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Original poster

heart condition

131 replies

Evita · 24/01/2004 16:31

Don't know if anyone can help with this, but maybe writing it down will help me anyway.

I've just been diagnosed with having an abnormal heart rhythm which may or may not link to some serious underlying cause. However, I've been feeling pretty lousy with it: depressed, lethargic, dizzy, breathless, etc. And what I'm really worried about is how I'm going to cope with looking after my 15 month old with this going on. I get in a real fret at the thought of my passing out suddenly when she's in the bath or when she's in her cot in the daytime. My partner often has to go away so I'm here alone and we have no close friends or family around who would even know anything had happened to me.

Is there any kind of social service I could call on to help me in this kind of situation?

OP posts:
Original poster
Evita · 04/02/2004 11:04

Well, actually at the moment I don't think people have much trouble realising I'm not very well! I look rather grey faced and slow and shaky and pretty underweight.

I really do hope it will turn out like some people here have said, that in a few years and with medication I feel better and have a better quality of life. At the moment I'm literally dragging myself through the days.

Very exhausted. Very weepy. Can't wait for dp to come back.

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expatkat · 04/02/2004 12:55

EvitaAre you still sleeping badly? That could be making you feel worse, physically & emotionally. And don't worry about taking "years" to feel better; once you get it sorted and they figure out how to treat it you'll feel better immediately. A lot of us here know how you feel. Look, I know your parents are 3 hours away, but if it were me I'd put in an SOS to them. If this isn't cause for an SOS, what is? Then 22-month ds & I stayed with my in-laws when I was in your position: scared, feeling awful & waiting for an appointment. What about the numbers to call suggested by Butterflyit may not lead to anything, but who knows, maybe someone there can get you on a fast-track to getting seen by a cardiologist. What is dp's take on all this? OK, he's technophobic, but he can call you from a phone booth, no? And can he arrange for his parents to stay with you? I'm sorry to take the "tough" approach but I think you have to be proactive & get what you need right now. I think it's no exaggeration to call this a "crisis" not least because of the terrible worry you are experience.

Original poster
Evita · 04/02/2004 15:58

Expatkat, I truly would put out an SOS if I possibly could. We live in a tiny tiny flat and can barely fit ourselves in let alone anyone else. I would have my mom here like a shot if I could but she'd literally have to sleep with me and she also has a dog which would have to come and we're on the 21st floor. As for dp's family, his father died just before Christmas and his mom doesn't like me (a long story, but basically I'm Jewish and she's a right wing German), so no support there. In my mind I continually go over the options of who can I ask for help / where could I go if desperate. I long to get out of London and to be somewhere smaller where I could perhaps belong to a sort of community. For the moment, I really am rather alone. I know it doesn't help with the stress etc.

Thanks so much for your concern though and I'm sorry for sounding such a misery. I'm not naturally a miserable person, I'm usually a bit of a comic (honest!) but right now I'm low low low.

OP posts:
expatkat · 04/02/2004 16:31

I meant more that you should go to yr parents' place, not vice versa (which is what I do--as I too have a problem accommodating visitors.) But I'm sure you've already thought of that.

Just wanted to make sure you weren't afraid of asking for help. I am, so I was probably projecting my own neuroses onto you.

butterflymum · 04/02/2004 17:02

Evita

STARS will not be able to do any 'fast-tracking' as they are a charity, not a department within the NHS, but they have a very helpful and supportive team and will give you as much info as they possibly can and suggest possible ways forward.

Trudy, the founder, is a lovely person (I have met her in real life) and is very easy to talk to. She does have access to a number of medical specialists who also support and advise on the work the charity do. If you do not feel able to talk to her or her colleagues then why not make use of the 'Ask the Expert' section on the STARS website - just click on the link on their left hand menu. You can send an email to them with your
questions. Whilst they will not be able to diagnose, they will attempt to answer you fully and if possible, may be able to direct you to an expert in your area (although they will not be able to secure appointments).

Hope this helps.

butterfly

butterflymum · 04/02/2004 17:07

Oops, that should have been 'Trudie' .

