Coping with serious illness and kids

[Rmea]

I said I'd let you know how things went.

Everything went very smoothly at home. The younger 2 seemed unaffected and the older 2 coped well.
The op went well too and the surgeon didn't remove the whole muscle, just the outer layer. This meant that my time on a zimmer frame was much shorter than it might have been! I'm on a walking stick now.
The really good news is that the tumour was not as aggressive as they thought and so the risks of the cancer spreading anywhere else are very small. This also means I haven't got to have radiotherapy either. The only downside is that I am left with a large cavity in my hip which is permanent and rather grotesque. I guess I'll get used to it eventually.
The Royal Marsden in Chelsea is an excellent place. Their pain policy seems to be "you mustn't have any" and the knowledge and care of all the staff is really good. The food isn't too impressive though.
I'm now going for regular check-ups and just hope the tumour doesn't regrow.

Ginette

That's teriffic Ginette - great to hear you so positive. We are all cheering for you!.

Good to hear from you and I hope things continue to improve steadily

Ginette, great news. Good to hear that you are in such excellent hands and that the children are OK about the whole event. Hope things continue to go well!

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Ginnette I was wondering about you too - great news! A guy in my office has this theory about women in the office connecting with each other even where all the women's 'cycles' (cue Les Dawson face and jiggle of pneumatic bosooms) suddenly happen at the same time! Thanks mumsnet!!

hi, ginette
i've come to this site too late to help with pre-op advice but i am in roughly the same position as you so if you are still looking to compare notes i'd be happy to.
i was diagnosed with breast cancer last autumn, had a lumpectomy in early november; the lymph nodes were clear but the 2 lumps were aggressive so i am currently mid-chemotherapy. i am reasonably well recovered from the surgery but the chemo is making me tired. the chemo will end in june and i'll have 3 weeks of radiotherapy in july/august.
my kids are 18,15,12 and 7; easier to deal with in that they are self-propelled but harder in other ways (eg adolescence!!!)
they have been kept as informed as i felt they could cope with; the littlest gets the truth but it's edited. they have been ok about it and have behaved more or less as normal - not overly good or bad - which is a relief!
anyway i'll look in on here again in a few days and see if you've been on! hope you're still feeling as positive as you sounded in your last posting; i bet it still hurts though.

Hi, I'm very new to this site, but I wondered if you could help me? .... My God-daughter, Emily is four and a half, and has just been diagnosed with Wilms Tumour (a tumour on the kidney), which has unfortunately spread to her chest. She has had her Hickman Line put in, and will be starting Chemo tomorrow. I'm really asking for any positive advice or tips, anything really, that I could give to her Mum. She is my oldest friend, and I would love to be able to do something useful. I have been on a few sites for more info. But its the silly little things, that might make the world of difference at the mo. (Please only positive responses -thanks).

Hi jandmsmum,

My husband was diagnosed with a Wilm's tumour in 1980 when he was 5. In those days (which makes us sound so ancient!) the survival rate was negligible but ... he did and is now a daddy himself (and a doctor). The prognosis these days is infinitely better so - nothing technical but maybe just knowing that there are people out there who do survive and thrive and have completely normal lives would be helpful? I hope so - you and she will be in our thoughts especially. I will ask his mum if she has any thoughts/tips/advice that she had/would have like to have had at the time and get back to you.

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Hi, not spoken to dh's mum yet but he said to pass on that Wilm's tumours are v chemo responsive. Just a thought that I had last night - are there any siblings? Dh has an elder brother and a younger sister who needed lots of love and attention whilst he was ill esp as his mum used to sleep in the hospital whilst he was having chemo. Maybe you could help out with homework, going to the park, just chatting and being there for them? Lots of luck for today.

Thanks you so much for the support and kind words. I will definitely contact the help group, that sounds exactly what they might need. Good to hear that it is very chemo responsive, Lucy (her Mum) had been told that she would see it shrink in size very quickly, which ties in. Unfortunately we live an hour and 15 mins away from one another, so helping out with her younger child, Rosie, is difficult. However, Lucy has her Mum very close by and she is being fantastic .... please keep those ideas, thoughts coming for us and thank you again.

I work as a volunteer for the Rainbow Trust Children's Charity. It's based in Leatherhead, and its aim is to offer family centred care for children with life-threatening or terminal illness. Through teams of family support workers, the charity offers help to families going through diagnosis and treatment with an ill child. The support workers will make siblings their priority, so that parents are free to concentrate on their ill child. The support workers are very experienced, and can offer frightened parents a great deal of practical and emotional help. The charity also has two respite care homes, one in Surrey and the other in Northumberland, where families can take a holiday together when the pressure at home becomes too great to bear.
Your friend could get a lot of comfort and support from the Rainbow Trust. They can be contacted at their head office on 01372 363438, or e-mail [email protected]. (Their website is www.rainbowtrust.org.uk)

Thanks Mooma,

I will pass on the details to Lucy and hopefully she will contact them, they are coming out of hospital again today, after a few gruelling days, she has started her Chemo and was pretty sick, but hopefully they have the anti-sick drug doseage right now, and she has become anaemic so has had a couple of transfusions ... nothing runs smoothly does it?! ... but we are hoping to hear she is home again today, until her next dose.
Thanks again for leaving your mesage.