A rant about my health

[Moodymoth]

Firstly I know that my problems are not bad. I just want to moan.

I nearly died along with my daughter (during childbirth) 8 months ago. I am very grateful for us being saved.what I cant cope with is the flashbacks,bad dreams&the paniac when im reminded of the birth. it was a crash section&i had an ovary & 2 cysts removed. my daughter was resuciated&luckily is healthy.

since the birth I am in pain&im sick constantly. I have been diagnosedd with endometriosis. I am going for a chest xray at the hospital because I cant shift a viral infection. I have to go alone&im scared I will cry. I know I should grow up but that event has changed me for ever.

I am catching bugs constantly. d&v, colds. I think its cos im stressed. I slipped a disk in my back 7 months ago and im scared of it happening again.

I just want to be strong.i take vitamims etc. I just dont know how to get myself better. I was feeling down but I am fighting that&making positive changes in my life

Are you sure it's not depression? It has funny ways of showing itself. You may need some counselling, if you experience something traumatic sometimes it lingers and manifests itself in other ways.

gosh Moodymoth, what a lot you have had to go through. It sounds horrible, and although you acknowledge that other people have worse problems, I think you should cut yourself some slack.

Is there no one at all who can go to the hospital with you? Being in pain constantly is so very very draining. Are you getting much sleep? Do you have any help with your baby?

The months after birth are hard enough without all the associated problems you have had to suffer.

Marathon- it may be depression but I dont know. I have thought about counselling and think it would be v helpful. I also have a v stressful job but I have been working hard to not take that stress home&deal with it. I dont have trouble with day to day jobs apart from the pain. I have to walk slower than usual etc bec of the pain but I would expect to have trouble getting up,doing chores,seeing people if I was depressed.

Humprey- I. have family support but my mil (main support) is a carer herself. I dont want to burden friends with going to the appointment with me. I dont sleep well. I have 3 kids 5 and under&i have lots of nightmares.

I think I feel bad now because I was up last night with d&v. I wonder if I have problems with my immune system

Have you heard of the birth trauma association?

Have a look on there. You don't need to minimise what you are experiencing.

You went through a terrible ordeal. Don't feel guilty about how you feel. Your brain is trying to process what happened.

Can you take some music to listen to in the waiting room for the x-ray? Write down on a piece of paper to explain that you are very nervous and hand that to a nurse to explain if you feel overwhelmed.

Does your job offer counselling helpline. Lots of jobs do and sometimes people don't realise.

Be kind to yourself.