Original poster
Evita · 04/02/2004 21:03

Thanks butterflymum, I already have posted some questions on the website.

expatkat, well I could take a train to my moms, I have done that quite a bit lately. But it's hard with dp away as I have to take an hour bus ride to the station with dd plus stuff, then the long train journey. By the time I'm there I'm absolutely utterly shattered. You know what it's like taking a journey with a 15 month old!! If she sleeps it's nice but sometimes she's too excited and nosy and I have to do non-stop entertainment to keep her in the pram. I kind of also feel a bit bad putting any pressure on my mom. She's almost 70 now and has a bad hip and lives in a tiny cottage. She'd do anything for me but it is a strain having me and the little dynamo around.

I so wish I lived closer to my mom. My father's dead unfortunately. And I have a lovely brother but he's in Birmingham which isn't so far away but he doesn't have any space to put me up.

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expatkat · 05/02/2004 17:14

After months with no symptoms, I am feeling my arrhythmia quite a lot yesterday & today: constant skipped beats, slight tightness in chest & breathlessnes. I've tried to analyze why I've got them back & have concluded (1) not enough sleep (2) anxiety over work/deadlines (3) perhaps a touch too much alcohol this last week, but maybe not even. . .. But sometimes there are no apparent reasons at all for its coming back. I took a beta blocker but I don't think it's doing the trick today. Reclining seems to help; it's worst when I'm standing.

Anyway, FWIW, after all these years I still feel anxious when I get these symptoms. I start to think through whom I can call/where I can go if necessary. There's a building sight just outside, and I am reassuring myself that I can ask one of the builders to get help if absolutely necessary.

Though my doctor keeps saying these palpitations are actually quite benign, they feel like they can't possibly be.

I hope you're doing better today, Evita.

Are you eating well? Electrolyte imbalance can cause arrhytmias. I'm thin too, and have been thinner, so doctors have tended to make that assumption first. But I eat v. greedily, so no electrolyte problems for me. But the upshot is: make sure you're eating.

Original poster
Evita · 05/02/2004 20:53

I hope you're feeling better by the time you read this, expatkat.

Yes, my thinness always gets pointed out. But I've been much thinner in the past too. I'm currently about 117lbs and 5,8". But I've been lower than 100lbs in the past. I've had electrolytes etc. checked and they seem to be ok.

Tiredness definitely makes me feel worse, it's a complete sure fire thing. When I've slept badly I have a lousy day.

Time has dragged these last few days. Dd has kept me going but I feel as though I've been a bit of a lacklustre mom. Dp home tonight, late, it feels as though I've been waiting for him forever ...

Are you in the states with all your family or did they stay in London?

I really know what you mean about looking around you for help. Just in case. I'm always now doing things 'just in case.' Always making sure there's a little beaker of water and some snacks lurking around the lounge for dd if I should keel over.

OP posts:
expatkat · 06/02/2004 15:39

Evita, you're in a different category of thinness. I'm not nearly that thin. Shorter & heavier (quite) than you.

My kids are with me. Dh remains in London. An au pair lives with me which I find comforting due to the heart thing. My parents live 6 hours away.

expatkat · 06/02/2004 15:48

PS Glad your dp is home now. Please keep us posted as you find out more. You too, hulababy, misdee, Droile & anyone else I've missed.

Hulababy · 06/02/2004 15:51

I am okay. My chest is still pretty tight and I fell more breathless and tired but still think it is a result of all the cold weather mainly. Also, having to climb those 139 stairs every day (lift now out of action for 12 weeks), carrying bags and DD isn't helping. My heart just has to work too hard and it hurts by the time I reach the top. Bless her, DD now climbs the last 2 floors worth herself - she is only 22 months so a long way for her.

I hope everyone else is feeling okay at the moment.

Original poster
Evita · 06/02/2004 17:00

I just wanted to tell everyone, again, how much these posts have helped me through this week. I've felt very alone and afraid and this thread has been a bit more of a mini lifeline than a thread.

