Pre child I had no real symptoms of PMS except severe period pains and was generally a low-level grump (well one boyfriend used to say I had Permanent Menstrual Syndrome). But post child I scare myself completely - terrifying verbally violent moods swings and illogical rages.

I DID go to the doctor about it because it had to stop. I really think I was damaging my child. I decided to go back on the pill as a first step and, I must say, about 4 months later, things are a LITTLE calmer. I was completely open about how worried I was about harming my child but my doctor was very good - kept probing to see if I was depressed. I did feel he was concerned about me and my health. I now just take the pill pretty much constantly, without a break, to maintain some consistency of mood.

One of my colleagues ages ago used to have coloured squares on her desk. She warned us that when she had turned them to the red side, it was a discreet way of letting everyone know she was feeling fragile and that she might bite our heads off.