The difference between being 'very unhappy' and depressed

[handlemecarefully]

I recently went to the docs with my dd's ear infection and at the end of the consultation, broke into tears and mentioned that I had been feeling very down and unhappy (I'm 28 wks pregnant and wondered if this was something to do with it). He referred me to the Community Psychiatric team and a CPDN came to visit me. Her assessment was that I am merely 'rather unhappy' rather than clinically depressed - so that's it then!

Frankly is there a fu**ing difference? Apparently the fact that I can still sleep at night, manage to get out of bed and go to work / look after dd and can motivate myself to leave the house means that I am okay. Has she not heard of a strong sense of responsibility - I would love to stay in bed, fester in my own misery and shut the world out....but I manage to keep it together and get on with it because I have things that I must do -like keep going for dd's sake...(btw I am not implicitly criticising people who have suffered from depression and secumbed to these symptoms - my own SIL had very serious depression and I witnessed it first hand and truly felt for her). Doesn't peoples' depression manifest itself in different ways...

Surely it can't be 'okay' that I feel continously down and find life a joyless experience at the moment? (which is not normal for me). I think I might benefit from ante depressants...but then what do I know!

Sorry this isn't meant to be a self pitying post - I just wondered what other peoples take on this might be? Any similar experiences etc?

Sorry - meant to say if you need extra 'help' go back to docs.
xxx

Hmc, here is rhubarb's miseryguts thread about being depressed and pregant. Do look at her link towards the bottom, it might help. There was lots of advice on this thread IIRC (but haven't re read it so could be wrong)

My experience of depression is that I can not forsee ever feeling positive again. I have this almost physical feeling of a 'lump' in my stomach, which is like a lead weight dragging me down. I can sit on a sofa for ages, not thinking, but just generally feeling that there is no point me being alive, because everyone would be better off if I was gone. I am paranoid to the point of thinking that everyone dislikes me (friends) or physically hurt me (strangers).It is nothing like feeling unhappy for a few days. HTH

HandlemeCarefully, I was diagnosed with something called dysthimia which is a "low level" type depression that had one and off my whole life as far as I can remember. Thankfully, I had a therapist who recognized that I was in nervous state of exhaustion, tying to be the pefect Mom, working full time, sleep deprived, etc. I never had the kind of depression that kept me in bed because it was always overlaid with anxiety that "forced" me to get up and be responsible for everything that needed to get done (and get done perfectly btw). Everyone her has given you such good inforation and advice. Thinking about you and hope that you are feeling better. I wanted to especially thank Bundle for the link on Dorothy Rowe which was very interesting to read and I might just purchase one of her books. Could you get another CPDN to evaluate you to ease your mind?

HMC, the usual thinking is that the more control you feel over your life, the happier you are (there are other things too like friendship networks etc). So maybe taking some control back would help you - or at least reframing your thoughts. You will be soon on maternity leave (soonish!) and that's a great time to rethink your work. I don't know what you do but there must be something else that is related to it that you could do. Maybe brainstorm anything at all that you would like to do and think about how to achieve it. There are always other options other than a/stay as you are b/be a SAHM - go part time, get another job in a related field, set up own business...let your imagination run riot. Then carve yourself some me time. If you work f/t take a few hours at the weekend just for you. What would you do with the time? Do it! Then, maybe, buy a couple of books on marital communication and do some work on your marriage. I think anything you actively do will feel better than feeling powerless and trapped. FWIW, if you don't have to take anti-depressants, I think it's best not to. Obviously they are fantastic and literally life-saving for those who need them, but not to be taken lightly, I think. If you do feel perpetually gloomy then maybe some counselling or life coaching would seem a better first step to me than ADs.

I know this sounds ridiculously superficial, but I have found for me and for others, that a bit of time just to potter about on your own and a trip to a really nice hairdressers, a decent night's sleep and taking some extra iron and vitamins can have an incredibly cheering effect (provided, of course, that you aren't actually depressed).

HMC, article's out now.

Thanks motherinferior - I'll pop over to the on site shop (at the hospital where I work) and will buy a copy to read over lunch...

Great article, motherinferior.
I got a free bag, too!
There's an interesting feature about relationships in there too and going by that, mine is f**ked.!!

i think the difference is as has been mentioned the feeling of control - i thnk whether or not you have hope is a major factor.