Fear of HIV test

[dianettey]

I've decided I need to take an HIV test. Really, terribly anxious about this.

The only person I've had sex with is my boyfriend, who tested negative for HIV twice over the 1yr course of our relationship. I tested negative once over the course of it.

We did start out using condoms religiously but eventually stopped after both testing negative (I was on the pill).

I'm 99% sure he never cheated on me- I would say 100% really but reading the relationships board has opened my eyes somewhat. I trust him completely and I really don't think he ever cheated on me.

There is a reason for all this anxiety- our relationship took place in a country which had a very high HIV rate.

I can't get tested until Monday, and then I'll have to wait at least 5 days for the results. I've tried and tried but cannot get same-day or instant testing in my neighbourhood.

How do I cope with this fear and anxiety? Getting an HIV test is a horrid thing to do. I went with my boyfriend to get his done and he was scared- and was shaking all through the 20 minute wait to get his results (I saw them! Definitely negative!)

So, logically, I can say its unlikely I'm positive. But the chance is there, and that's enough to send me into paroxysms of fear. Is this a psychological problem? How do I cope? What will I do if (touch wood) it's positive

I don't really feel able to express this to anyone irl so any advice is very much welcome.

Firstly you sound very low risk for HIV so i wouldnt worry too much, but if the test was positive your life should not be that different due to the amazing progress made in HIV medicine since 1996.

Honestly life expectancy of a person newly diagnosed today with HIV is the same as that of a person without the virus.
The drugs are so effective, they are easy to take, low side effects and some are once a day.

If you got pregnant and were HIV+ your risk of passing it onto your child whilst on therapy is now down lower than 1%.

There will be groups and support available for you if you are found to be positive but I would be surprised if you are.
You've done the right thing by having the test.
Regarding the wait, I'm surprised you have to wait 5 days, there are really quick (lower accuracy) tests that give results instantly.
Are there no private GUM clinics you can go to?
Good luck.

The test will just confirm your status. You already have or don't have HIV, the test is to put your mind at rest.

as salva said you are very low risk.

BUT and a big but, HIV is actually quite difficult to catch.

Elizabeth Glaser contracted HIV from a blood transfusion at the birth of her daughter. She didn't know and went on to have a son.

Her widower Paul Michale Glaser is not infected. They must have been having unprotected sex to conceive their second child.

He made a statement after his wife's death saying how hard it was to contract. I wish I could find it, I remember being so impressed. It went along the lines of his children having the usual cuts and bumps and them bleeding on him and yet he never contracted HIV.