Feeling so alone.

[Hardhaton]

I'm feeling so down and alone ATM, my 'friends' don't seem to give a shit.
I feel like I'm bothering them when I call or text them, I can almost hear the thought ( oh god it's her).
My dh is the best, he truly is my best friend in the whole world but I miss the girlie giggles.
I seem to do everything for these girls all the birthdays, organising the nights out, picking up kids, but when I just need a chat it seems like they don't wanna know.
Maybe I'm just imagining the whole thing, I really have had enough and I want out of it, but I'm terrified that I'm gonna be alone.
It's my 30th in aug and for all their major bdays we always go all out, cakes, balloons, and a major present

1. Got a diamond ring
2. Got a pandora bracelet
3. Got a gucci bracelet

I'm not a materialistic person but I really want a good birthday as a child I never had a party or even at 18 I was pregnant and 21 I was a single mum. I really don't think they will step up. I know I sound totally mental but this is really getting to me. Please be gentle

Any advise? Please be gentle

Don't want to read and run but don't have a huge amount of advice. Only thing I would say is to be honest with them, maybe text one or 2 friends and say you are feeling a bit down and could they pop over for a cuppa, or meet one day next week.

Maybe your DH could have a quiet word with a couple of them about your birthday, along the lines of he wants to get you something nice or do something like a spa day, and would they like to chip in etc, to get them thinking about it.

Tbh, friend 1. Has said to them a few times regarding my bday and it falls on deaf ears, by the comments she makes.
I don't expect an expensive prezzie but I just wanna know that they feel the same way I do about them.
To me they r my family, mum died 6 years ago, mil died in march, dad I don't speak to and my brothers family are my only family.

Don't take this the wrong way but do your friends actually know they mean that much to you. Have you actually said to them they are like your family, if they have all their families then they may not realise. It is easy to forget (on both sides of a friendship) just how hard things are for the other. Plus every day life just gets in the way some times.

Sorry for the late reply.
Yeah they know, I just think life gets in the way sometimes. They all have the big family backgrounds as well as their own family's so maybe its a case of they don't see my point of view.