Feel utterly worn down with family illness and am struggling...

[Badvoc]

Hello.
Since nov last year things have been really tough.
I have 2 young dc and my ds2 (4) was really poorly all winter with what turns out to be asthma (dx last month)
Ds1 also had a bad winter (he is asthmatic too) and they both missed a lot of school and pre school.
Added to this my parents are getting more frail and my mum was rushed into hospital twice in December.
Added to that all the appts and dr appts I have had to take them all to, it's basically meant that near every week since nov I have had to be at the dr or a the hospital.
Mum had a femoral bypass surgery on feb and then my dad got ill.
He is currently undergoing investigations for swallowing difficulties...in fact he is back today for a barium meal.
I have also been ill a few times and was rushed to hospital myself 2 weeks ago with AF. This meant beta blockers and warfarin.
I am also awaiting further tests.
Then, my youngest has been ill/not right since Saturday and yesterday on weds went really downhill so ended up in a and e and he spent the night in hospital on a drip :(
We are home now, but I am just exhausted. Ds2 is still not well, obv, although better than he was.
It's my Dhs b day tomorrow and ds1s on Thursday...and I just feel totally unable to cope with what I need to do.
Dh is nit great at times like this. He went back to work yesterday even though he knew we were due to be discharged, so my dad had to come and get us, and then I had no feint sore key...he just doesn't think and I am pretty sick of it tbh.
I spent a lot of time at the this hospital with ds1 when he was born and I hate the place...hate it. I think I may have some of PTSD from my experiences with ds1 and he knows this.
I have got ds1 off to school this morning, have sorted some washing and put another load on, given ds2 his meds, but am sat here looking at a basket of washing waiting to go on the line, and feel completely unable to do it.
Don't really know why I am posting, other than reassurance it will get better?
I am posting this in MH too as I feel so worn down with it all.
Thanks for reading if you got this far.

I don't know what to say to help, but didn't want to not reply.

Tackling the practical stuff: Birthdays - I'd tell DH you've got too much on your plate to faff about for his birthday. He's a grown man so will have get on with it. How old is DS1? Could you order some stuff for him online from Argos and pick it all up at once?

Washing: is there anyone about in RL (apart from your parents) who could come around today and help you out?

Although you may not want to go to the doctors again, I think you should make an appointment and tell the GP just how overwhelmed you are feeling just now. It sounds like you are under immense pressure.

Thank you.
My sister is coming to see ds2 later on.
I just so worn down.
I don't know what I can do...

Yes it does sound like you have an awful lot on your plate. Agree with Growlithe delay his birthday as you are exhausted. It does not sound like he is being much of a partner try and have a chat this weekend tell him you are near breaking point and need more support. Things will get better it just sounds a really rough time at the moment. Try and do absolute bare minimum this weekend and have a rest! Do you work?

No i dont so never get a break.
Am not planning much this weekend!

Badvoc Oh dear, you sound exhausted. I was worn to a frazzle when DD was a toddler due to her asthma, but add in elderly parents and then being ill yourself, it is no wonder you are worn out.

I think as mums we just muddle on, doing everything, supporting everyone, just generally coping and put ourselves last. However, there comes a time when we have to acknowledge to ourselves that we need some help and only by voicing this will anybody actually listen.

Could you ask your DH to pick up a gift for DS for his birthday? I agree with other posters about postponing his birthday. If you don't point a few things, he may think that you are coping perfectly well and don't need any help.

In answer to your question, does it get any easier - with regards to the asthma - DD has improved as she has got older and it is nothing like as bad as when she was young. As children get older, they can help out more, and are also capable of understanding when you say you are unable to do everything.

Perhaps a trip to the gp would be beneficial if only to talk to someone about how you are feeling.

As mums as long as we are upright, everyone just thinks we are ok, when often that is not the case.

Hope you feel a bit better soon.

Thank you.
Sadly, invites already gone out and some replies received :(
Ordered his gift online today and cake.
My sister came and hung my washing out for me!
I just feel unable to cope at all today. All I have dine is watch ds, give meds to ds, play with ds...
Am now in bed with ds!
Had a phone call earlier and now have one if my appts fro the hospital come through for a week on Monday.
My dad had his barium swallow today too, so should get all his results back soon.
Mum also has an appt at the eye clinic that I totally forgot about too...they think she has the beginnings of a cataract.
Oh, and got ds1s induction letter for his new school too!
Feel totally overwhelmed with stuff.
Dh is no use at all.
No point going there.

What is your sister's situation Badvoc? Could she perhaps cover what is going on with your parents for a bit?

My dad was very poorly and in a nursing home when I was heavily pregnant with DD1. Although I was one of 4 children (my mum had passed away) I was the one who visited every day - it wasn't even as if any of the others had any other commitments. Then DH's sister took very ill suddenly, and my brother and sister took over my dad immediately so we could focus on what was happening with her. It helped a lot.

The situation is she is very selfish :(
She has 2 dc of her own to be fair and a useless dh so she is in effect a single parent.
My brother is also not that helpful in that he can't drive and has a toddler and starts a new job in a weeks time.
Dunno.
It's always been down to me, I guess.
Sorry about your sil.

I may have to cut back on my voluntary work though :(
I just haven't got the energy anymore...

God Badvoc yes, drop the voluntary work!

What I was trying to say is my sis and bro were selfish but they stepped up to the plate when necessary. Tell them it's necessary. The last thing they'll want is for you to unravel - that won't suit them if they are normally selfish!

Thanks for your concern.
I will give it some thought over the weekend.