Well, I couldn't keep away! Here is the situation. It will be longish, so...
Dh does not want another baby at all. Reasons are all logical, mainly because he wants our relationship to improve as ds gets older and easier. He thinks that another baby will take us to the divorce courts. He is probably right! I totally agree with his reasons, and half of me is happy to acquiesce. However, the other half is getting desperate for a baby. I always wanted two children, and my hormones are really urging me towards that goal.
I am gutted that I will never have another baby. I had intended to start coming off my ADs at the end of this month, and by June was hoping to try for another baby. Dh was very sorry to upset me so much, and was nice to me all last weekend. However, things are back to normal now, so that did not last long. I now have the decision to make of whether a baby is more important to me than my marriage. At this point in time, I am strongly considering cutting my losses now, and leaving my marriage. At least then, if I never had another baby, I would not have him to blame and feel bitter towards. He does not know that I feel this way, although I have mentioned not wanting to blame him in 15 years time, when it is all too late for me.
He sincerely wants our relationship to work (with only one child), and thinks that it will once ds is more adult friendly (as it were). He wants the kite-flying and football kicking fun without a baby in the way. He wants the ski-ing holidays etc in the next xouple of years, when ds is old enough to take too. I asked him if he loved ME, and whether he wanted to be with me. He said yes, but he would be with me for ds, even if he didn't love me. That is mad IMO.
I sincerely doubt whether we are going to make it through this, and am so unsure what to do. I love my ds totally, and he is the world to me, but I feel the need for another baby. What can I do? Each ovulation time, my body is raring to go, and each period feels like a wasted month.
Dh is going snowboarding for 11 days on the 18th of Feb, and I need to do some serious thinking, and maybe get some advice about what I would be entitled to if I left with ds.