Strategies for avoiding depression - care to share them?

[WideWebWitch]

I don't think I'm depressed but am very aware that I have been before and it could happen again. I am scared, no, make that terrified, of this. The first time, 6 years ago, it was low level depression and, I think, connected to social isolation and circumstances (my GP and my mum both agreed on this) added to the shock of first time parenthood. I took St Johns Wort which helped.

This morning, I had an hour where I felt panicky and weak and I really worried that it was coming back. However, on talking to a friend (thank you, you know who you are), we reckoned betweeen us that it was very likely that my feelings were related to my circumstances atm. These are that I've had 2 terrible nights up with dd (she's 8 weeks), no food since 8pm last night, various stressful arguments with ds's school, I'm at home with a squalling windy baby, my car wouldn't start (again) this morning, the house is a tip and we're being inspected tomorrow by the letting agent, there are 2 extra children coming for tea tonight, I'm v. worried about a dear friend whose husband of 20 years has just walked out on her and their 3 children (so worried I drove for 3 hours to see her yesterday) and I'm knackered! I feel a lot better for realising that it's reasonable to feel a bit overwhelmed by all this. I don't feel suicidal, I can eat (just hadn't managed it this am), I can sleep but had just done dp's turn in the night as a favour to him and I do take joy in my dd and look forward to things. So I doubt I'm depressed but I wondered if anyone had any other coping strategies they could share with me? Pouring it out on mumsnet is a good one and reading the above back actually, it's no wonder I was fed up this morning I think.

I also called my mum and she came over. We went for a walk and I realise that I feel a lot better for some exercise, some fresh air and for eating something. Plus I'm going to have a v. early night too so I know sleep is imminent. Talking, walking and eating made all the difference today. Had I not been able to do these things I really think I'd have lost it. Thanks for listening - if any one has any other ideas for staving off the black clouds I'd love to hear them.

Oh www, I've only just seen this. Look, it's ok to have a bad day every now and then. Considering your circumstances I think you're doing bloody well! I've not been on MN for a few days because I've been having a bad time too. Coping with 2 is so much harder and I find that I often feel pulled in 3 direction - dh, dd and ds, leaving little or no time for me. I also worry about dd, I worry that she's getting too shy again, too clingy, not getting enough attention. So I try to give her as much time as I can, but then I worry that I'm not stimulating the baby enough. And then there's dh who is hinting that he might as well become a priest, so that puts pressure on me too. Then I lose my temper with dd or I burst into tears as it all gets too much. The housework isn't done, I don't have time. We're having more bacon and chips because I just can't summon the energy to cook a meal. Then family will phone, my sister to tell me about her marital problems, my other sister about how no-one has it as bad as her, my dad to tell me how worried he is about my brother....I could go on.

It's hard and sometimes you just feel like walking out on everyone. Or closing your bedroom door and shutting yourself off from the world. I find it hard b/fing too as I have to be there for him, I have to find the strength to get up and feed him, and I have to eat for his sake. In some ways though, that helps as it forces me to eat and to get up.

Sorry, this message doesn't make much sense does it? I just wanted to say www, that you are not on your own. Force yourself to get out every day, even if it's just to the shop, you need to face the world every day. When you are feeding, put on some of your fav. music to listen to whilst feeding her, this usually cheers me a little. Make time this weekend to go out shopping or something. Leave a bottle with your dp and just do something for yourself, get some luxury bubble bath and pampering stuff. I also find that a couple of glasses of wine and a cheerful video helps!

Above all, keep eating, if you don't eat you will feel worse. Is it worth getting the Doc to check out your iron levels, I know mine are really low at the mo and that doesn't help either.

Thinking of you, hope things improve soon.

What wonderful advice there is here - now I've just got to follow it myself . This is a strategy that I have used many times:
When you're not feeling too bad choose a memory of something that you did that fills you with joy or laughter or pride, anything at all, and think about it so that you remember it. then, when you're really low, take 5 or 10 minutes to concentrate on that memory. i mean REALLY concentrate on it, go through the event step by step, recall what you were wearing, what you did, what you smelled, what you saw, heard, said.

I do hope you feel better soon, WWW. You're having a hard time right now. Remember to praise and reward yourself for your own achievements. When my dd was your dd's age (I too have an older ds) I considered that getting the three of us out of the house in them morning, all 3 washed and dressed was an enormous achievement - and deliberately praised myself for doing so!

When I became a Mumsnetter you were one of the wisest and most wonderful voices that I listened to, and that helped me a lot. You were clearly very tired when you started this thread and I do hope some good sleep will help restore your belief in yourself.