Thanks to all of you xxx

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noddy5 · 06/02/2004 20:47

I have had a lot of trouble with the cold weather
and we are moving to a bungalow to avoid the mega stairs in our tall victorian house sometimes I cant even make it to my sons room to say goodnight..Glad your dp is back perhaps youll get some rest

hulababy · 07/02/2004 16:23

noddy5 - the cold weather affects me too and makes my chest very tight.

My herat is a bit off again this week since the lift stopped. Those steps to my 5th floor are proving a killer at the moment, especially when I am carrying DD. Do you think it will improve within those 12 weeks? Exercise just doesn't seem to suit me at all.

Original poster
Evita · 08/02/2004 21:10

noddy5, bungalow sounds great! Especially in Brighton. I'll move in with you if that's ok?

hulababy, I dread it when our lifts go down. I live on the 21st floor so you can imagine how many flights I have to get up. Fortunately I haven't had to do it since my heart's been playing up, or in fact since I had dd.

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hulababy · 08/02/2004 21:14

Oh my god - 21st floor. That is a nightmare. I just simply wouldn't go out - heart playing up or not!!!

Original poster
Evita · 09/02/2004 10:44

It IS tempting to not go out sometimes. But my dd gets SO bored if I stay in all day.

How do other moms when feeling really lousy cope with entertaining their little ones? Or maybe it gets easier as they get older? dd is 16 months.

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Hulababy · 09/02/2004 20:18

DD is 22 months and is pretty good at playing by herself for periods of time, but I don't like to leave her to do so for long. On my days off from work we tend to go out a lot, and maybe meet with friends as well so I get some time to relax and chat. Otherwise maybe just a walk round town, the park, etc. I find going out easier than staying in many times.

jampot · 09/02/2004 20:40

I was diagnosed as having mitral valve prolapse about 15 years ago. It's something which I would have been born with and the symptoms were breathlessness, heart palpitations, dizziness. I had a heart scan after my GP noticed an irreguar rythmn and it was picked up then. I have never had medication and was discharged nearly 11 years ago after 6 monthly check ups. The only thing to watch is I have to have prophylactic (sp?) antibiotics when having dental work or babies! Strangely at about the time I started suffering from the symptoms, my mum had just had a dog and about the time my symptoms ceased, she had to give the dog up due to ill health, so I actually wonder whether I was slightly allergic to dog and he actually caused my symptoms. I used to worry about passing out etc but my kids are now nearly 11 and 7 and I've made sure most of my friends know about this problem.

Original poster
Evita · 09/02/2004 21:14

jampot, that's reassuring, thanks.

hulababy, but do you ever feel just not able to get out and about? I find I have so little energy some days, I mean literally like I can't lift my arm to do something. So I lie on the bed or sit on the sofa and poor dd has to entertain herself. Sometimes she's ok, others I can see she's desperate for me to get up and play with her. I hate it. It makes me feel like such a failure of a mom.

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Hulababy · 10/02/2004 09:03

Fortunately Evita my problems do not seem to be anywhere near as bad as yours. I can't imagine what that would be like.

Hulababy · 10/02/2004 11:10

However, really not feeling so good today at work. I have had 2 classes so far this morning. Not particularly bad classes but full ones - lots of Y7 and Y8 pupils. But I don't feel like I am coping very well with them. My chest feels very tight, I am tired and feel very shaky. I don't really know why or what the cause may be either. I have a really difficult special needs class next and am dreading it. Once that it over though I have sixth form all afternoon so can take it a bit easier hopefully.

I just feel like curling up in a ball and crying right now though Why are some days like this and others not?

noddy5 · 10/02/2004 11:14

I have been up all night with a really bad cough and the combination of tiredness and coughing has set my heart off.My son is 9 so he is at school but even the short walk to school this morning left me breathless.Some days it is just harder today I can hardly keep my eyes open and i feel quite giddy so i plan to rest all day.as you can see even punctuation goes out the window on days like this!

Hulababy · 10/02/2004 11:16

Do you think all this cold weather may be having a negative impact too? I just don't know why i feel so bad today. It is currently break time and have refused to allow any pupils in to use the computers just so I can spend 10 minutes having time out for myself.