Just been told my pelvic floor muscles are without hope :(

[WorriedFace]

Hey, I'm new (well, I lurk occasionally...)

I'd really really appreciate any advice here... tough day :(

I've had four kids (two aged 12 and 10 and twins aged 8 - been busy!)

The twins were huge and delivered by C section at 40 wks; the other two naturally with no complications / intervention (I tore a little and had stitches with the ten yr old but that's it).

I've noticed (as we all do? I hope?!) that things are a little bigger 'down there' since kids but nothing major and my husband has no complaints (that I know of!)

But I've never really known if I'm doing my pelvic floor exercises right (I cant ever seem to locate them - in isolation - despite really (really really!) trying - I end up just clenching everything).

Also (ahem) I do leak if I sneeze hard, run, go on the trampoline etc.

Anyway (trying to keep this short as I'm desperate for replies / stories / advice)... three yrs ago I went to a female-physio and she ended up giving me an electrode machine thing. To be really honest I never really bothered with it - but then again the problems weren't as bad as they are now.

So today I went back (new woman) and she was as blunt as you like.

She examined me internally and got me to try and "squeeze" her fingers in different places / at different points. I couldn't :(

She got me to try and "lift" at different places / different points. Again, nothing.

I could feel her inside me - but I couldn't contract those muscles.

She said she felt a 'flicker' in one corner - but not much else.

She was really really negative and said that there was "almost certainly no hope" - this is an exact quote - and that there was nothing I could do for myself since it was likely to be a neurological problem (smthg missing in the pathways that meant my brain says 'squeeze' / 'lift' but the muscles don't get the message).

She was also very patronising about my (lack of) knowledge in this area and extremely judgmental about my nightly tipple - but that's the least of my worries. I suppose I appreciate her honesty.

I'm 41 by the way.

She said that all she could do was get me on their mega electrode machine - which inserts a probe and gets the muscles to contract - and "hopefully - but doubtfully" my body might follow.

She talked about a potential operation too that could be done.

Sorry - this is all tumbling out....

I feel so anxious about the whole thing. I was expecting her to help me locate the pelvic floor muscles and then make myself practice. But she really stressed that my pelvic floor is so bad that there's nothing I can do for myself.

She also said that I may never have had these neural pathways - even before kids - and at least reassured me that my you-know-what was normal and not too big (and since she was so blunt, I'm inclined to believe her... this was a fear).

HELP!!!!

Thanks for listening.

I had a friend who had to have some kind of surgery to repair the nerve damage down there after childbirth...she was basically virtually double-incontinent and it took a lot of pushing for referrals to the proper people. A Physio is obviously not enough and other is almost certainly someone else who can help.

Maybe there is a genito-urinary specialist who can assess you?

Thanks .... the op she mentioned though was to do with putting a 'tape' up there - almost (I think) to help secure the bladder / leaking... your friend's op sounds interesting though... if you can add any more info I'd be pleased to hear...

I had a tape put in and a vaginoplasty. Best thing I ever did although the recovery was pretty awful.

I didn't really understand what she meant as I'm not medically inclined, particularly, but in any case it might not be relevant. Main thing is that the Physio is only really trained to give you exercises. You need assessing by someone more senior and specialised now.

OP I've only read your post quickly ,so apologies if I've missed something but....this sounds like rubbish to me .

What on earth is she on about "no hope" ? I can't see how your muscles can be so shot without you being a great deal more incontinent ?

I was pretty bad .leaking all over the place ,every time I moved basically .
Practically bought shares in Tena .

No one ever said there was no hope ,nor was there any mention of "neurological " problems .

Anyway I had a TVT - tape to support bladder as a day op and all is fine now .

Have you been to your GP ?

Come on to this thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/1688913-Pt-7-Feb13-Any-old-prolapse-Uterus-womb-prolapse-rectocele-cystocele-enterocele-urethrocele-incontinence-pelvic-floor-anterior-and-posterior-repair-TVT-etc?pg=23 and copy your post .

Lots of experience and advice . But I doubt anyone will have had experience of being told there's " no hope " .

Poor you ,you must be in bits . I know I would be if I'd gone through that .

There are 2 types of tape. One has been found to migrate around pelvic area. Do your research and go see a ob gyn and ask to be sent for tests (think called urodynamic testing).

I know great guy in blackheath if you are that way.

It is absolutely not true that there's no hope! What a ridiculous thing for her to say. You need a second oppinion.